Only You
by Mizuume
Summary: What if Tomoe never died in that battle? What if Kenshin spent those years in Otsu and never met Kaoru? But what if he meets her a little later? What if they fall in love? And what if this love is her downfall? Despite the past,some things are meant to be
1. Prologue

Hey Guys

I'm an absolute newbie here. I only got my account a week and a half ago. I've been writing for far longer, though.

I thought of this story a long time ago. I have 94 pages so far, so i'll be posting often, even if I get to a point where I haven't had anything pre-written yet. PROMISE! I will NOT put this story on hold or discontinue it. I've had authors drop in the middle of theirs, and I know how painful it is .

Anyways, I'll let you read on.

**PS: Even though I've got stuff pre-written, I'm VERY much open to other writers' suggestions and criticism, and i'll adjust it where it's needed if you guys want.**

**Prologue**

**Fate's Different Plan**

**By Mizuume**

He stood in the snowy battlefield, his sword raised, his head fuzzy, with one name, burned into the depths of his mind; the one thing he wanted, and the one thing he was fighting for now.

Tomoe.

He raised the sword high into the air. Blood trickled all over, and for the second time since he'd turned into a Hitokiri, it was his own blood, not the blood of an oblivious, confused victim that had met his end from the point of Kenshin's sword.

A woman's somber, serene, familiar face entered his mind's eye. Her black eyes were bottomless, lifeless, pained… and he knew that when this fight was over, he would bring the life back into them. Whether the life in those eyes had ever been there or not, he would bring it. That was the one thing that clicked in his mind. Their future would be full of them, together, helping each other and healing one another's past wounds, with no outside forces ruining the things they'd worked so hard to build.

That train of thought, that attitude, that hope, was what drove him to deal his opponent a fifty-fifty blow. He could win or he could lose. And if the blow missed, it would be his body lying in blood stained snow. He intended to win.

White plum entered his senses. It came faintly at first, but then it got stronger and stronger until he knew she was in front of him. He was filled with dread. He couldn't stop. But, as if the gods had wanted this, Kenshin's foot hit something unknown and he tumbled sideways, his sword flying out of his outstretched arm. It brushed past Tomoe, leaving a minor cut, and went beyond her, only to embed itself in his opponent's chest. The burly man fell back, his eyes still wide and his mouth still open, and he met his end on the ground, staining the already blood-stained snow with even more blood.

Kenshin looked up. His wife was standing before him, unmoving and in shocked silence, her thin lips twisted into a line of pain. While all he wanted was to spring to his feet and take the woman in his arms, he found the strength wasn't in him. He rose shakily to his feet, and when he was standing upright his body trembled precariously. Tomoe was only a couple of feet away. Only a few steps and he'd be holding her in his arms. If only he could move. He smiled at her, a smile full of pride and relief. But she was still staring out blankly at him, and she didn't smile back. Instead, she lifted a hand to the shallow gash in her arm and slowly ran her fingers over the red-stained cloth. Then, disgusted by the presence of so much blood, she fainted the same way she had when the two people had first met.

When the Bakumatsu ended two years later, the couple finally had a life together. They dropped the act of husband and wife and became spouses for real. They farmed and lived comfortably in the modest little farmhouse Katsura had first granted them, those many months ago. Tomoe and Kenshin tried with effort to have children, but the fact remained that she was infertile, so it was only the two of them to fill the silence of the house. Naturally, the house was often silent, because Kenshin and Tomoe were not talkers when it came to one another. They expressed themselves more with their eyes even than with their gestures. Because Kenshin's eyes had been so hard and emotionless during his life as a Hitokiri, expressing anything meant the occasional crinkling in the outside corners of his eyes, or a slow blink and a nod. Tomoe wasn't very different. Her smiles weren't smirks, and they weren't ear to ear, either. It was almost like turning up the edges of her mouth was all she could do. The rest of her features remained impassive, so only those who knew her well would know the smile were sincere. Kenshin knew her well.

The years he spent with her had encouraged more words, however. She didn't change much, but Kenshin's whole personality changed. He was a little more polite, a little more compassionate, and his smiles came more often. It was like there was room to be happy now that his life wasn't completely surrounded by death. He offered a few people a friendly smile and was happy to help where he could in his free time. Katsura made the occasional request, but in the time of the Meiji era, few people had to be assassinated anymore.

So he and Tomoe farmed, offered a helping hand here and there, and lived off the money his former job had earned them. He was content, and knowing no better, he didn't want it any other way.

But nearly ten years after Tomoe's life was saved, fate turned the tables and took into effect the making of what is supposed to be.

Kenshin looked up from his bowl of rice and stared out to the porch. He spied her kneeling on the wood, her back to him but turned slightly so he could see her hands folded into her lap and the edge of her oval, undefined cheeks. He stood and walked towards the broad doorway. He leaned against the frame and stared out into the night, leaving the companionable silence between them undisturbed.

The silence was no longer awkward. After ten years of it, he didn't expect much conversation. Tomoe didn't like to talk, and though his liking for conversation had grown considerably, he knew she would remain unresponsive or only nod in acknowledgement if he blabbered to her about his day. When he felt the sudden urge to talk; to let off some steam and talk until the listener's ears turned inside out, he would go to a neighbor. Besides, things between them had been rocky, and they'd grown apart. She hadn't let him touch her in more than three months. She turned to him suddenly and the corners of her mouth turned slightly upwards, and he returned her form of smiling with an awkward half grin, half grimace.

"Are you all right?" He asked her after a moment, noticing the listlessness in her red-rimmed eyes.

"Hai." She turned back to the night. "It's only the wind."

Kenshin frowned and noted that there was no wind and it was a warm summer's night, but he knew not to question her. It would get him nowhere.

"Katsura sent word up here while you were at the market this morning." She said.

"Oh?"

"He wants you to go to Tokyo."

"Who will I kill this time?"

"Gohei Hiruma."

"I see. I'm not surprised the job came around. I was expecting it."

"Why?"

"He's causing trouble. Killing police, murdering, kidnapping, raping… He's a thorn in the Ishin Shishi's side. Convinced everyone he's Battousai. Apparently, Lord Okubo doesn't want to partner up with Katsura anymore, because one of us is causing unrest in the city."

"I see." That was all he got in response.

"How long will I be away?"

"Katsura said about two weeks."

"That's a long time."

"He said something about damage control after you kill him."

"When do I leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Hn. I thought Katsura was more considerate than to send word the day before…"

Tomoe stood and walked to the bedroom. "Pack up," she said. She gestured with a flick of her head that she would be in the bathhouse.

"Hai."

Kenshin sighed to himself as soon as he heard the door slam closed, signaling his wife's exit. They'd been on this rocky stage in their marriage for a really long time. He felt like it was getting nowhere, and like this sudden stage was beyond all possible repairs. He remembered how it used to be, when he lay beside her on the futon in earlier months and smiled at her sleeping form. She was definitely something to admire- she had that traditional look, those porcelain cheeks, those small, pursed lips, that straight body, her long nose… she was very attractive. When he first saw her that night, covered in blood, he couldn't care less about anything but what a witness she was. But after he had time to appreciate her in those first months of fake marriage, she turned out to be rather attractive.

Now, she was his source of longing, his source of desire and his source of heartache. He wanted things to be the way they were before. He didn't like this no-longer-new arrangement. He missed things the way they were before, when everything was normal. Their normal, quiet, gentle life.

He missed being able to touch her soft skin with the calloused pads of his fingers and watch her sigh as a reaction to his caress. She hadn't let him touch her in over five months. They hadn't made love in a year. Something was wrong in her life. He could feel it. Something was bugging her, and it made her turn away even from her own husband, who had lived with her for a year.

"Maybe things will get back to normal soon." He told himself. Then he scoffed at his stupidity and threw away the thought. He'd tried to make it better a million times, but she wouldn't follow through. It was like she was afraid of getting closer to him.

He walked to his room and lay down on the futon. They weren't even in the same room anymore, let alone the same bed. But maybe he'd have that dream again. He'd recently had a recurring dream that was extremely unclear, but he remembered the scent of jasmine, and a pair of sapphire eyes, and the feeling of a soft cheek against his. He always felt comforted in that dream, like everything would be all right, and everything was all right, and he would never have to worry about the cost of living again.

When he closed his eyes and fell asleep, the first thing he heard was a voice, like the tinkling melody of an angel's harp, whispering two words he'd never thought of in his life.

Soul mate…

**Well?** What do you think so far? I hope it's good enough for this site... Review, please if it seems worth it, i'll post the next chapter in **two days**.

This isn't a cry for reviews, by the way, I just need to know that i've attracted enough interest. If not, i'll do a bit of editing.

After chapter one, they get a LOT longer, so don't lose hope :)

Thanks for reading,

Mizuume


	2. Soul Mate

**Hey** guys :)

This is chapter one of Only You. Not many reviews, but i'm impressed with the amount of hits and alerts. Thanks for those who commented

I have to warn you guys. **This chapter is rate M**. There's curse words, sexual situations, and sexual undertones. This is all about Kaoru's entry into the story, and trust me, it's not pretty. You'll understand why it's so bad when you read it. There's a reason for it all, and it wouldn't be right if i didn't have this kind of stuff in the kind of situation Kaoru's in. I've warned you, so if anybody complains about it and gets me in trouble i'll bombard you with hate mail! Lol. I'm being honest here. It's not lemon or anything, it's all abuse, and i'd call it lime instead. So if you can't handle it, just read the first part and the last part and wait for the next chap.

Thanks

**Chapter One**

**Soul Mate**

**By Mizuume**

Kenshin walked down the dark path, lit only by the moon and the few kerosene lamps that hung elaborately by iron, western-styled stands. Winter was overtaking Autumn at a fast pace, and a light layer of snow already embraced the peaks of the higher mountains. He tightened his haori overcoat and walked on. Concrete abodes lay on either side of the road he walked on, all of them bordered by a wall of rock, some more intricately designed than others. It was obvious the big city people lived differently. A plot surrounded by high concrete walls with great wooden doors, a huge yard, and a concrete house would not be easy to own, let alone in Tokyo. He felt very odd in this neighborhood. But, Katsura had ordered him to look around for Hiruma Gohei there. Apparently, his place was rumored to be beyond this neighborhood. He was to find him, demand information on the whereabouts of his captives, and kill him. Lord Okubo would not rest, let alone even think of assisting the Ishin Shishi until all the captives were released.

The silence was overpowering. He heard his scuffing footsteps like beats of a gong in his ears. His breathing sounded heavier than it really was. Every single sense he possessed was more alert than usual. That was why he sprang so suddenly into action upon hearing voices a few roads away. The voices got clearer as he ran closer. He stopped at an intersection and looked around a bend, hidden crudely by the wall at his side. He looked just in time to see two men, both assassins, pulling their bloodied swords from the bodies of dead policemen. He had received a description of Gohei during his meeting with Katsura. Neither of these two were him, without a doubt.

"That was easier than I thought." One said in a clear, sharp voice.

"Because for once, Yuudai, you're not drunk."

"Shut up."

"Hah… You might as well get drunk, anyways. Remember that girl he brought in two months ago?"

"He brought in a lot of girls in the past two months. They're locked up and waiting for ransoms to be paid."

"Yeah. Well, remember the one with blue eyes?"

" You mean the one wearing that silk kimono? I swear, if you wanna know what every whore should look like, take a look at her, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah."

"What about her?"

"She's the girl Gohei been looking for. The Kamiya." Kenshin's mind awoke at the mention of Gohei.

"Then that means…"

"Yeah." The man laughed. "Gohei was fucking furious when he found out."

"So she don't have anyone to pay her ransom and bail her out?"

"Nah. Gohei told me we couldn't let the girl free without taking something from her first, especially one responsible for his paralyzed thumb."

"Her sex, huh?" he asked, smiling lustfully. "I know what he's thinking, not letting her go."

"Far as I know, Gohei's long taken it from her. But he said we could join in. For the past two months, he's had her in her own room, and he's let the other guys do all kinds of things with her. Trying to get Lord Okubo to pay the ransom wouldn't work, so he said we'd all give her a piece of hell. He says maybe scaring her a little will make him wanna get her out."

The other went quiet for a moment, processing everything his comrade had told him. Then he frowned. "Damn! You mean the other guys have gotten a taste but we haven't?"

"Calm down, bastard." He said angrily. Then he broke into a smile. "Tonight's our night."

"Exactly what do we get to do with her?"

The guy shrugged. "Whatever we want. Fuck her, cut her, burn holes in her… anything he'll let us do. Heck, Hirotoko even carved his name into her thigh. Nice n deep. At least, that's what I was told. Sometimes, Gohei is very generous to us guys."

Kenshin couldn't help but wince. It sounded just too cruel. And for a young girl…

"Well then, lets go! If we lose our time standing here talking, we're not gonna get it back, you know!"

They went off, and Kenshin followed. The chase began.

He had followed them through countless streets until they reached the edge of the forest. In the darkness, they melted into the dense mass of trees, so randomly Kenshin wondered of they knew were they were going. He broke into a run with his light footsteps and slowed when he caught sight of them far ahead, moving with confidence and precision. Obviously, they very well knew where they were going. It seemed like hours before they got to the place, but Kenshin stared at the watched and realized it had only been 30 minutes. He let the men trail slightly ahead as he stopped and stared. The trees were thickly arranged, but through them, he could see the place where Gohei lived, ate, slept, and plotted his sick expeditions. He watched through the windows with disgust about a dozen men drank, laughed, and flirted self assuredly with the women around them. He had nothing to worry about when it came to sneaking in. He'd paid a visit to his boss before he set off, where he got his black wig, something to cover his scarred cheek, and the usual colored gi and hakama these men wore for recognition. Shrouded in darkness, he blended in perfectly with the others.

He tried to look natural as he followed the others down the path, and thankfully, no one suspected his true motives.

As soon as he got inside, cheap sake and cigar smoke assaulted his senses. Women were handcuffed to the narrow western styled pillars, their heads lowered to divert attention. All the same, men came to them and sneered into their ears as they tried to shift their kimono this way and that for a glimpse of a shoulder or an elbow or some such thing. Kenshin did notice, though, how determinedly they restrained themselves. Obviously, they were captives taken for money; their ransoms would be paid soon, and the families would want them back unharmed, and definitely undefiled. So they resisted.

The two men Kenshin first saw trudged carefully up the stairs. Through a series of hallways they went along with a group.

"I can't believe it took us two fuckin months to get something from that girl." A man said.

"Shut up, Hirotoshi. You're about to go in there and get your time in there now. The other guys aren't. All right?"

"That damned Gohei didn't have to make us wait so long. Have you seen the girl? She's an absolute beauty!"

"Has the weirdest eyes I've ever seen."

"Of course I've seen the girl. Beautiful as she is, she's just a girl. All I care about is that this time I'll be screwing someone as innocent as innocent gets. She's not like one of em whores…"

"Not one of em ugly whores, you mean. She's too pretty to be a whore."

"We know she's pretty. What matters is that before she came here, she was a virgin. It's nice to take a taste knowing she's not stale from being bitten already."

"Gohei already took a bite. Now shut up with this stupid crap."

"And besides, the rest of us had a bit for ourselves, too."

"I mean long term. You know what I'm talking about."

Then they opened a door. The first thing Kenshin smelled was blood, sweat and semen. But then, strangely enough, he noticed the faintest scent of jasmine. In the middle of the room was a long, high wooden table. On it was a girl with her face turned away from him as a man, currently doing to her what a rapist does, whispered explicates into her ear. Her kimono was black and embroidered with white and blue flowers, although below the hip some of the flowers were stained a rusty, reddish brown. It hung open at her hips, but all there was to be revealed was covered by the man's hakama clad hips. She was still wearing tabi on her feet and her hair was blue black and glossy. It was long, surrounding her head and trailing off the sides of the table. Her body jerked along with the man's movements. He could see her fisted hands tighten and blood seep between her fingers. The man seized her shoulders, demanding some kind of reaction, but she kept her head turned away, giving no one a look of her face or the pain in her eyes. The man threw her back down onto the hard wood. Her hair flipped across her face. When it was over, he withdrew. Another man came along. Still no sign of Gohei. Kenshin found it harder and harder to watch. Thankfully, The man he'd been expecting entered the room after a few minutes and he could focus on his job instead of the rape. Kenshin readied himself, placing a hand on the hilt of his katana, but his sword was forgotten when he saw what Gohei carried. To his horror, the man held in his two hands a tray filled with red glowing coals.

"Your time's up, so get the hell off." He said, setting the tray aside. The man withdrew and got back to his feet.

"She ain't so responsive tonight." He said. "The bitch."

"Why?"

"Dunno. She just won't do anything. Like fucking a dead person, lying with her."

Gohei nodded and smiled. "Let's give her some alcohol. Liven her up a little." He grabbed a vial from the counter and pressed the opening to her lips. She turned her head away from it, and as he persisted, she resisted. He ended up having to grab her by her hair to keep her from moving. He held her nose between his two fingers and smiled. It was only a matter of time before she'd have to take a breath with her mouth. She struggled, and he only squeezed her nose harder. After about a minute, she couldn't take it anymore. She gasped for air and only received alcohol. She choked on it and started coughing. Gohei took the opportunity to give her more. When he was satisfied that she'd taken enough, he set the vial on the counter again and gave her thigh a pinch. Kenshin could almost feel her dread as Gohei got ready to have his turn with her.

He cast the room's occupants an anticipative glance and then climbed up to the table. He mounted her, smiling maliciously as he suspended his body over hers. Then, without warning, he seized her hair and pulled her up to his level. She kept her eyes averted, and even when he forced her to look at him with a hand on her jaw, her eyes stayed on her bare knees as if her pupils, like lead balls, were weighing them down. Kenshin was at an angle where all he could see was the perfect paleness of her skin and the angles of her defined cheekbones. He was surprised to discover that he wanted to see her face. Everyone spoke of her as being an absolute beauty. It had been a while since he'd seen anything that took his breath away.

"Hirotoshi." Gohei commanded.

"Yes?"

"I'll let you go next if you do me a favor."

"What will it be?" He asked eagerly.

To everyone's surprise, Gohei ripped the knife from his hip and slashed her obi clean through. Then, with almost savage desire, he tore her kimono open. His men cheered and taunted him to go further, but Gohei kept the breast bindings in place. Kenshin felt a lump form in his throat when he saw that her stomach was already marred with burn marks and infected cuts. The girl once again turned her face away.

"Bring me the coals." He commanded. Hirotoshi walked towards him with the tray and placed it on the table beside her head. Gohei took one coal between the metal tongs and placed it slowly on the girl's revealed stomach. He placed another between her collarbones. The girl tensed up. More blood dripped from her fisted hands. Then Gohei started. Kenshin knew she was trying to keep calm from the way her body was tensed and the way her fists tightened. Steam rose from the coals. She let out one short, tiny gasp at the way Gohei's sudden jerk had caused a coal to fall on its side and destroy new skin, and that was too much for Kenshin to handle. He cracked.

"That's it!" He growled, ripping his sword from his sheath. He pointed it threateningly at Hirotoshi, his mind buzzing with fury. "Drop them. If you don't wanna die, then drop them. And you." He whispered coldly, swishing his sword to Gohei. "Get off of her." He clenched his jaw as Gohei smiled challengingly and left the body on the table. "Faster!" He ordered.

The girl lifted her head towards him. Blue eyes lingered on violet eyes. Then Kenshin stared into those blue eyes, and it was as if the whole world was holding its breath.

**A/N**

See what i mean? It's full of lime. But now you'd understand - if i didn't include the limey stuff, it wouldn't be real. Wanna tell me what you think? Review, please :)

Mizuume


	3. Kaoru

Hey guys,

I wanna say THANK YOU to all who reviewed, all who favorited, and all who alerted. Encouragement does a lot.

Sorry I was so late with this one... i've recently moved from the Caribbean to Egypt, so I've moved to the permanent apartment. I had a lot of stuff to do and 450 boxes to open. Thanks for waiting :)

**Chapter Two**

**Kaoru**

**By Mizuume**

"That's it!" He growled, ripping his sword from his sheath. He pointed it threateningly at Hirotoshi, his mind buzzing with fury. "Drop them. If you don't wanna die, then drop them. And you." He whispered coldly, swishing his sword to Gohei. "Get off of her." He clenched his jaw as Gohei smiled challengingly and left the body on the table. "Faster!" He ordered.

The girl lifted her head towards him. Blue eyes lingered on violet eyes. Then Kenshin stared into those blue eyes, and it was as if the whole world was holding its breath.

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Everyone froze and looked his way. "Who the hell are you?" Hirotoshi asked waveringly. Kenshin's eyes were still on the girl. He didn't respond, too caught up with the level of beauty he saw before him. Large, lustrous, trusting, willing, sapphire eyes. Long, silky hair the color of a raven's wing. Pouty rosebud lips. Creamy skin and a heart-shaped face. 'She's amazing…' he thought lamely. But then he scoffed. She was more than amazing. She was beautiful beyond reason. There was something about her that kept his attention on her even when he tried to resist it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Well?"

Kenshin bit back a roar and pulled his eyes forcefully away from that tearstained face. "You'd better start making excuses right now." He growled. "And let this girl go."

Gohei laughed at him. "And who orders me to let this million yen captive free?"

"Hitokiri Battousai." The words echoed in the minds of the room's occupants. It brought confusion, and fear, and anger, but to that one exhausted, pained individual, it was more than just questions and worries.

'He's a killer. A legendary killer. So why… why is he here to save me? And if he was sent here to save me, why the hell did he take such a long time to do it?' She smirked sarcastically. 'Maybe he was taking notes for Lord Okubo that he was too stupid to write from memory.'

Gohei's face paled as the real Battousai drew himself up to his full height, a short height, but it still seemed like he was the tallest one in the room. His eyes rested on Gohei's, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Those eyes were the most piercing he'd ever encountered.

"This is Hitokiri Battousai. Gohei Himura. His last name's Himura!" One of them insisted, confused by the concept of two Battousais.

"His last name is Hiruma. Not Himura."

They looked at Gohei. His trembling stopped as he tried to hold on to his last shred of dignity. Kenshin flicked his sword in Gohei's direction and let it linger at his neck. The tip pierced into his first layer of skin.

"Get those coals off of her. Right now." He demanded fiercely, his voice low.

Gohei laughed at him again. He gave Hirotoshi that look and watched as the man smiled and used the tongs to press the coals harder into the girl's perfect skin. The cry of pain the girl let out was all he needed to get ticked off. All reason, all restraint, all control was lost.

His arm rose high into the air and slashed the first thing that came into view, and that happened to be Hirotoshi. The sword ran diagonally from the right side of his head to the left side of his ribcage. His bandage fell free from his cheek and the black wig fell from his head, revealing the red hair as it flew through the air with his movements and his cross-shaped scar. The men fell still with fear. Soon, there was commotion in the room as they all ran at Kenshin simultaneously and he fought them all off. A number of heartbeats passed. Suddenly, there was a pile of limb-mangled men on the floor. He lurched at Gohei, who had since then left the coals alone on the girl and pulled out his weapon. Kenshin saw her throw the black, burning masses aside and close her kimono over the horrific wounds.

"Hiruma Gohei, prepare to meet your death!" He called, using his last second to perform the customary announcement.

'Aah. I see. He wasn't here to do anything but assassinate Gohei.' Somehow, the thought embedded a sweet, sadistic pleasure in her fast-beating heart.

As Kenshin steadied himself for a Ryu Kan Sen, Gohei pulled out his sword. Kenshin came down on him with amazing speed and executed a cut Gohei would never forget. The two leapt apart again and resheathed their swords. When the enemy unsheathed and ran forward, it wasn't hard for him to launch himself into the air and out of his sword strike's way. Kenshin came down on him, and when his strike had ended, staring towards the girl who was apparently getting ready to fight, he came faultily forward on one disobedient leg and Gohei whipped his sword around, plunging it into his enemy's shoulder. He stopped dead in his tracks. He winced as Gohei let out a triumphant laugh, and the girl on the sidelines gasped. Kenshin pressed his hand to the wound with a shaky intake of breath. He was usually more efficient than this. He usually never got hurt. Gohei Hiruma did have skill of his own, but he'd never suspected it'd be enough to harm him. He'd just have to overpower it even further and work his best. His eyes hardened all of a sudden. He got into a battle stance like nothing had happened and growled deeply under his breath. Gohei felt his hand shake just as the girl got ready to fight, too. Kenshin's thoughts took a questioning turn, but he brushed them aside so he could focus on his fighting.

They locked swords again, this time in stronger, faster, angrier strikes. Gohei was quite a match for Kenshin, but probably more because his enemy kept looking back on the girl and getting distracted by her naturalness with the crouch of a ready swordsman than because of his personal level of skill. As Gohei tried to block him off, he sidestepped and slid his sword away. But Gohei ran at him, his sword raised at such an awkward angle Kenshin had to use more than instinct to block it. His attacks were getting more and more predictable, but also more and more powerful. His increase in speed was amazing. As Gohei got ready to deal Kenshin another blow and Kenshin got ready to counter it, jasmine filled his nostrils, followed by wisps of thick, black hair impairing his sight. The feather soft tips brushed against his eyes, much to his anger, and he closed them as a reflex.

When he opened his eyes again, his jaw dropped. The girl was holding Gohei's sword in her own two hands. She had disarmed him with such great speed he missed it when it happened. But because the girl was so exhausted, and because Gohei was quite skilled himself, he managed to catch her off guard and grab the blade of his sword again, only to be disappointed when he saw that she was more careful than that, and wouldn't be brought down by a simple grasp on her weapon.

She pulled the sword away, ripping it from his hold and slicing his palms, and when he rose up to meet his female opponent's eyes with his own, he saw fury. It was a fury so intense it terrified him. Her eyes burned with hate and her lower jaw grinded against her upper one. She swung the sword hard, seeing that Kenshin wouldn't fight from his fear of accidentally hitting her. She aimed with the dull edge of his sword and hit him in the back of the neck, sending him stumbling forward. Kenshin knew the exact moment had come, and strengthened the grip on his sword's hilt. When he brought his sword arm forward, metal made contact with flesh. By the time the fight was over, Gohei lay in pieces on the floor.

Kenshin hadn't fought a large number with this force and determination in a long time. His attacks had been filled with an almost animalistic fury, and his death toll had risen to more than intended. Returning to contact with his surroundings, he looked up at the wonder before him. Her legs were parted slightly in her pose, her hands were suspended in the air, still holding Gohei's sword, her kimono opened up to reveal her strong, slender legs, the neckline was low due to her fighting, her hair was in terrible disarray, and her face and neck glistened with sweat and grime. Her face was almost gray with exhaustion, her lips were pale, and she panted uncontrollably. But she was still hypnotically beautiful.

"I… I think I'm going to…" She couldn't say any more. The lack of everything a normal human being required in the past couple months had ganged up on her. She stumbled forward, letting out a sigh of relief when she was able to let her muscles loose, and sailed towards the ground.

Her savior hurriedly approached her and caught her in his arms. She was wide awake, but even paler with tire. "What's your name?" he asked in a kind voice.

"Kaoru Kamiya…" she answered weakly. He pulled a bloodless sash from one of the men's hakamas and tied it around her waist. The now useless obi remained on the floor. She was too tired to ask questions and too worn out to care for whom he was, but he offered his name anyway.

"I'm Kenshin Himura." His gentle voice was balm to her ears after hearing so many cold, explicit whispers follow her pain and degradation.

"So you're the real Hitokiri. Not Gohei?" She asked, seeming neither disgusted nor pleased by it.

"No. Gohei was a fake. I am the real Hitokiri."

Kaoru managed a smile for him, and that one smile was enough to show that even if he killed for a living, she didn't care. He'd saved her life. That's what mattered most.

"Were you here to assassinate him?"

"Yeah, but I also meant to release the captives. Do you think they need help?"

"Getting out of their bindings is the only thing they need help with. They didn't have anything bad done to them, and I'd suggest not letting them all out at once. They'll be hysterical."

He smiled at her tough talk, and suddenly felt guilty. "I'm sorry I took such a long time to do anything." He said, scratching the back of his head. "You see, I was undercover, and executing an undercover attack means I have to wait for the right moment. And even when I started attacking, it wasn't at the right moment."

"Then why didn't you do it at the right moment?" she asked.

He looked her directly in the eyes. "A man can only be patient to a certain extent, and when the line is passed, there's nothing he can do. What they were doing was inhuman. So I thought, screw the undercover crap and get going _right now_."

"I understand what you mean," she said, standing unevenly as if she was trying to hide an injury. "I was like that, but my situations were just childish arguments with my boarders. It was never anything like this."

"It'd be better if you kept it that way." Kenshin said to her, smiling.

She went quiet for a while, just staring at the bloodied table she'd been tortured on and thinking deeply.

"What's wrong?" Kenshin asked after a while.

"Nothing," she said, a ghost of a smile forming on her lips. "I was just wondering why the legendary assassin from the revolution would still be taking orders from the boss, and spending his time rescuing female captives from sick men like Gohei."

His brow rose. "You obviously have no shame when it comes to asking about other people's lives." He said sarcastically.

"Hey," she countered, "I can say whatever I want. You were the one who decided to just stand there while they were burning coals on me and screwing around."

"I told you before why I had to do that, and I apologized, too!"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to worry a thing about me or feel guilty about it- I was already used to getting tortured the way they were doing it, so it doesn't matter if they do it just a few more times!" She growled sardonically.

He grimaced, feeling the guilt flood into him as easily as water would. He never would have left her behind in their hands. He knew that. But why the hell did he wait so long to free her? 'We're not friends or anything like that. She's just a stranger. Who I happened to save by doing my job. That's all.' He told himself.

"It doesn't matter." She said. "At least you actually did something."

"Yeah, but I really am sorry…" he began to say, trailing off when he realized how pathetic he probably appeared.

"It's okay." She said, suddenly blinking away a hot tear. "So aren't you gonna go off on your way and tell the boss you killed him?" She asked, trying to cover up her tears.

"And leave you here by yourself? You must be crazy."

She slid down to her knees against the wall, still staring at the blood on the table. Some of it was new. Some of it was two months old. The back of her knees hurt like fire in her bones, but she'd carried the wounds for so long she barely noticed the pain anymore. Her center still throbbed, but she didn't feel it. Her stomach was caved in and aching, but she didn't notice it. She could feel this man watching her. That's what she noticed.

"So are you gonna sit in here for the rest of your life or are we gonna get out that window and leave?" He asked.

"I can't go back." She said suddenly.

He frowned. "Why?"

"There's no way I can go back into my old life and show my face again. Look at what's been done." She gestured to the bloody table. "I don't think I'll be able to face anyone again. They'll think of me as less than a woman for being defiled this way… for being used this way. They'll think I'm worthless and dishonored, or even cursed if I'm that lucky. No. I can't go back."

"Your parents won't hate you."

"What parents?"

"Your siblings?"

"What siblings?"

"The rest of your family?"

"Don't have one."

"Do you have anything to live for?" He asked, wondering if he'd be able to convince her or if he'd have to drag her through that window and drop her off by the police.

She stared at the bloody table again. "I do…" she murmured. "I have a surrogate family."

"Do you think this will change their love for you?"

She groaned angrily. "I don't know! I'd like to think nothing will stop them from loving me, but the difference is, these people chose to love me. It's not like a real family that was born to love me. When their care was made by choice, it can just as easily disappear by choice."

"If you call them your family, then they must still love you. They're probably pulling their heads of hair out with worry right this second. So come on. Let's get out of here."

"But…" He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, and suddenly she felt the pain from her wounds, like the lingering of a wave's crest finally crashing. It was as if she'd woken from her daze and could feel the remains of the torture again. She felt the pain all over, in all the bruises, all the cuts, all the burns, and she collapsed.

"What's wrong?" Her savior asked in a panicked voice.

She held an arm across her stomach and bent over, trying to control the waves of pain that so suddenly began to pulse through her. She gasped for air and clenched her fists to keep from screaming. The backs of her knees burned with the sudden movement. Everything burned. She wanted to sink into the floor, curl up and never come out again to deal with this madness.

"Is it your wounds?" he asked.

She could only nod as she clenched her jaw and sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

"Let's get out of here. I can take you home." He took her hand and pulled her gently to her feet as she winced and sank her fingernails into his arms.

"Not yet... let it wane away," she whispered.

"Okay." He sat her down on a nearby chair and made her elevate her legs.

"Where does it hurt?" He asked, not realizing his hand was still rested heavily on her knee.

"Everywhere," she whispered, throwing her head back and letting out a restrained gasp at the pain.

"Okay… what's stopping you from walking?" he asked.

"I can walk," she said, wincing, "Just not very well. I'll have to wait a minute." She separated the fold of her kimono to her knee, and even in the horror of it all, Kenshin couldn't help but notice the perfectly shaped calf and the strong, slender knees. She tried to show him what was hurting her, but she couldn't stand the pain, and instead pointed to the back of her knees. He got down to his knees and stared up at what she was referring to. The sight shocked him beyond belief. There, on the back of her knees, were two vicious gashes, looking almost bone deep. The skin surrounding the gashes was blackened and weeping, and blood still oozed from inside. The edges of the cut were an odd, pasty color and looked like they'd mold into the shape of his finger at a single touch, like fresh wasabi or miso paste. The flesh was dead, and had been dead for a while. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Pure and simple, it was sick. Everything that had been done to her was sick already, but this…

"Why did they do this to you?" he asked, his mouth parted slightly as he visually examined the gruesome wounds.

"They didn't want me to run away. They made those gashes so I'd be crippled. For a while, it worked, but now I can walk. It just... hurts. But it's a dull pain, not like it was when it was fresh."

"It's almost inhuman..." he murmured, still taken by shock. He felt his heart beat more quickly as he slowly touched her infected flesh. Her knee flinched away and she let out a gasp.

"Don't touch it!" she cried, suddenly feeling hot tears on her cheeks. Kenshin froze, his arms suspended in the air with surrender. Had he pressed a panic button? He watched her heave, her forehead on her knees, her fists clenched over the silk kimono's hem.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'll get something for you. A bandage and salve."

As he stood, he felt a sudden jerk on his sleeve and turned, seeing Kaoru's hand fisted in his red gi. Her head was bowed and she was still reserved, but he understood. She didn't want to be left alone in a place like this, even for a second, especially with more abusers just a floor below. He gently untangled her fingers from his clothing and walked slowly from the room. He ran to the next room, lined with cabinets and cupboards. Every few seconds, he'd run into the hallway and look towards the door where Kaoru was waiting to look for any disturbances. He was unusually worried about her. She was just another girl, just another person in the world with him, but he felt an odd possessiveness over her. He finally found the gauze bandages, and then a green paste that smelled a lot like the treatment he was given for sword wounds. He rushed towards the room and threw the door open.

"You have everything?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Yes, I do. Now, elevate that leg again."

She obeyed and laid her legs on the chair. He could feel her nervousness in the air as he approached her knees with the green salve on his fingertips. He wiped it heavily onto her wounds, but as soon as it touched her skin, she cried out and threw her head back. The pain was like nothing she'd ever before imagined. It was like he was loading her gash with salt and vinegar. Kenshin placed a comforting hand on the cap of her knee and spread it further. When it was over, she was still gasping as the solution worked at her wound, even after he had taken his hands from her and placed the bandages on her knees. He felt terrible to see her suffer so much, but it was a cruel to be kind situation, and she was still a stranger to him, both foreign and unimportant. When she could finally stand, he led her to the wide window and slid it open.

"You'll be okay…" he whispered. "I'll take you home."

"But … Do you think we can actually get there?"

He turned and smiled warmly at her. "Home… Yes. You will get home. You don't have to worry about these guys anymore." He felt a rush of sympathy pass through him. He pulled her away from the room and through the window. To his surprise, she wasn't shaky with heights at all. She leapt from the windowsill to the ledge with absolute grace and confidence, marred only slightly by her limping from the wounds. He pulled her along, and before he could even begin telling her how to get to the ground properly, she was there. He was definitely impressed. When he leapt down after her, he hastily grabbed her hand and pulled her away through a route in the forest, away from Gohei's mansion and his torture. The backs of her knees had practically crippled her before, that being the original intention, but she could feel herself getting better and experiencing less pain, and she knew she could run if she wanted to. She followed wearily but somehow managed to keep up with his fast pace, their breaths exhaling from their mouths and causing wisps of white steam to appear. The chilly autumn air was getting colder, and he worried for her, as she wore no more than a kimono.

"I'll take you to a police station. They'll know what to do, and they'll escort you home."

Kaoru nodded, but it was clear that she couldn't go much further. Gohei fed her something akin to a pathetic half-meal a day, and the energy had been seeped from her long ago. How she survived the torture and rape without passing out, she failed to know. But now, the exhaustion from the past two months came back and she fell to her knees. Kenshin's grip on her tightened.

"You all right?" He asked her. Her breathing came shallow and ragged.

"Kamiya-san?"

She fell forward and lay sprawled on the ground, suddenly in silent tears. Kenshin pulled her up and tried to keep her walking, but she almost passed out. In the end, he picked her up and held her light, hourglass form in his arms as he walked. Carrying her was effortless, though it did slow him down, and they got to the police station later than he'd aimed. When he finally arrived, his sword arm ached like hell and both he and Kaoru had lost a good amount of blood.

As soon as he walked in, Kaoru looked up and surveyed the space.

"Tae!" She cried almost mournfully. A woman standing by the desk turned and gasped.

"Kaoru!" She ran towards them. Kenshin took two staggering steps forward, his knees shaky and his wound playing up on the rest of his body, and collapsed.

"Are you all right?" Tae gasped. She ran up to them as Kaoru disengaged herself from his arms and lifted his head. Tae hastily made Kenshin sit down in the waiting area. He tried to keep his head up, but it wouldn't obey. It seemed like his ponytail weighed him down. He leaned his head back against the wall, closed his eyes, and breathed.

"Are you feeling any better?" Kaoru asked him worriedly. He tried to fake a smile, but it ended up looking like a grimace.

"Just sit there and rest. The nausea will pass." Tae said. Then she looked at Kaoru, her eyes softened and watery. "I didn't think you'd ever come back, Kaoru," she murmured, holding her close. "I thought you were dead..."

"I'm all right, Tae. Don't worry." Kaoru closed her eyes and smiled as she patted the other woman's back. "I'm okay."

Just then, Kenshin let out another gasp of pain. Kaoru pulled away from Tae and moved towards him, ready to offer some of the comfort he'd given her before.

"You both need to get to the clinic," Tae said seriously.

"I know we do," she said almost silently. She lifted her arm to tuck a strand of hair wearily behind her ears, but her kimono sleeve slipped to her elbow, revealing the bruises and wounds scattered across her arm. Tae, upon seeing it, was ready to fall into a state of panic.

"Kami Sama!" She cried, surveying Kaoru's form and her bruised wrists. "What did they do to you in there…?"

Kaoru shook her head and leaned forward as if to throw up. But she didn't. Instead, she started trembling. Tae tried guiltily to cheer her up. "Oh… Kaoru, don't cry… Your students will be so happy to see you're back! They were all so worried."

Kenshin gave her a questioning glance from his slouched form. "Students?"

"Kao-chan owns and is master to a very prosperous dojo." Tae stated proudly. "Kamiya Kasshin Ryu."

Kenshin raised a brow. He felt a new, deep respect for the slip of a girl sitting beside him. That explained the muscles he could see in her arms and the ease of her escape from the mansion's second floor.

Kaoru lifted her head slightly and opened her mouth. It was obvious that she wanted to say something, but couldn't bring the words from her mouth. "Yahiko?" was all she could whisper.

"Oh, don't worry. I sent him to Kyoto to stay with the Oniwabanshu; everyone believed a cheerful Misao was exactly what he needs."

Kaoru smiled fondly, once again finding her voice. "It's just like Misao to stay cheerful through anything."

Kenshin raised his brow again. This girl certainly had her contacts. They were talking of the commander with such familiarity and closeness that it was obvious they were friends. The Oniwabanshu was considered a very powerful ninja group. He knew for a fact that Makimachi Misao, a person whom he'd never seen before, was the leader of the Kyoto branch. Apparently, this girl he barely knew had close ties with the ninja leader.

"Tanuki's finally back, I'm guessing?" A sardonic voice sounded. At those words, Kaoru's world crashed around her and her frustration took a terrifying peak. She looked up at the source of the words and shot him a glare. But when Kenshin looked up at him and the policeman looked down at him, the cigarette dangling from his thin, malicious lips fell to the ground.

"Battousai…"

"Saitou…"

Saitou Hajime quickly corrected his posture, ground his heel on his cigarette, and lit another. "Hn. I knew that Gohei wasn't the real Battousai. Of course, I never told the Lord Okubo, but now he will know."

Kenshin nodded wearily. "You're a police captain now?"

"Yeah."

"Honorable job for a Mibu Wolf."

"My wife didn't appreciate such a dishonorable job as the one I had before."

Kenshin suppressed a laugh. The poor woman, getting her leg shackled to this… stiff… he couldn't find a single word that would sum up the man in front of him. Saitou was evil, pure and simple. His wife would have to be just as evil to stand him day after day.

"But on to more important things... The girl is back? Where did he find you, tanuki chan?"

Kaoru growled at him and stood. "If you call me that one more time I swear I'll—"

"Tanuki?" Saitou teased. Kaoru tried to lurch herself forward, but Tae hoisted her back by the waist, and the sudden pain convulsed brutally through her lithe body, so much she almost didn't want to jump that bastard of a man who'd always insulted her.

"Kaoru, you don't want to hurt yourself further…" She warned.

"Now the tanuki is hurt? How in the world do all the ugly ones get hurt so often?"

Kaoru whacked the man in the side of the head before Tae could stop her. Kenshin smiled ruefully. She was too feisty for her own good…

Saitou rubbed his head. "You're pretty powerful. But that is expected from ugly tomboys such as yourself."

Kaoru jumped from her seat and hooked her arms around his neck, trying to pull him down. Tae got up that instant and tried to pull them apart. "STOP IT! You two are acting like childish rivals!" She cried. She pulled them apart with ease that was incredibly unusual, seeing that Kaoru was usually so strong. "Kaoru, sit down or you will make it worse. Saitou, your wife is sitting in your office. She would be very disappointed to hear that you taunted Kaoru while she's INJURED, and didn't stop when her rebuttals clearly had an affect on her."

Saitou folded his arms. "It's not like I care."

Tae smirked. "Tokio san!" She called. Saitou, horrified by the aspect of a frustrated Tokio, muffled Tae's calls with his hand.

"My wife does not do nicely when she's disappointed with me." He warned.

"Well, then, apologize to Kaoru."

Saitou raised an eyebrow and changed the subject. "Battousai, I will need the details of who died this night, where Gohei's body is, and the events that led up to the tanuki's rescue. Then, take that girl straight to the clinic. After that you can do whatever Katsura wanted you to do for all I care. But don't ask me for boarding favors or I'll just laugh in your face."

Kaoru scowled. "Saitou!" She growled. She tried to hit him, but Tae, once again, pulled her back.

"Calm down and wait patiently. God, Kaoru, even when you get kidnapped you remain the same dangerous explosive!"

"LISTEN to me, Saitou!" She began.

"That's Hajime-san to you, Tanuki!" She growled at him. "See? She's not a woman. She's an animal. A raccoon." Saitou continued.

"LISTEN! I've had to take TOO much crap from people in these past couple months, and I've had ENOUGH of it! I don't need any input from you!" Kaoru glowered at the floor.

Saitou's eyebrow quirked up at her response. So maybe he didn't know exactly what happened in there. She was still a stupid tanuki.

"I'm still a WHAT!?" Kaoru cried. He winced. Had he said that out loud?

Before Tae could restrain her, Kaoru tackled Saitou and pinned him to the ground. "Get off of me, you stupid tanuki!" He growled.

"You watch it!" She said, slamming her knee sharply into his arm despite the pain it caused her.

Saitou smirked and watched her coolly from the ground, keeping that smoking cigarette between his teeth. Kaoru glared at it and plucked it from his mouth. "Oh, go ahead," he said to her, "I've got plenty more." He patted his pocket.

Kaoru grinded her teeth and pulled the whole packet away before Saitou could see what was going on. His face fell. "Hah!" She held the cigarettes in front of his face for an instant and pulled the box away before he could reach for it. She placed it into her kimono shirt, glaring at him.

"Damned raccoon," Saitou cursed as he picked himself up and dusted off.

Kaoru stopped in her place and her hands turned into fists. She was uncontrollable because she'd HAD no control for such a long time. She couldn't very easily hold herself back. She was angry with him and angry with the world.

Saitou smoothed his hair, looked around to make sure no mystery witnesses were around to see him get beat by a little raccoon girl, and called for assistance, all the while shooting Kaoru various glares.

Kenshin, with some assistance from one of the policemen, followed Saitou into his office, and Tokio left to keep Kaoru and Tae company and give the two men some privacy. She was the same woman Kaoru had always known, soft spoken and tolerable to any kind of crap thrown her way, yet dangerous and artfully skilled to handle her husband. She was one that Kaoru could always trust, but she found herself unable to say anything about what happened in Gohei's hands. Somehow, it wasn't right.

"So, battousai…"

"It's Kenshin now, Saitou." He corrected.

Saitou gave him a sardonic glare and drummed his fingers on the table. "Do you really think I care?"

Kenshin pursed his lips and looked into his lap.

"Whatever. Listen to me. I need the details of what happened. That girl you saved is more important than you think. Her father, Koshijirou Kamiya, was one of Lord Okubo's comrades. He sacrificed his life for the Lord Okubo in the Seinan War when Kaoru was only fourteen, and he had promised to Koshijirou as he died that he'd protect and value his daughter. Kaoru is so important to him because of her father. People were going crazy searching for her. Nobody knew where she was. It was suspected that she was in Gohei's headquarters in Kyoto, seeing that Gohei is too careful to place her in his Tokyo hideout, but I'm guessing she was there the whole time. Knowing what happens to her is a big part of my job, so you need to give me the details."

Kenshin nodded. "I managed to sneak into Gohei's Tokyo headquarters. The men I followed had been talking about her the whole time, before I knew her. They talked about her like a pack of wolves dying to have a piece of the same raw meat. I was curious, so I managed to follow them to the room she was kept in. Some people were already in there…" he stopped, having difficulty in finding the words to describe what he'd seen.

"And?" Saitou said expectantly.

"They were… gang raping her. One man was in action as the others watched, and they took turns. It seems that for the past two months, that's what they'd been doing to her. Then, Gohei came out and performed some burn torture. I think I snapped. I engaged him in a swordfight, and shamefully, he's very skilled."

"You especially would be ashamed…" Saitou commented sardonically.

Kenshin glared at him before continuing. "When I was about to receive a hit, Kamiya-san blocked my way and caught the blade with her own hands. She managed to pull it from his hold, and I killed him, killing a lot of the room's occupants, too." He said. "I offered to bring her home."

Saitou sat still for a moment, idly turning a pen in his hand. He was frowning more deeply than usual.

"So, you're telling me this: Within the time it took for her to be rescued, she was being tortured and raped?"

Kenshin nodded vaguely, his mind caught up in images he wanted to expel forever.

Saitou sighed regretfully and laced his fingers together. "I would never admit this freely, but the tanuki means more to me than just a burden. When her father died, Tokio and I cared for her for a while, until she told us she could run the dojo alone. She's quite a determined one. She became important to Tokio, and as for me… I didn't see her much, but I could appreciate who she is. At first glance, she's rough around the edges. That's why I tease her."

"I don't happen to find her very rough around the edges, Saitou."

"I know she's attractive enough already. She spent a few months in my house and i was chasing away those stupid boys for a week. I'm talking about her etiquette. She's tomboyish, rough… but she's compassionate, and she cares deeply for others. She kind of grows on you after a while. Lord Okubo knew her since she was fourteen, and he is very fond of her."

"Is there a point in letting me know all of this?" Kenshin asked, covering up any interest in hearing more about her.

Saitou gave him a glare. "I'm saying that you rescued a very special girl. Lord Okubo will see to it that you are highly rewarded. Kamiya is violent and easily angered, but she has a wide soft streak. She cares deeply for others. Sometimes I think it's a special ability of hers to share someone else's pain."

"I don't know how, but I could tell since I first saw her."

"She's special. She's had to grow up too fast. Life hasn't been easy on her for a while." Saitou briefly bowed his head in both respect and gratitude, two things Kenshin never thought he'd ever receive from Saito, a Mibu Wolf. When he straightened, he looked him right in the eyes. "Thank you. But never tell a soul what I just did."

Kenshin smirked. "That's fine with me." But he knew in his mind that he would use it to blackmail Saitou someday.

When the two men finally emerged from the large, overbearing office, Kaoru saw, for the first time, a glint of sympathy in Saitou's eyes every time he looked her way.

He gestured to Kaoru. "You should… You should go to the clinic now. Get those burns checked." He swallowed hard. His voice was unusually raspy and low.

"Burns?" Tae exclaimed. "Kaoru, what the hell _have_ they been doing to you?"

Kenshin noticed how Kaoru's eyes had suddenly turned both glossy and red, and made a diversion. "We should go to the clinic now. Please summon a rickshaw, Tae dono."

As they entered the rickshaw, Kenshin closed his eyes to rest. His breathing became ragged as he pressed his fingers into the wound to test its fatality, and Kaoru kept fingering the painful, itching burns. Tae, being the motherly one she was, slapped both of their hands away from the wounds. Kenshin couldn't help but continue to look back and forth at the girl beside him, whose beauty and fire constantly attracted his sight.

As soon as Kaoru's kimono fell open, Megumi's eyes threatened to water. "Kami sama…" she whispered. Her eyes traveled over the horrible burns scarring Kaoru's usually perfect skin. "Kao-chan, what did those men do to you?"

Tae was at her side, shaking her head sympathetically. She couldn't imagine what pain her friend would have felt to endure such burns. Megumi and Tae both felt the same way for once. Their Kaoru, their seventeen-year-old Kaoru, had been treated this way by grown men. Tae's brow was permanently furrowed, Megumi had to bite her reddened lips to keep the tears from falling.

Kenshin, who was sitting in a corner of the room, his wound dressed and described by the lady doctor as 'very serious', eyed what the burns had become and let out a hiss of sympathy. He noticed that the attractive doctor's eyes were very sympathetic, but lacked in the same devastation in Tae's.

"Oh, when Sanosuke sees this…" Tae whispered.

Kaoru jerked up, but the pain was too much and she lowered her head to the pillow. "How's Sanosuke been?" she asked desperately.

Megumi shook her head. "He was suicidal. Couldn't pay the ransom, didn't know where Gohei took you, couldn't imagine what went on with you. You know how protective he is of you. His heart was a mess. He wouldn't stop looking for you, and he didn't eat or sleep…"

"It was like he turned into a ghost…" Tae added.

"I'll see him soon." She whispered, closing her eyes.

"No you won't, Kaoru-chan!" Megumi chided condescendingly. "Look at your wounds! Sanosuke will be so angry with me when he sees that I didn't give his Jou-chan proper treatment."

"But, Megumi-saaaaaaaan…"

Megumi felt her head for a fever. "This gallant, insolent child looks nothing like the teenager that was mercilessly tortured for the past few months. How do you do it?"

Kaoru felt for her kimono and wrapped the layers over her body again. She didn't answer.

"Your favorite rooster head can visit you in a couple days." Megumi said, using Kaoru's age-old pet name.

"I don't need you to monitor me." She said with a surprisingly acid voice.

Megumi stared down at her cold face. The girl had been through so much pain already; she wanted to make things easier. "I have my responsibilities, Kao chan, but because it's you I'm talking to, I'll have the apprentice take up my role for a few days with Dr. Genzai."

Kaoru let out a triumphant gasp and flopped onto the bed, her face in a wide, forced smile. Kenshin sighed from his corner of the room. He didn't think he would ever understand her oblivious optimism.

"I'll pack my things. You stay patient and try to contain your happiness. And you," she said, looking at Kenshin with her sharp brown eyes, "I'll thank you for everything later. Right now, though, could you carry her to the rickshaw despite that wound, or is it too much?"

He shook his head. "It isn't too much for me. This girl is light as a feather, and my wound won't hurt me too much," He answered as Kaoru spoke up again.

"I can _walk_."

"No you can't. Keep your head on that pillow. When I get back I'll give you a proper examination before we leave."

Kaoru glowered at her and caught Kenshin staring her way. She flashed him a nervous smile before turning to Tae and asking about the others. "Is everybody else all right? Keisuke?"

Tae's face fell. "Keisuke's moving. He got transferred to Izu, because his company was worried about him. He said since you were in Gohei's clutches and you hadn't been returned in ten days, you were as good as dead… I'm sorry, Kaoru-chan. There's nothing we can do about it now." Kaoru's smile fell again. This time it turned into a look of pain.

"He… he's still here though, right?"

"Hai." Tae nodded.

"I can talk him out of it…"

"There's no way they'll change their decision, Kaoru… I'm sorry, but he made a decision and his whole life here has come to a close. There's no turning back."

Megumi came back, holding a bag of her belongings in her hands. "Oh! I forgot… Sanosuke told me the other day that he'd be staying in your place. Keeping it fixed up."

Kaoru stared at the floor. "Good…" she whispered. "I'll see him tonight, then."

Megumi nodded. "And you…" she said to Kenshin.

He looked up. "Yeah?"

"Do you have a place to stay yet?"

"I'm only passing through. I'm going to an inn for the next few days."

"You can't go to an inn…" Kaoru said. "They won't take care of your wounds there."

He shrugged. "I'll take care of them myself."

"No you won't." Megumi said in her demanding voice. "That wound is worse than you probably believe. It's at risk of being infected. Kaoru-chan, you have extra space at the dojo, don't you?" Megumi asked.

"For the man who rescued me from that hellhole, I can spare a room." She said.

"I wouldn't want to get in the way… I'm a complete stranger and I'll be lying around in your house."

"Only for a few nights, then. Until Megumi gives you a proper medication."

He stopped to think. He could send a message to Katsura tonight and then meet up with him somewhere in town to figure out what to do… And he didn't bring much money with him. He nodded. "Around three nights."

"Then it's settled," Megumi said, smiling. She then banished everybody from the room so she could give Kaoru a proper examination.

"Is it bad?" Kaoru asked as she lay on the examination bed, spread-eagled so Megumi could get a proper look at everything.

She didn't say anything back, but instead kept the frown of fury on her brow and listed Kaoru's wounds and new disabilities on a spreadsheet with angry, careless strokes. She prodded around a little bit, asking Kaoru if it hurt and nodding at her gasps of pain. When it was over and Kaoru was again dressed, Megumi read out what she'd seen.

"Two gashes at the collarbones, one fractured wrist, countless burn wounds all over the body, several infected cuts on legs, thighs, and breasts, one sprained ankle, three abrasions at the throat, possibly from teeth, two bone-deep, viciously infected gashes at the back of the knees, and nine badly infected wounds around the feminine area." She finished off with a glint in her eyes. "What had they done to you?"

Kaoru briskly tied a sash at her waist. "Torture." She said bitterly, and she limped through the door.

Sanosuke's ears caught the sudden noise as soon as it happened. He was onto his third vial of Sake, so any noise he heard could be his imagination, but he couldn't trust his instincts. Not many people came to the dojo since Kaoru's disappearance. He winced. Whatever was going on in there… he wouldn't allow himself to think of it.

He heard the distinct noise again. A bell. One large brass bell, ringing over and over again. He dropped his vial and stood unsteadily, allowing himself to stagger into the yard. Of course, the sound he heard was real. He'd been missing his Jou-chan to death, and to drown his guilt and sorrow, he drank sake religiously. He'd taken alcohol to the point that he couldn't trust the true existence of any sound, movement, or memory he came across.

The bell continued to ring. Who would it be this time? A medic offering him ginseng or antidepressants? He rolled his eyes. They had come one too many times, asking for the lady of the house to sell things to. He wondered how Kaoru had dealt with them so calmly, because they seemed to come, several times a day, all offering different things. It irritated him to the point that he wouldn't open the door anymore, but he had that special feeling, so he wouldn't let whoever was visiting alone.

"Sanosuke, open the door!" Megumi demanded upon hearing his unsteady footsteps lead up to the door. He was probably standing still, staring at the textured wood, so drunk he couldn't remember how to open the door.

"Oi! Kitsune, what are you doing bothering me at this time of night?" he asked, his voice slurred.

When Kaoru heard the lock being undone, she made Kenshin put her down so she could stand for herself. She felt heavy anticipation, anxiety, nervousness and relief all at once. When the door began to open, her heart hammered.

Sanosuke had expected only Megumi to be at his door, with soap, medication, food, and the intention to sweep through the house and make sure he was still far from dying of grief, but when he opened the door and instead saw that precious girl standing before him, her eyes resting on his in that memorable way, even he couldn't give words to the relief he felt.

"Jou chan!" He blurted out with relieved surprise. She gave him her familiar smile, though it was slightly broken, and ghosted into his outstretched arms. As soon as they were touching, she dragged him closer and pressed her face into his chest. They both sank to their knees and stayed like that for a long time, their tears falling onto each other's shoulders.

"I love you, Jou Chan," he said, the way he'd always said it to let her know she was his best friend, the light in his sky and the one he cared for the most.

"And I love you, Tori Atama," she whispered, smiling as she let him know the same thing. Kenshin didn't think they were romantically involved, but they were, without a doubt, the best of friends.

He smiled and looked past her to greet the others, but kept his tight hold on her shoulders to keep her close. "Who's this?" He asked inquiringly, gesturing to Kenshin.

"That would be Kenshin Himura. He rescued Kao-chan from Gohei." Megumi said.

Sano gave him a thankful glance before inviting everyone inside.

Kaoru passed Kenshin a smile over her shoulder. "I'll show you around." She said.

"No way, Jou-chan, you're not walking around anymore tonight!" Sanosuke promptly stepped forward and swept her into his arms, smiling all the way.

"How the hell do you expect me to show the guest around while you're carrying me like this?"

"I'll be your little wheelchair. Just go ahead and point out all the rooms, and I'll go where you want me to."

Kaoru laughed, from sheer joy at reuniting with her best friend, and Kenshin couldn't help but laugh, too. Sanosuke planned on taking her in his arms from room to room as she pointed at one or two things and explained her way of living. Yes, these people were both unusually strange and confusing.

Sanosuke opened the door, and Kenshin raised his brow when he stepped inside. The ceilings were high, making the entry room feel cool and airy. The floor was polished and rich, with tatami running down the center of the hallway. She let Sanosuke support her as she showed her guest around, first showing him the kitchen, which was huge in comparison to his smaller one at home. Their dining room was just outside the kitchen, in the center of the house, so it had no windows. Down the hall were five bedrooms to the left, and an extra one to the right along with the study and the living room. She obviously lived rich, at least in Kenshin's mind. Sanosuke kept making a joke out of her effort to tour him through the place by twirling her around or walking backwards or standing still when she wanted him to go to a certain room.

"You're the worst wheelchair I've ever had," she mumbled irritably.

Everybody let out a laugh when Sanosuke deliberately dropped her, from a lower height, saying, "If you don't want to take up my nice offer, FINE! You can stay right here and do the tour but there's no way in hell you're getting up and walking around!"

She glared at him and got to her feet, rolling her eyes when she tried to escape and he only picked her up.

"Damn you."

"Just get on with it. I won't make any more mistakes."

"I'd rather walk."

"Too bad! You're not walking anymore."

"Okay, dad."

"I'm not your dad."

"Okay, dad."

"Damnit, Kaoru!"

She merely burst into laughter and tried to get her 'wheelchair' to move in the right direction.

"I have a dojo too," she said proudly, showing him the building from her outdoor walkway, having to reach over and slide the door open from Sanosuke's arms to do so. "My father established the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu style before I was born. I continued it after he died, and it's been going pretty well so far."

"What's it all about?" Kenshin asked.

"Protecting. Not killing."

Kenshin's brow rose to his hairline. "Do you think that's possible?"

"It's the Meiji era!" she said, smiling. "Of course it's possible! Everyone in the revolution used anger to fuel their strength. Anger and hate, so they could kill better. We use our feelings of protectiveness to fuel our attacks. But we don't kill." She reached down for her bokken, but needed Sanosuke to bend over before she could seize it. "That's why we use this."

Kenshin smiled at the way she lit up when she talked about her sword style. She seemed to be very passionate about what she did. And obviously, she was a good teacher. She was really well off to have everything she did, especially at the age he'd estimated her to be.

"How old are you, Kamiya-dono?" Kenshin asked.

"Seventeen," she answered.

His jaw literally dropped. Seventeen? She must have missed out on a great deal of her childhood to be this successful at seventeen.

She smiled, almost reading his thoughts. "I have a beginner, intermediate, and advanced class." She said. "There's about twenty students in each sect."

But this idea of not killing… he didn't think he would ever see eye to eye with it. He was surprised that so many people agreed with her idea, especially after a time like the revolution.

"Lets take a seat and figure everything out." Sanosuke said, hugging his best friend closer. "I think you need a little time to get used to things again."

They sat in the dining room, obviously because Sanosuke didn't want Kaoru to see the sake vials all over the floor of her living room. They tried to figure out more about each other, and avoided dwelling on Kaoru's kidnapping.

Sano desperately wanted to question Kaoru on what had happened to her, but the subject remained untouched. He knew she wouldn't want to cry in front of everybody. Whenever it looked like he was about to bring it up, Tae would give him a warning glance.

When Tae went home, Megumi took everyone to the living room to treat the wounds. While she treated Kaoru's wounds, she made Sano leave to buy a few things. Dawn was a good while ahead, but she'd convinced him that the markets were opening, and sent him away since she didn't want Sano to see what had happened to Kaoru. He would go crazy, or possibly worse.

"This," Megumi said, showing Kaoru a tub of greenish ointment, "will not only heal your wounds, but it will also prevent scarring. I know you like your baths. Sano will prepare one for you every afternoon. Directly after you're dried off, dab the wounds with this ointment. Morning, noon, and night. Ok?"

Kaoru's brow was creased as she concentrated. "Yeah."

"So put some on now, all right?"

"Yes." Kaoru nodded.

As she moved to stand, Megumi stopped her. "Kaoru?"

"Yes?"

"You look horrible."

Kaoru smirked. "Kami sama, thanks a lot, Megumi."

"Was what they did really bad enough to take your beauty away?"

Kaoru frowned. "It's my body that was screwed up, Megumi. I know for sure that I'm not going to be revealing it to anybody for a while. So it doesn't really matter. All right?"

"I'm not talking about that kind of beauty. Your sparkle is gone."

Kaoru's face fell. "I was hoping it hadn't… I'm just not strong enough…"

Megumi shrugged. "I guess it's understandable. I really would appreciate it though, if you told me your story soon."

"I will. When the time is right," said Kaoru, suddenly looking fragile and disappointed.

"Don't worry." Megumi said randomly.

She gave the doctor a questioning glance.

"Your ki hasn't completely disappeared. It'll return in time. Just remember to keep up with your words."

Kaoru nodded and forced a little smile, keeping her eyes on the floor. She ran her hand over her slightly warm forehead and reached down to retrieve the green ointment with her delicate fingers.

Megumi gave Kaoru a friendly, fond smile. "You look worn out. Exhausted."

"Yes. I am a little. I'll go to sleep now." She tried to stand, but the movement, requiring her skin's flexibility, stretched the burns and made let out an explicit curse that would have turned a sailor's ears red. If Kenshin hadn't been watching her contently already, his head would have flicked so quickly in her direction the force would break a kink loose.

"Careful, Kaoru, don't be so hasty. I'll help you." Megumi rushed towards her toppling form and steadied her. She helped her stand without harming the burns and guided her to her room.

"Himura-san?" Kaoru said suddenly. He looked her way as a sign of his attention, and she gave him a ghost of a smile to stare at. "Your room's the fifth one on the left side. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Kamiya-dono." Kenshin watched them leave. She was an overconfident, innocent child. She was naive and knew so little of the real world. She seemed almost to ignore what happened to her. That or she was a very good actress. Was it bravery or stupidity? He knew already that she was brave. Was she stupid? Gallant, not stupid. Naiive, not stupid.

He decided it was out of bravery.

The moon was particularly bright that night. Kaoru could clearly see that from her place on the wooden walkway. She was exhausted, but she couldn't sleep. Lying in her own bed again after such a long time was too hard to adjust to. She winced at the sudden onslaught of pain. Her wounds still killed her ability to do normal things, and she knew it would take a while before she'd pick up a sword again.

"Kamiya-dono?" A voice sounded from the bedroom door.

She looked towards the figure in the doorway. "Mr. Himura?"

"What are you doing up at this time?" He asked, sitting beside her on the wood floor.

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment before she looked away. "Insomnia." She replied, her soft voice piercing the heavy silence. "It felt too awkward to lie on my own futon again after such a time had passed."

He leaned against the wall and kept his gaze on her, this girl he barely knew, but who had easily sparked his interest. Was it pity? He didn't know. But then he refused to believe it was pity. It was awe. Awe at her resilience. Awe at her strong, brave heart. She was so different from anyone he'd ever seen before, both in attitude and in appearance. She was, in the simplest of expressions, one of a kind.

He folded his lips and leaned over to get a look at her face. She was staring at the ground, her hair loose over her shoulders, long lashes strewn with tears.

"Miss Kamiya," he said to her almost conversationally, pausing for a moment almost to hold his breath, "I want to know more about your sword style."

She passed him a ghost of a smile, a smile that didn't reach her eyes, but would easily fool the less observant people around her. She opened her mouth, just slightly, so slightly that it almost appeared sultry, and after a few seconds, she spoke. "Why?"

He paused, staring at the stone well in the middle of the yard. "Why…" he murmured, lifting his eyes to the moon and the many stars scattered across the indigo sky.

Kaoru kept her eyes on him and eventually placed her chin on the palm of her hand, allowing him time to think.

"I've never known any kind of swordsmanship but the swordsmanship of killing." He said slowly, still deep in thought. "Every time I look at a sword, I see blood, and I see death. I'm a manslayer. So everything to do with swordsmanship has something to do with death. I've never… known of a sword that could bring life, and be used with hope of life. It seems almost surreal to think of it. So… tell me what it's about."

Kaoru smiled at him, a small smile, but it was more genuine than anything he may have seen for a long time. She slid her bedroom door open and caught a wooden Shinai flawlessly as it fell, without having to do more than react with pure reflex.

"We use swords," she said as she began, "but we use wooden ones. Yes, it would be a disadvantage," she cut the beginning of his contradiction off, "but it's also about resilience. It's about being strong and being good without the aid of steel. It's more defensive than offensive. My father established it when the Meiji era began, because it was a sword style suited for it.

"I can agree with that when it comes to the ideas of the Meiji. It's a perfect idea for what people thought was the perfect era. I still believe that assassinating with a sword will never stop, unlike my father, but, like my father, I know that with the revolution behind us, it'll lessen a lot more. I'm sure you know that already." She looked directly at him with those eyes, eyes that seemed to say 'tell me everything,' even when her gestures and her words had no trace of it.

He smiled slightly at that trustworthy vibe, one he'd so rarely encountered. "Yes. I can tell you first hand that you're right, since I'm one of those people. During the revolution, I was on such high demand that I lived at the headquarters, but it was routine to live that way. I didn't have to pay for my own house or food, that's for sure. I worked in exchange for food, board, and the money that came with it. But after it ended, I lived with my wife in Otsu and had a house of my own. I only get called time after time, nowadays. Like this time; it was to kill Gohei."

"I see. I was a child when the revolution was going on, but I knew what was happening. I knew how everybody lived and killed. After years have passed when killing is almost… acceptable, if I can say it, there's no way it can end forever. We're humans; there's only so much we can adjust to."

Kenshin nodded in agreement, knowing that what she said was right. Young, but knowledgeable, he thought.

"I also know now that swordsmanship is part of our lives, here in Meiji Japan. We've been using Kenjutsu for centuries, maybe more than that, so its presence still runs deep. A boy can't grow up swordless knowing that his brother's a brave fighter and his father was a samurai. It's best, then, for him to turn to me. Kamiya Kasshin Ryu is all about life, preserving it and protecting it and using it as a reason to fight. I'll knock a guy out, but under no circumstances will I kill him. Everything that's done is done completely in the interest of my present safety, and the safety of the one I'm protecting."

"So it's like that move you used against Gohei… You did it earlier, when he was about to strike me. You caught it in your own bare hands."

"Hawatari." Kaoru answered. "Hawatari is the perfect example of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu's style and beliefs. Defend, Disarm, and threaten. But never kill. I almost always leave it to the police when he's on the floor and out of it." She smiled proudly at him.

"I understand what it's about…" Kenshin said. "It is almost surreal, as I'd said before. That things can be handled so innocently and safely; that you can solve a matter with everyone involved alive to see it." She smiled at him.

"It's most definitely real."

Kenshin watched her as she turned away and stared at the shining moon. Her hands were soft, but still the hands of a swordswoman. Among them, though, he could see something else. Creativity. Yes, that's definitely what it was. It was in her eyes and in her movements; one with so much passion for ingenuity should not only be a swordswoman.

"Is there anything else you enjoy doing? Is swordsmanship all?"

Kaoru blushed at that question. "I… I like to write." She said, lowering her eyes.

"I knew it," he said triumphantly, once again staring at her hands.

Kaoru gave him an amused look and shook her head. "It's not what I'm meant to do, though."

"Why not?"

"My father saw me almost as the daughter he'd wished was a son. All he did was encourage me to become a swordsman. I took writing classes, but my father wanted me to pass on the sword style for life. I have an heir to pass it on to, but swordsmanship is my first priority still. And I'm not sorry… it's one of my escapes."

"Although… your father would also want you to be happy."

"He was obsessed with family honor." She said. "He told me that even after he died, he would be ashamed if I dishonored his name. He said he would no longer be my father. I can't imagine what he'd think of me now." Tears began to find the surface of her sapphire eyes. "I don't know why I'm telling you this; maybe it's because you were there to witness a little of it, and I feel like I can trust you. But, either way, the truth is inavoidable. My father would hate me for this…"

"It wasn't your fault, miss Kamiya," Kenshin said to her.

"I was defiled, and then continuously used as a sexual object. If that's not dishonor, I don't know what is," she murmured, wincing as the tears ran down her cheeks.

"But… it wasn't your fault in the first place. You weren't willing, or purposely disobeying your fathers wishes."

Kaoru nodded. "Maybe, but the kinds of things they did in there…" she looked up at the ceiling, trying to find words for her pain. "Any honor is all gone now…"

"Miss Kamiya," Kenshin said, leaning closer to her, "what I saw happening… was that all that had been going on?"

Kaoru shook her head. "No… he'd done other stuff. Him and everybody else… they…" she held her chest, as if her hand could restrain the sharp, sudden pain. "The things I did…" she ended up breaking under the weight of her suffering and crying. "I can't face anything anymore," she sobbed as she held her head in her hands. "I want to just jump off a bridge and die!"

He watched her cry, feeling his gut wrench deeply and his chest burn with hate for Gohei and the others- he suddenly wished he'd killed his enemies a little more slowly…

"Maybe you should try to sleep, Miss Kamiya," he said in a soothing voice. He held her gently by her upper arm and led her inside, staying until she was under the covers of her futon, still weeping silently. Then, looking away from her and stepping into the hallway, his hand clenched tightly and murderously into a fist. For some reason, he couldn't bear seeing her grieve so deeply. He had the sudden need to re-enter the room and hold her, to run his lips over the trails of her tears and make them disappear. Then the moment passed, and he frowned with confusion, trying to ask himself what had just happened.

In the morning, Kaoru didn't emerge. Or the next morning. Or the next. She was like a ghost in the house; you knew she was there, but you could look right past her. He would walk past her door and hear her crying, or open the door to give her food and see her curled up in a ball at the corner of the room. Megumi and the others were really worried; she let nobody in, not even Sano. Saitou visited because Tokio had insisted on seeing her, but when she knelt before Kaoru's broken form, she didn't get more than a word out of her. She'd noticed that Kaoru was bleeding in a few places and her skin was somewhat grayish, and when she told Megumi the doctor rushed straight inside. Kaoru's wounds had reopened and she'd only lost more blood.

"Are you sure you want to keep to yourself like this?" Megumi asked.

Kaoru curled herself more tightly into a ball. "What do you think, Megumi?" she asked. "When I see the sun, it reminds me of how long I went without seeing it in that place. When I have to eat, it reminds me of how they forced themselves into me. When I talk to people, I remember the things they'd whispered into my ears. When I get changed, I remember the way they stripped me down to nothing. When I touch anything extremely hot, I remember the way they burned me. It's better off for me if I stay in here."

Megumi pressed her lips together. "You don't get it, do you? You have to get up and go! You're making everybody else worried about you, Kaoru! Don't be so selfish!"

Kaoru dropped her cup of water and it spilled all over the carpet. She was staring at Megumi with a frightening glare. "Yeah, Megumi, it's really easy for you to say, isn't it?" She asked accusingly. "You didn't have to lose your virginity to so many men, did you? You weren't starved or tortured or raped or anything like that, were you?" she ripped a hand through her loose, knotted hair. "You don't understand anything about this! You never will! Now get out!"

Sano came in as Megumi was leaving. Being Sano, she didn't resist him, and instead she let him hold her as she cried again.

"You'll be all right." He said to her. "You don't need to worry. You'll be fine."

Kaoru shook her head. "I won't, tori atama, I won't. Nothing they've done can be healed."

Sano closed his eyes. "Kaoru… Kaoru… don't talk like that. It's not like you."

"The captivity has changed everything." She said bitterly.

Sanosuke pulled her head to his chest. "You're here. And you're fine. Just a little scratched."

"You don't know." She said. "You honestly don't know."

"Will you ever tell me?" He asked.

"If I can bring myself to talk about it."

He nodded wordlessly and fell silent. He took one of her arms and ran his fingers gently over her bruises and scars. He moved to her next arm, and then to her neck. She didn't move or speak when he slipped the folds of her kimono from her legs and stared at her gashes. The wounds in the back of her knees were still gaping badly. They were unbelievably deep and heavily infected –she'd probably carried those wounds for a long time. He gathered all of her into his arms and produced the green ointment on her dresser. With a gentle finger, he spread it over her wounds. She bit her lip and winced as her muscles tightened. But he continued to tend to her when he was done with her knees.

"Let me see the rest of them, Kaoru." He said.

Then he felt her tremble against him.

"It's not fair." She whispered. "Why would they want to do this to me? I never harmed them, and now they've turned my life upside down…"

Sano kissed her forehead. "The world isn't fair." He said. "But it's been especially unfair to you. But you'll be all right. I'll always be here to have your back."

Kaoru rubbed her face against his collarbones. "Thank you, Sanosuke," she whispered. She didn't protest when he removed the kimono from her shoulders and stared at her back. His jaw clenched. He pulled it away until she was left in her kimono shirt and hip wrap, and he saw the wounds so clearly that hate surged through him and his eyes glazed over. He held her hips and pressed his face to her soft, scarred stomach, and then he started to cry. He couldn't imagine what had gone on for her to acquire those wounds, but every day, he'd cried, hoping nothing would happen and she'd come back safely. Every day, he'd cried, hoping Gohei would have spared her the assault she now knew. He'd hoped she could at least preserve her innocence, if that was all, but even that was ripped carelessly away from her. He should have felt like an idiot to be crying where Kaoru should have been, but somehow, in the separate world where only they existed, it made complete and total sense.

The next day, a very unexpected visitor rang the bell at the dojo gates. When Kenshin opened it, a tall, heavily bearded, soft-eyed man walked straight inside.

"L-Lord Okubo?" Kenshin stammered, and he dropped to his knees.

He turned to him and frowned. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm… I'm staying here for a night or two. I brought Kamiya-san back from Gohei's place."

"So it was you who saved her… Saitou told me about it this morning." He said. "Thank you. Now where is she?"

"She's…" Kenshin was still a little dazed as he kneeled on the ground before the Meiji Government's secretary. "In her bedroom. She's been there for days, and hasn't come out yet, so I don't think you'll have any luck getting her out of there. I'll take you to her."

Lord Okubo held his hand up. "Don't bother. I know where it is." He started to walk, but stopped, as if remembering something. He took out a starched white card and handed it to him.

"What's this?" Kenshin asked.

"As my thanks, this is a card that enables you to buy a place here. Whichever one. Give it to the guy you're buying it from, and he'll get the money from me."

Kenshin's jaw dropped. All this for saving a kidnapped girl? He started to say something, but Lord Okubo stopped him.

"I won't take no for an answer. You saved the girl I have solemnly sworn to protect. It stays valid, but it's best to use it sooner instead of later."

He gave Kenshin a small bow and walked up the stairs to the living room shoji door. He slid it open. Kaoru was kneeling on the ground, holding a hand to her cheek, her face drawn with exhaustion and the tears she was crying over the stress.

"Kaoru!" He exclaimed. Kaoru's head shot up to face him.

"O… Okubo?" She started, looking surprised.

"Thank god," He cried, and he pulled her into his embrace. "I'm sorry I couldn't shield you from him…"

"It's done and over," she mumbled into his chest, shaking her head.

"No, it's not." He said. "It'll leave a lasting effect on you."

Kaoru's eyes suddenly hardened as she remembered some of Gohei's words in the first month of her captivity. "Why didn't you give him the ransom? He told me he'd asked you for a ransom, and he didn't get it."

"Well, you see… Kaoru…"

She drew back fiercely. "You mean it's true, then? You didn't give him the ransom he asked for?"

"Kaoru, I couldn't. This whole thing was a private affair between him and me, but still… I couldn't give him what he wanted. He needs to know that he can't continue doing this to people for money."

Kaoru started trembling. Kenshin thought she was crying, but instead she was furious. She got to her knees and ripped back her sleeve to show him the scars and bruises. "This is what happened to me. This. And This!" She said, pulling her kimono open to show him the gashes at her collarbones. "And This!" She showed him her other arm. "All of these! You're sorry you couldn't shield me from him? If you hadn't refrained from paying the ransom, none of this would have happened!" She broke into tears. "Did Saitou tell you what they did to me?" She cried. She was no longer angry, just scarred and sad and vulnerable.

"Kaoru…" he whispered. "Kaoru…" he pulled her to his chest and let her cry.

Kaoru pulled away from him and collapsed on the tatami. Kenshin frowned at the oddness of Lord Okubo's fatherly treatment. Megumi came in with tea and curtsied low for the important political figure, and when she ducked out Kaoru only started yelling more. They talked for a little while, but most of the time Kaoru wept. After a while he went to the living room to talk with the others while Kaoru went to sleep.

"She's been having nightmares." Megumi said in her soothing voice as she took a place at the table with a tray of tea. "Sometimes she wakes up crying."

"Say, Okubo…" Sanosuke began icily. "Why didn't you just give Gohei the ransom money?"

"I couldn't. He'd just keep on doing it. He believes the best way to shame us is to suck money from us and show off how weak we are." He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "I had no choice."

"So a tiny piece of your little reputation means more than Kaoru's sanity, does it?" Sanosuke yelled angrily.

"Sanosuke!" Megumi scolded.

"No! You listen to me, 'Sir' Okubo!" He said mockingly. "I've seen her these past few days. She wakes up crying, bangs her head against the wall, claws into her skin while she's asleep, and she hasn't eaten a thing! You don't get it!"

"But it's my responsibility-"

"Your responsibility is to Kaoru! Remember what you swore to her father when he died for you?"

"Sanosuke, be quiet!" Megumi demanded.

"I saw what was going on in there." Kenshin said suddenly, a real change from his previous silence. "And what happened must have been repeated over and over again, every hour of every day." He rose his eyes to the lord's. "If you saw what was going on and if you had any idea, you would have paid the ransom."

"The government is my first priority," he murmured, shaking his head. "You don't understand. I couldn't have done anything."

"She was gang raped and slashed and burned and tortured continuously."

"But I still couldn't have done anything that wouldn't cost the government their face!"

"It's nothing but the face!" Sanosuke cried. "We're talking about Kaoru's life here, compared to the face of this stupid government! I can't believe even when you know how she was treated that you would still not have paid for her release!"

"You don't understand!" he cried. "He asked for millions, and even though I have it, the government is more important!"

Sanosuke shook his head slowly. "She told me once that I didn't know. I didn't know what happened, so I couldn't talk. Well, you don't know either, so you can't talk."

_//Kaoru lay on the table, staring at the ceiling as she dreaded the feeling of another forceful body entering hers. Dark spots obscured her vision and each and every one of her wounds stung to hell. A second man entered her body while another one forced himself into her mouth. She clung to the edges of the rough wooden table. The splinters stuck themselves in her skin as the body rocked against her. Kaoru dug her nails into her sides until she felt blood moisten her fingertips and didn't even stop there.//_

_//"It's that fucker Okubo, little woman. We were gonna release you," Gohei said, "But he refused to pay the ransom. Dunno why. But you know what? We gotta scare you. I thought I'd just have you a few times and let you go, but no. Now, I have to scare you if I want any of that loot. So get ready, little Kaoru."//_

_//Gohei pulled the cigarette from his lips and pressed the ash into her perfect, unmarked stomach. She let out a cry that was muffled by the man pushing himself into her mouth. Her teeth sank into the member upon pure reflex, but he let out a cry and drew away. He slapped her hard across the face, telling her to watch whatever it was she was doing. The body left her, and another one came along. They laughed and slapped and kicked and scratched and cut and whispered wetly into her ear as she tried to close her eyes and ears and mind to it all. But it didn't work. She couldn't ignore the slight tear in her feminine area, or the numbing in her toes, or the pain in her skin as more fire-heated knives carved into her. Then, they strapped her legs apart and did more, until she couldn't take the pain and clawed at her throat. She arched her back, fisted her hands, and let out a blood-curling scream.//_

Megumi dropped her cup of tea and let it shatter. "Kaoru…"

Sanosuke ran through the table, knocking over all of its contents as he aimed for Kaoru's room. She was still screaming, constantly screaming, and when he threw the door open, with Megumi and Kenshin and Okubo in tow, he saw her thrashing her arms and throwing the blanket from the futon. Kenshin winced. She looked terrible, like a thousand hands were clawing at her and she was trying to throw them off. She kept on screaming until Kenshin and Sano grabbed her arms and pulled her up. She opened her tear-filled eyes, still clouded with the remnants of the nightmare. The dream had been so real… She looked through the mist at the face of the man she wanted only to hurt.

"I HATE YOU!" She cried, pointing towards Sir Okubo. She let out another cry and threw her glass vase towards him. He barely ducked, but she threw more things and threw herself into a fit of tears and screams and pure, raw fury. Megumi didn't force Kaoru down. She knew that it was a nightmare that had sent her into her seizure, and when she'd been relaxed, she'd find herself again. But Sanosuke and Kenshin tried to hold her down, and because the feeling of restraint and having no control had only brought her even further back to her captivity, she went crazier. Megumi stepped forward.

"Let her go." She ordered fiercely. Kaoru was still silently thrashing, and the two men were still trying to restrain her. She glared at their stupid, manly insubordination. "I said, let her go, you damned men!" she growled.

Sanosuke and Kenshin let go of her and threw themselves back, avoiding her thrashing arms. Kaoru lay on the ground, her chest heaving and her eyes glazed over scarily, her body beaded and shining with sweat. Megumi moved forward and took the girl in her arms. Without a second thought, Kaoru recognized the trust she had for this individual and she buried herself in the woman's chest, trembling with silent tears. She placed her arms maternally around the smaller body and rocked her back to sanity. Then Megumi looked over her shoulder at Sanosuke. "Get him out of here." He didn't need to ask to know exactly what she meant, and watched as she hugged her close. Kenshin was silent, rigid as he thought hard on the look of agony in Kaoru's eyes when she'd gone mad.

The next two days went easy on him. The new pain lessened and Megumi's medication actually worked. After a few days of Megumi and Sanosuke's tenderness, Kaoru had left her bedroom. The first thing she did was take a bath. She spent a long time in there, and to make sure she didn't drown herself, Megumi stayed in the entrance room. Kenshin watched Kaoru attempt to get back on track from the sliding door in his room as she went out into the sun and practiced katas with amazing grace. Sanosuke sparred with her on the second day, but the workout was too much for her and she collapsed. Megumi then demanded that she stay in bed and keep away from swords for a while. Kaoru was extremely angry; one of the things she lived for was the sword, so Kenshin came in during the afternoon to keep her company. He was fully aware of how bright and amazing Kaoru really was without the pain of the torture to hold her back. She had a beautiful laugh that lit up an entire room, she was innocent and sincere, and she was trusting wherever it was possible. He enjoyed being around her and basking in her sunny personality. As he spoke to her, he knew of the tall and imposing Sano outside the bedroom door, seeing it a bad idea to leave his Jou chan alone with a full grown man, especially after the past months.

When the room was filled with laughter, Sano came to join in on the fun. They ended up telling each other stories of their twisted childhoods, following up to the present day.

"When did you meet Keisuke?" Kenshin asked her after he finished his story of meeting Tomoe.

Kaoru bit her lip, thinking deeply. "About a year ago."

"You and Sano?"

Kaoru gave Sano a big, fond smile. "I'm not sure. When I was twelve, I think."

Sano returned her smile with a wider one. "I guess. I think it could have been earlier."

Kenshin saw the close connection between them as obviously as a connection could be. They were definitely very close.

"So what's your lady Tomoe like?"

Kenshin smiled at the thought of his wife. "She's very quiet and reserved. Feminine, graceful, sometimes a little fragile, but it doesn't bother me. She flower arranges and cooks very well."

"A proper lady." Kaoru said with a lilt in her smooth voice. "Your wife Tomoe san may need to teach me her secrets." She smiled genuinely at him.

Kenshin laughed. "Your cooking's probably good enough on its own, I'm guessing."

Sanosuke broke into laughter. Kaoru turned to him, narrowed her eyes, and whacked him on the shoulder.

"Her cooking is terrible. If she ever offers to cook for you, don't accept!" he laughed.

Kaoru hit him harder. Sano gave her an innocent stare before nervously averting his gaze from her promising glare.

Sano gave him a look suggesting something bad about Kaoru, and being as sharp as she was, she immediately caught on. Kenshin watched as Sano laughed away and Kaoru glared threateningly at him. As her glare gained power and her arm rose to smack him hard, Megumi slid the door open and took a step inside.

"Ken-san, a messenger told me to give you this." She said, holding out a piece of paper.

Kenshin took it without any surprise and thanked her. She nodded and turned towards Kaoru, wearing one of her wry smiles. "Kaoru, here's one from Keisuke," she said, eyebrows arched suggestively.

The younger woman rolled her eyes and snatched the starched-white card. "I'll leave you alone." Kaoru said casually as she looked towards Kenshin and tucked the card into her obi. She rose, smoothing her kimono as she straightened her knees, and tugged on Sano's sleeve. "Come, Sano." She said. They left. He opened the letter.

_I'm glad you rescued the girl. Her late father, while he was alive, had close ties to Lord Okubo. She was one of his main reasons for refusing to join with the Ishin Shishi. Right now, all you have to do is play protector, or bodyguard. Your ensured safety of her will encourage Lord Okubo to reconsider our offer. This is part of the damage control. I cannot leave right now; there is some unrest in Kyoto. You may be eager to see your wife, but you must be patient. Protect the girl, stay in her house, and we will be more convincing towards Okubo._

_Katsura_

Kenshin pursed his lips. He tried making the best of it here at the dojo, but the truth remained that he pined for Tomoe. This always happened when he left for certain missions. He was so used to having the quiet woman around, something felt strange without her. Sometimes, though, he felt even emptier around her than he did away from her. Those feelings of emptiness ran deep and barely left him. "I'm happy. I have a wife, a little house, land and seeds…" He would always tell himself, but the emptiness remained.

Shut up, he said to himself. "I have a mission to begin." He needed to ask Kaoru if he could stay a few extra days.

When he found Kaoru, she was in the living room with Sano, instructing him on how to tie her obi into a butterfly knot, which he was clearly having trouble with.

"Jou chan, why didn't you just wear a drum knot like you always do?"

"Because, Sano, I have to talk to Keisuke today and convince him to stay. If I showed up looking as plain as I always do, he'll be off running!" She said.

"What in the world are you talking about? You could be wearing a potato sack and you'd still be beautiful. You don't need a stupid, fancy kimono and a butterfly obi to make you look nice!" He said it with some irritability, because at the time he'd been trying to work on getting the broad side of the obi around her waist a second time without making it fall. Kenshin smiled. What he said was quite true.

Kaoru's eyes softened, but hardened again when Sano yelled at her. "Damnit, Jou chan, how am I supposed to do this?"

"I told you!" She sighed. "Get the broad end in a double loop around my waist, then tuck the narrow end into the obi over the knot, and then… Mr. Himura?" Kaoru stared at him for a moment and smiled politely. "I didn't know you came in. I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry. Kaoru dono, I'm having a little trouble finding a place to stay at the moment, and—"

Kaoru flashed him a warm smile. "You saved me from Gohei. You can stay as long as you need to."

"Damnit Jou chan, you can tie this obi by yourself!" Sano growled angrily at the obi and let it drop to the floor. Unfortunately, the sash keeping her kimono together fell loose as he dropped the obi and fluttered to the floor. Her kimono fell with it.

"Sanosuke!" She cried. In another second, she clamped her hands around her body, trying to keep it out of view with violent humility. Sano covered his mouth. Kenshin's eyes widened.

"Jou chan… Umm…" He tried to react, but he was frozen in place. She was only wearing her hip wrap and kimono shirt.

Kenshin, fallen oblivious by the view, stared on shamelessly. She had lovely, sculpted legs that stopped at the swell of her round hips in contrast to her tiny waist. His eyes trailed upwards. Her ribcage was narrow, and her shoulders sloped nicely. With the kimono shirt slightly open, he clearly saw the delicate skin between her breasts.

Kaoru was too busy yelling at Sano to notice Kenshin's staring.

"I'm sorry! I'll… um… I'll…" Sano was out of things to say. With a shaky hand, he received her forgotten kimono and draped it over her as he tried to avoid her killer stare.

Kaoru glared at him. "I'll get you for that when I'm done with Keisuke."

She stomped out of the room wearing a scowl and slammed the door behind her. "Pervert."

Keisuke drummed his knuckles on the wooden table. His hands trembled when he tried to smooth his long, loose hair. Tae leaned against the chair opposite him. She was glaring at him as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and placed her hand back on her hip.

"I hope you know what you're doing." She said in a stern voice. Keisuke knew she was angry about his decision. He knew it would rip his soul apart to do what he was doing, but it was for the best. Just then, the door opened. A beautiful blue-eyed woman nodded to the waiter who'd opened the door for her. Kaoru.

"Kao chan!" Tae chimed happily. "You snuck out without Megumi seeing, I take it?"

Kaoru nodded. Keisuke eyed her with a fluttering heart. She was beautiful. Her kimono was blue, with silver and gold and red designs on the flowers strewn across the silk garb. The hem was lined in black. The overall look brought out the beauty of her eyes. Her obi was in her everyday drum knot, but its colors were just as bold as her eyes. Red, gold, yellow and white brought the scene of a beautiful sunset. He knew that one look from her today would have any unmarried (or married) man weak at the knees. She never usually dressed this nicely. Her hair was usually messy, framing her gorgeous face with loose strands all over, and her kimono were usually just cotton with a few designs. Even so, she had always been beautiful. It was her tomboyish side that drew insults from jealous women. As soon as she looked his way, he stumbled from his seat towards her and pulled the woman he loved into a lumbering, strong, powerful embrace. Kaoru hugged him back with the same eagerness, and he took her by surprise with a kiss.

"My love…" He drawled when they pulled apart. "I was pulling my hair out with worry."

"So was I…" Kaoru replied, smiling through gentle tears. "How I missed you…"

"Gohei… he didn't… you know. Or did he?"

Kaoru shook her head. "He did." She felt her eyes redden with tears. Keisuke would be so ashamed of her…

But instead of feeling ashamed, he stared at the girl before him and felt angry. Gohei had had no right. If anyone had the right, it was him. He'd always believed that. He'd always believed that he would someday soon marry the girl. But now… He felt regret swell in his breast. He wanted to look away from her. He feared that if he looked any longer, he'd break down and cry. This is what I'm leaving, he told himself. This, this perfect, blue eyed, passionate, courageous beauty is what I'm giving up. He was an idiot. He'd almost missed the flash of hurt that passed through her eyes when he didn't immediately reassure her that no matter what had come to pass in Gohei's clutches, he would always love her. He wanted to put the smile back on her face. So he stepped forward and pulled her into a tight, comforting embrace, so tight she couldn't move her arms to hug him back. When he looked at her again, she was smiling.

As they went through the three courses, they talked with the same ease around each other as they always did. They shared secrets, and kisses, and jokes and laughs over the stupid things both had done. Kaoru was so sure he'd decide to stay with her, and Keisuke was screaming inside that if he didn't stop rediscovering the overpowering love he had for this woman, what he was forced to do would become so hard he'd chicken out.

They both refused to bring up Kaoru's kidnapping any more than they already had. Kaoru smiled to know that Keisuke knew her well enough to refuse to bring up the painful past. When the meal was finished and the bill was paid, he offered to take Kaoru on a walk through the trees to the river.

"Kaoru," He said nervously.

"Hai?"

"We need to talk about… my departure."

Kaoru stopped in her tracks. "Departure…" Silent understanding dawned on her glazed eyes. "So you're going?" He knew her well enough to know the slight tremor in her voice was anger.

"Listen… I know it's,"

"Why! Why are you going? Your company can't force you! You have everything you need here!"

"Kaoru…"

"No!"

"It needs to be done!"

"For who? For you? I don't think so. You wouldn't go to Kyoto unless you really needed to, and you don't!"

"I do!"

"You don't! You know you don't, and–"

He cut her off by pulling her into a kiss. After a moment of submitting to the familiar thrills of kissing him, Kaoru pushed him away.

"Don't say anything…" Keisuke commanded. She didn't look like she was going to say anything again, so he continued. "I'm becoming distracted."

"Distracted from this relationship?"

"No. From my job. I'm being distracted by this relationship."

"How?" Kaoru narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to say more, but he gave her a warning look.

"This," He said, pressing her heart, "is distracting me. Loving you is distracting me."

Kaoru glared at him.

"If I don't leave, then… I'll be too distracted, and all I've done will be for nothing."

Kaoru tried to argue, she tried to make him change his mind, but he didn't. She acknowledged with a heavy heart that Keisuke's decisions were always unchangeable. After trying to fight his decision and insulting his choice, saying work was more important to him than love, she ran out of the energy to argue.

"I'm leaving tonight, and it's final." He said sadly.

"I see. So you decided to tell me the morning before you leave. To give me no time to change your plans or your mind. You trapped me." Kaoru spat.

Keisuke bowed his head. He knew she wouldn't understand. She had a right not to understand. The man she loved, who she worried for during her torturous ordeal, was leaving her. She trembled. Whether it was from the cold or the pain in her heart, Kaoru shivered. Keisuke glanced up at her pretty face as it fell with sadness. This was his woman. His beautiful, spirited, strong, gentle, understanding woman. The woman he was leaving. His mind roamed to past times, including their ever fateful meeting, and so many more memories. He stopped, placing a hand on her stomach to block her path, and gazed deeply into those glittering blue eyes.

"One last time before I go," He said to her, pulling her closer to him, "Let me hold you. Let me kiss you one more time, so I'll always remember the feelings it gave me." He stared at her startled face. "Please."

Kenshin woke up from his place in the living room with a frown. He'd forgotten falling asleep, but distinctly remembered the lady doctor giving him sedatives. When he sat up, he saw Kaoru in the kitchen, sitting at the table with her head down.

He walked towards her and saw immediately that her body trembled every now and then. She was crying. "Miss Kamiya?" He asked.

She looked up and instinctively wiped her eyes, but she didn't manage a smile. For once, she didn't care to hide her pain. "You're awake. Is your headache gone?" Kenshin winced. Her voice was broken and dull.

"Megumi told you?"

"Hai."

"It's fine now. But what's wrong?" He'd already seen, from the way she wears her heart on her sleeve, that she wasn't a crying kind of girl. If she'd been doing it a lot lately, well, that was understandable due to what she'd been through in the past. She was the girl who'd laugh hysterically at women who cried at the drop of a hat, while she cried at horrible memories and being so mistreated. But he had a feeling that her tears were caused by something else this time. When she cried about the kidnapping, she'd always done it privately.

Kaoru smirked miserably. She was ready to answer him when the entryway opened with a bang and Sanosuke ran in. "Jou-chan! Tae told me everything. I need to talk to you." He said.

"What?" Kaoru frowned at him.

"Keisuke was a piece of shit from the beginning." He growled.

Kaoru placed her hands on her hips, then passed Kenshin an amused look, which he returned. "Is that what you needed to tell me?" she asked, feigning impatience. Even with the tears staining her face, she somehow made the sardonic look work.

He walked up to her and looked at Kenshin. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to Jou chan."

"Go ahead," Kenshin said, shrugging.

"Great!" Without a warning, Sano hauled Kaoru up and planted her on his shoulder.

"Sanosuke! Put me down!" She growled warningly, but with the restrictions of her tight kimono, she found herself unable to kick him. "If I was wearing a hakama, you bastard!"

"Hai, hai, whatever. You're wearing a kimono, so today's my lucky day!"

He walked her outside and down the path to the training hall.

Kenshin frowned. Odd people.

That afternoon, Kaoru came out with an inexpressibly sad face, but she looked like a little of her burden had been lifted. She changed back into her drab clothing. Kenshin's mind immediately went back to Tomoe and her ladylike elegance. She was such an ideal, traditional Japanese woman, and carried an air of reserved calm and serenity. She didn't question him. When they walked together, even as husband and wife, she strayed two paces behind him. She cooked and cleaned as a woman should do. She knew her place. This girl, however, was more often than not a fiery, passionate being that he'd never seen in a woman. Kaoru was blessed with a face more angelic than an actual angel, but she was tomboyish and drab all the same. Her fancy kimonos – gifts he'd found out from Sano were given to her by smitten and instantly captivated men all over the place – were rarely worn. He noted to himself that her trunk was filled to the brim with them. Obviously, she'd captured many men's hearts.

It's a very good thing I'm already in love, he told himself.

Kaoru rounded a corner as he wandered the hall and walked straight into him.

"Ah! I'm sorry," She said, looking flustered as she stared up to meet his eyes. She was in her usual gi and hakama, brandishing a bokken and wearing a slightly broken smile.

"No worries. Are you training?"

"Hai."

"You really shouldn't. Megumi-san said it was best you stayed in bed."

Kaoru glared at him and pushed past. "Yahiko's coming back today, and I wanted to greet him with a sparring match."

Kenshin wanted to laugh. "You're greeting the boarder with a spar?"

"Yep. That's the way he likes things done."

"His way will make you faint."

"His way is well deserved."

"Oh really?" His tone was sardonic.

"He was a nervous wreck when I got kidnapped. Things will go his way for an hour or two."

"Don't flatter yourself." Kenshin smiled amusedly, knowing she was behind him, her back facing him, and wouldn't see his smile and become further enraged.

"Excuse me!?" She growled. Before she could give back an answer of hers that made a grown man cry more often than not, Sanosuke showed up.

He looked Kaoru up and down, his eyes narrowed critically. "Jou chan, you're wearing your training uniform."

"Hai. Of course I am. I know what I'm wearing, you know."

"Not like today, when you completely forgot to add an under robe to your ensemble."

Kaoru blushed furiously. "Idiot!" She growled. "It's summer time, and that was a summer kimono. No under robes are worn with summer kimono. You DO know it's a summer kimono, right? Notice the not-so-long sleeves?"

"But it was silk…"

"Whatever." Kaoru said, pushing past him. Kenshin had turned to watch the exchange.

"No you don't!" Sano cooed, drawing her back by the waist and picking her up, this time in a much more comfortable bridal style. "You are going to keep away from the bokken, take off that outfit, and replace it with a kimono." He said.

Kaoru raised her eyebrows at him.

"And if you refuse, I'll do it myself!"

This time, Kaoru wasn't the only one to blush. "Mou! Fine, then. I'm going to sit on the porch and do nothing till Yahiko gets back. Happy?" She pushed away from his chest and landed on her feet.

"Very." Sano broke into a smile. "But if I find you practicing katas, you're gonna get it bad."

Kenshin wished Kaoru would turn around so he could see the look on her face.

"Ass." She growled. She disappeared round a corner.

"See? She's in a good mood already! And when did I come in, two minutes ago?" He said to Kenshin with a triumphant smile.

Kenshin shrugged and went back to his wondering. In the few days he'd been here, he realized that not only was Kaoru's cooking terrible, but Sanosuke didn't know a single thing about food, either, just 'how to eat it fast enough to finish a four course meal in ten minutes,' as Kaoru had once put it. So he aimed to ask Kaoru for a little bit of the 'secret money stash' and go shopping for something to make in the market. He saw her outside, performing a very graceful, complicated and flexibility demanding kata, a victorious look on her face.

When he explained his intentions, Sano had just stepped out of the bathhouse with a cleaning rag and a grumpy glare, so she dropped her bokken and went immediately to bring him the money.

He was surprised when she kneeled at a trunk in the study area and pulled out a medium sized case. When she opened it, she revealed thick, tightly rolled cash in rows and piles in the box and rummaged customarily for a certain note. He'd never expected her to have so much money. She looked up at him and caught him staring wide-eyed.

"It's… well, my parents left a large inheritance, and the dojo's very prosperous," She explained with slight humility. Then, finding what she searched for, she pulled out a ten-yen note. "A ten should do it."

"Oro… a ten? That'll leave a lot of change." He said to her.

"Oh well… you can just pick up extra stuff. We can keep it in the larder, and you won't have to take all those trips."

"Arigatou."

"No problem. Make sure you cook enough for everyone, though. Remember there's Megumi, Sano, me, and you, and there's also Yahiko. I think two of my ninja friends bringing him back may stay for a few days as well."

"Hai, hai, don't worry about it, miss Kamiya."

"All right." She stood and smoothed out her kimono, then bent over with sudden, captivating grace to lock the case and return it to her trunk. She tucked the keys into her sleeve. "Now, I'm going to look for a certain rooster head and convince him to spar with me."

Kenshin smiled amusedly. She would obviously get a no, but he wouldn't crush her spirits. He left for the market place.

Kaoru towered over a napping Sano, obviously one who had just fallen asleep, and blew mischievously into his ear. When he stirred and clapped his hand over it, Kaoru giggled.

"Wake up, Sano." She said from directly above him. He'd conveniently decided to sleep on the dining table instead of his futon, for one reason or another. He opened one chocolate brown eye and stared up at her. She flashed him a charming smile.

"Yes?"

"Can you get your lazy self up and spar with me?"

"No."

"Sano! Roosterhead! Please?"

"No."

Kaoru made a demand. "If you won't, you HAVE to promise to let me spar with Yahiko."

"No I don't." He said firmly, not bothering to open his eyes.

"You do!"

Sano growled impatiently. "Fine, fine… Just let me go back to sleep."

She rolled her eyes and lifted the rolled up blanket from her side, doing her Kaoru thing by being motherly and draping it over her sleeping friend's body. It was autumn, after all, and she liked making sure people were comfortable.

Kaoru smiled. "Well, I'm going off to spar by myself now. You'd better come and stop me!" She suggested playfully. She walked to the training hall as he dropped his heavy head back onto the table and ignored her offer.

Knowing Sano was asleep, Kaoru took advantage of her 'alone' time and practiced her katas. She felt easy assurance once the hilt of a Shinai rested in her hands. Her swings seemed to be made only by the naturalness of her movements, not by the concentration in her focused mind. She could let her mind wander away to flowers and chocolate and even Keisuke, and her body would still take over and do the swings and thrusts almost for her. She sighed contently. It felt right.

So she let her mind wander. She felt the pleasure of being able to see Yahiko again, the eagerness she felt around Sano sometimes, and her steps never faulted as the feelings of guilty love and almost physical pain in her heart at thoughts of Keisuke. But her thoughts settled themselves on Gohei, and her steps faltered. She fell to her knees, dropping her Shinai, and let out a sigh that abruptly turned into a sob.

_//"There you are," He said with a growl as Kaoru opened her eyes and stared at him from the doorway. She was locked inside a tiny cage sided by other caged women, but his predatory gaze was on her. "I thought I left you in the drawing room."//_

_//"K-Koshimura brought me in here." She said, angry at the tremble in her voice.//_

_//"Oh?" he sauntered towards her, his eyes gleaming. Kaoru had the strongest need to back into the corner of the cage, away from him and his intense gaze, but being defiant as she is, she stayed were she was and returned his gaze with an even glare. He knelt to unlock the cage door, smirking at her angry eyes, and as the door swung open, she found herself ripped out and tumbling on her knees to the floor, the wind knocked out of her. She lay on the floor, gasping for breath, her choking sounds overriding the sounds of panicking ladies in neighboring cages.//_

Kaoru covered her head in her hands. She forced herself to push the memory out. Out of her head, forever. But it came flooding back, like a gray cloud or a bad smell, no matter how many walls of defense she put up against it.

_//She heard sinister laughing as a large hand gripped her hair and pulled her up. She struggled free of his hold and tried to run, but he grabbed her trailing hair and yanked her painfully back to his chest.//_

_//"I've made my decision, little beauty." He said, and she knew there was a second meaning to his words.//_

_//"Please, Gohei… I know I don't have any family to pay my ransom, but I have close friends and a lover who will give you my weight in silver to have me returned."//_

_//Without any warning, he grabbed her waist and lifted her effortlessly from the ground. "My, my, little beauty, but you are rather light. An elfin, mystical being. Elfin, mystical beings do not leave my mansion before first giving up their innocence." His soft, falsely tender voice hardened. "Your weight in silver is not enough. Your family, or what's left of it, holds the Kamiya fortune."//_

_//"My family has no such fortune," she told him, her chin held high.//_

_//"It does. In you." He slid his hands down the curves of her body, and she shivered with disgust. "You now know what I speak of. Your father took away the use of my right thumb. I took years to learn to use the sword with my left hand, and even more years to regain my dignity. You will pay."//_

_//Before she could answer, he pulled her away towards the doorway, then up the stairs, then to a room with white lights and an unusually high pine table.//_

Kaoru's face twisted with regret and pain. Her tears pooled at her cupped hands and stained her face with their watery trails.

_//Hands, moving to separate her kimono, brushed roughly over her face after she'd been thrown harshly onto the table.//_

_//Hands, moving up her thighs, getting to her zone. Clothes being removed from her body and the front of a hakama being lowered. A heavy, hard, harsh body pressing against her, ripping into her as she let out a short, pained gasp and dug her nails into the table. Gohei lying over her, repeating it, over and over and over again as her legs went numb from his weight and his abuse. Blood staining her legs and pooling to the back of her knees. The white flowers in her kimono staining red. Just like her, the white had turned red, overrun by sins and robbed of all purity. She stumbled from the table and fell to her knees as her life continued to pulse out of her. Her head bled from being banged and banged over and over into the table. Her fingers bled from digging into the wood. Her defiled area bled from Gohei's harsh entry. She was weak, and collapsed to her side as she bled and bled and bled… Someone laughed from a sitting position at the table as she heaved, catching her breath, lying spread eagled on the ground, her body aching and the feeling in her legs returning with gentle tingling that felt like the points of a thousand knives.//_

"Kaoru…" Sanosuke whispered as he knelt beside her and pressed a hand to her shuddering back.

_//As he walked out the door and slammed it behind him, Kaoru curled into a ball with her knees on the ground and covered her mouth with disgust. He had… Gohei had violated her… She felt her body lurch and threw up until it felt like the sides of her stomach were touching. Even then, she threw up stomach acids that burned her mouth and fell into a pool below her. She stumbled away and landed on her side. She was so tired, so exhausted, so agonized, she couldn't stay awake. She fainted in a sprawled, disgusted mess on the floor.//_

Kaoru tried to stop crying. But it only hurt more. She didn't want to burden Sanosuke with her problems, no matter how willing he was to carry them with her. She struggled to keep composed, not knowing it hurt Sano to see that she couldn't trust him with her pain. So when she let out a short, strained sob, he eased her worries with a simple command.

"Cry. Cry all the things that hurt, until there is nothing left to cry."

She cried.

**End Chapter 2**

So, right now all K&K are doing is getting closer I have to establish a relationship between the two of them and get a few more characters out of the way, first. This was a particularly long chapter, but expect the coming ones to be slightly shorter. This took up about 19 pages on Word, while most of the other chapters range from 9 to 15 pages.

Anyways, Chapter Three: The sparks of Attraction

Tell me what you think, please!

Mizuume


	4. Sparks of Attraction

Heyloo peeps!

It's been forever, and i'm really sorry! Damn, so much has happened while i've been away. I sorta looked over this old story and decided to finally post the next two chapters. I'll continue at this speed, hopefully, and try to finish this dormant plot while i can. I'm in London right now for medical reasons, so I had some spare time between doctors to look over this ancient stuff.

Enjoy!

Chapter Three

The Sparks of Attraction

Yahiko returned as the sun was an hour away from setting. He wore a pair of green hakama and a yellowish gi, in a strange material Sanosuke didn't know of. Misao came bounding in after him, her usual smile on her face. When she saw Sanosuke, she charged into him before Yahiko could even attempt to get near him and wrapped her arms around his neck. From the doorway, Aoshi kept her in his range of sight with a protective, watchful eye.

"Rooster!" She cried gleefully.

"Weasel!" He said, his voice deep and lilting with fondness.

"It's been too long!" She cried. Sanosuke stared down at her and could not believe she would be a wife in a couple months' time.

"Far too long. I would have rather gotten the news in person than in a letter, you know," he said jokingly. He looked past her to Aoshi, who stood calmly but could not conceal the warning glint in his eyes. Sano gently disengaged Misao's arms and nudged her towards her fiancé. He understood perfectly that, being the kind of person Aoshi was, he did not tolerate having her act so intimately with him. His glare melted easily away when Misao looked his way and gave him a little smile.

"Where is she?" She demanded happily, poking Sano in the ribs.

"She's in the kitchen with our new boarder. Trying to learn how to cook." He winced as the others gave him knowing looks, and turned to the large house only to see Yahiko running frantically up the stairs to the interior.

Kaoru was standing at the stove with Kenshin, but was still far away enough to keep anyone seeing them from suspecting anything. She leaned over the pot, watching it with forced concentration. She would not let her food burn this time.

"Put in this amount of miso paste," He instructed, showing her the proper quantity in his hand.

"Yeah." She pulled off a chunk similar to his in size and dropped it delicately into the boiling water. As she reached out for a spoon to stir it with, Kenshin flicked his head around to the doorway, where he could sense a presence. A boy flew through the door, aiming blindly for Kaoru, and before Kenshin could shield the mistress of the house, the boy tackled her and hugged her tightly from behind. She let out a cry and knocked the pot out of place with her elbow, making it shift and splash all over the place. A blob of the boiling soup fell on her outstretched, uncovered wrist. She let out a hiss and turned frantically to her arm. Kenshin took her hand from her and observed the burn as she disregarded him and returned Yahiko's hug.

"Oh, Yahiko!" she cooed happily, a wide smile gracing her lips.

"Sanosuke… he told me Gohei had you, and…" His eyes glistened so she motioned for him to stop, ensuring that he didn't speak. She kept one hand on his back as he continued to hug her, and turned towards Kenshin.

"Is it bad?" She asked. "It doesn't hurt much, but… I'm used to burns," she said, slightly bitter.

"Not very bad, miss Kamiya." He said, forcing a comforting smile. "The doctor will have to check on it. I'll resume your lessons another time."

She nodded lightly to him in thanks and left, taking Yahiko with her. She looked back at her boarder as she stepped into the hallway. Though he was formal, his eyes were so… gentle. Compared to the way they looked when he killed Gohei, anyway. But all of the time, gentle or not, his eyes were beautiful.

As she stepped into the porch, shielding her eyes from the sunlight, she was pounced on yet again by her hyperactive best friend. "Misao!"

"Kaoru!" She cried. She wrapped her arms tightly around Kaoru's neck and squealed with the usual Misao glee that she always possessed. "You're all right? No wounds, nothing?" Her eyes clouded over with active worry. Kaoru's slightly rosy cheeks deepened in rogue.

"Nothing was harmed but her ego," Sanosuke said, giving Kaoru a subtle wink. She turned to Aoshi, who briefly embraced her, keeping a perfectly composed, almost sympathetic smile in place. Kaoru gave Misao a meaningful look and led her further into the courtyard where the others were out of proper earshot.

"Kaoru, you kept this place perfect! It's just like I remember it! Do you still have that weird storage thing full of ice in the kitchen?"

"Yes, I do. But damnit, Misao, tell me how you won him over!" She cried with an ear-to-ear smile.

Misao smiled triumphantly. "He was the one who won me over, believe it or not."

Kaoru's smile widened impossibly. "But remember, Megumi has to talk with you. About… you know."

Misao laughed. "I feel superior to you for once, Kaoru. I have Okon and Omasu; they told me everything. VERY disturbing. If you can avoid such discussions, Kaoru, avoid them." Her voice, for once, was dark and serious, and so unfitting for Misao that Kaoru felt the urge to laugh in her face.

Kaoru, instead, only chuckled nervously. "I… well, I don't know what to say to that. But thanks for warning me."

Misao rolled her eyes. "How's that idiot of a boyfriend doing?" By that, Kaoru knew she meant Keisuke.

"I don't want to talk about him," she said curtly.

"What? WHAT? What happened? Tell me, Kaoru! Please?"

Kaoru's eyes held a wounded look, and she sighed deeply, trying hard to keep her tears inside. "He left me."

Misao's eyes held bloody murder. "Tell me."

"He's leaving to go to Kyoto to work because he thinks I'm too much of a distraction from his job."

Misao pulled her into a hug and breathed in her sweet scent. "Don't worry about it. You remember that guy in your class, right?" She held a playful look. "Oroido," she swooned. "He's been falling all over you for months now!"

"Him and half of the advanced class," Kaoru said dryly.

Misao shrieked with laughter. "You know, we stopped at a noodle shop when we arrived to feed Yahiko, and there were these teenagers from your advanced class, talking about you. They miss you a lot. And they started talking about your cleavage!" she laughed more, but Kaoru turned bone-white.

"Uh… what? What was that?"

Misao gasped for air and continued. "They were sitting around, wondering what happened to you. Then one of them said you were pretty, and the other said you were gorgeous, and they all agreed that whenever you did the stretches at the beginning, and your short-sleeved hakama is on, it kind of opens up and they can see your bindings and then…" she paused to take a breath, "they can see your cleavage."

She blushed deeply, and decided she would have to cover up more during class.

"Anyway, you little hotshot, let me see that sparkly training hall, and look at the new names on the walls!" She pulled a set of Kunai from the case strapped to her hips. "Aoshi bought me a practice set!"

"I'll train in there with you. Just let me get changed."

"Oh, who's this?" Misao asked, staring directly at Kenshin, who was at one of the sliding doors.

Kaoru smiled at him and walked over to him to take his arm in her hand. "That's the man who saved me from Gohei. He is staying here until his assignment ends." She turned to Kenshin and whispered subtly. "She's Misao Makimachi, the leader of the Oniwabanshu ninja group." Kenshin was startled to see that the girl who ran the Oniwabanshu, the most highly respected ninja clan in all of Japan, was such a tiny thing. He'd imagined a large, burly, muscular woman nowhere near Misao's petite profile.

He bowed. "It's an honor to meet you, Makimachi san." He said, his eyes still fixed strangely on her.

Misao laughed out loud, something he'd later learn was a Misao thing to do, not a tease or jeer in any way. "Misao is fine, Mr. Himura! I should be bowing to you, for rescuing Kaoru!"

Aoshi heard this, and went to him with Sano. "I thank you." He said. "For helping her. I wasn't able to get within two miles of the dojo without being swarmed by police. That is, when I actually got the chance. Kyoto's a mess at the moment."

Kenshin smiled, but got a big shock when Misao bounded to him and gave him a tight, affectionate embrace. "Arigatou!" she cried. "I'm so glad! I knew she'd get out somehow, and I'm glad she had someone to help her!"

"Umm…." Kenshin returned her embrace with a mild, brief one and disengaged her arms when he noticed Aoshi's protective glare. "No problem… I just went under cover and it wasn't that hard."

"It wasn't that hard?" Sano asked. "Gad, now you're making me feel bad…"

Kaoru emerged from her room again, and she was dressed in a different outfit. Her hakama was blue, and her gi was different. Unlike the long sleeved, unrevealing and very closed yellow brown gi, she wore one in off white that was rather short sleeved and revealed her pale, toned and slightly muscled arms. Kenshin noticed at once that it was different. Not only were the sleeves far shorter, but the gi was a little big on her, and at the neckline gave a view of her breast bindings. She summoned Yahiko to the training hall with an excited smile.

"Why in the world is she wearing that gi now?" Sanosuke asked himself.

"She always wears that one when she's not planning on going outside the dojo." Aoshi said knowingly, shrugging at the pointlessness of this conversation.

"Oh. I didn't realize…"

"It doesn't matter, anyway. I want to watch the effectiveness of Misao's new kunai." Aoshi declared.

"Nice excuse. Admit it, Aoshi, you're going in there to gawk at Misao in her new outfit, not her kunai."

Aoshi glared at him, but said no more. Besides, what about it wasn't true? Misao had a new ninja outfit in the form of a short blue sleeveless top and a skirt with slits on either side that went up to her thighs. Because her top was so short and her skirt was so low on the hips, it revealed a lot of her stomach. When she and Aoshi became engaged, the Oniwabanshu recognized her as a woman and assigned her the more womanly outfit. Aoshi couldn't deny that he liked watching her in it.

The three of them retreated to the training hall. Megumi was already in there, and over Yahiko's battle cries and Kaoru's grunts as her bokken made contact with his, she tried to tell Kaoru sparring was a horrible idea. Kaoru stopped and threw Kenshin a smile as her eyes passed his way, then gave Sano a knowing look and flicked her eyes to Megumi. Misao, though, was already in action.

"Megumi, would you like to play target to my shiny new kunai?" she asked with a smirk.

"Would you like me to poison your soba?"

Misao rolled her eyes and watched as Kaoru and Yahiko's battle became heated. She attacked fast, ducking low when he tried to hit her legs and expertly dodging with her flexible body as strikes came her way. Yahiko was having a little trouble, though his excellence in swordplay excelled his years. Kenshin understood why the north wall of the dojo was completely covered with name plaques. In the middle of the wall was Kaoru's tablet, where her father's used to be. She was written under master, and Yahiko was making his way to assistant master. He looked back at her. From her expertise, he knew her title was well deserved.

When they were done, both Yahiko and Kaoru were only covered with a very thin layer of sweat. Yahiko's breathing was only slightly ragged, and Kaoru's breathing was simply unlabored.

Kenshin left the friends in the training hall to continue making dinner. That night, still in their training clothes, everybody sat down to a delicious meal.

"Lobster. Kami Sama, Kaoru chan…" Megumi chided. "I didn't know you could afford such things."

Kaoru and Kenshin snorted in disagreement.

She gave the two a perplexed stare, but let it drop easily. "Where did you learn to cook like this, Mr. Himura? Seeing you're not exactly the home making type…"

"My wife," said Kenshin, and he immediately felt a pang of longing. "She… well, since we don't talk much, we observe each other. A lot of the time I'm with her, she's cooking, and I guess I just picked up my skills from her."

"That explains it." Megumi said, her voice seriously lacking in subtlety.

"Explains what?" Kaoru asked, her eyes hardening.

"You didn't have a lovely, well cooking man at home all this time to observe. Your food is terrible!"

Kaoru bit back a growl. "Well excuse me for caring about things other than petty cooking and being the perfect zombie wife!"

Megumi rolled her eyes, a hint of good nature sparking in them. She smiled at Kaoru, who sardonically smiled back, her eyes narrowed with artificial fondness she didn't care to make more believing.

The others at the table looked on with interest. Yahiko, being a child still, stuck himself to Kaoru's side and didn't leave. Even if she used the outhouse he'd stand outside the door and wait. Same went for whenever she needed privacy. Presently, he sat himself right next to her, so close their sides touched. But Kaoru understood his reasons, so she didn't complain.

"Kaoru," Megumi said as everybody finished the last of their dinner, "You shouldn't wear your training clothes for too long. The sweat will only irritate your wounds further."

"I'll have a bath now," Kaoru said, resting her chopsticks on her now empty bowl.

"All right, then, the usual routine." Sanosuke said, looking over at Kenshin.

Kaoru, being the mistress of the house and the one who provided for all the boarders, was to be given extra priorities, especially after what happened.

"There's the whole 'men are better than women thing,' but don't overestimate it. It's a load of crap. The women carry us, give us distractions from the real world, remind us of beauty… they are not inferior." Sano once told him. "In this case, though, with the woman providing for us, and having recently taken such suffering and surviving it, she is superior. We need to help out where we can."

Kenshin grew used to preparing her baths. He would gather lightweight wood while Sanosuke filled the huge tub inside with water. Then, Kenshin would go inside when the bathwater is filled up and add the necessary soaps, also making sure she has towels and whatnot, while Sano gets the furnace working. The two men went through the routine every day, and usually got it finished by eight during the evening and two in the afternoon, depending on what time of the day she decides to take it.

But today, Kenshin moved with very slow movements. He wasn't focusing on anything he did. He rolled up his sleeves, reached into the water, and felt the bottom of the tub in case the fire below was too large, as he'd done every day for the past few days. He noticed folded clothing on the edge of the tub. Her yukata. He reached out to hold it and hang it on the hook by the wall, but the robe slipped from his fingers and tumbled into the hot water. Damnit.

Kenshin winced when he picked it out. How would he explain this to her? Leaving his other tasks, he walked outside to the clothing line. He would have hung it up with the rest of the clothes to hide his clumsiness, but the robe was soaking wet and would only get the other clothes more wet. Plus, she'd notice if every piece of clothing was dry but one of her robes.

He bunched it up, rolled it into a thick 'sausage,' and wrung the cloth with his hands. Water poured into a mud puddle at his feet. He would get the bathhouse dirty walking back inside. He quickly hung the robe on the line and did what he could about his muddy tabi. When he walked back into the bathhouse, it was with bare feet, and he was behind schedule. By now, he was supposed to be gone. He quickly arranged the soaps, checked the facilities, and scrubbed the floor of all excess dirt he left behind. As he stood to leave, the door to the first room slid open, and in stepped a feminine figure. Damnit… he was supposed to be gone already!

He heard her voice, smooth and angelic, as she hummed a beautiful, lilting, serious song. He could see her silhouette as she dropped the towel from her shoulders and proceeded to let her hair loose before the mirror, still humming that spell binding song. He saw her thick, long, lustrous hair shower over her silhouette's shoulders.

Kenshin found himself in a state between sleep and awakening. He couldn't speak, or move, or register the fact that Kaoru would kill him for being there right then. He was content hearing her voice and watching as she went about her business freely, thinking she was beyond the ears and eyes of all.

She was about to step naked into the back room containing the tub. She would be even angrier. So he did the first thing he could.

"Miss Kamiya!" He cried. He heard her let out a yelp of surprise, then a loud bang, then groaning. Her silhouette fell to its knees. He had too harshly surprised her, and made her jump. He scrambled up, ready to help her, but she yelled at him in a warning town.

"Don't you dare! I'm not wearing anything, so whether you want to help me or not, you can't! And what are you doing in here anyway? You're supposed to be gone by now!" She was incredibly angry, and there was a sharp, terrible pain in the back of her head.

"G-Gomen, Miss Kamiya… He said. "I fell behind schedule."

She tried to sit up, but she felt so dizzy she weakened and fell back. She groaned faintly to herself. Stupid Kenshin…

"Maybe I should help you. I'll cover my eyes."

"You'd better!" She warned. He slid the door open and stepped into the front room with a hand over his eyes. He secretly hoped his eyes would burn a hole through his hand.

Wait… What? You're married, Himura! Control yourself! He lectured.

"Wait!"

"Hai?" He'd almost dropped his hand at her loud yelp.

"Bend over and feel on the floor in front of you. There's a damp towel on the ground."

He found it where she told him it would be and threw it towards her. She immediately slipped it around her as decently as she could. "Ok," She said in confirmation.

"Can you stand?" He asked, eyeing the beautiful mess slumped against the wall.

"I don't know. I tried to just now, but my efforts don't seem to make a difference."

"Try again," he said, not making a move to help her. She attempted it, getting up on trembling legs and using the wall to guide her, glaring at the floor angrily all the while, but she looked like she was ready to pass out. She reached out to grab something, and that something happened to be Kenshin's gi. Then, she crumpled to the floor.

"Kaoru!" he cried.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just need to make it to the bath and I'll feel better." She said.

"Okay, then I'll help you." He said.

To Kaoru's dismay, he swooped her up into his arms. She was not in the mood for so much body contact… from anyone.

Kenshin sat her safely on the edge of the tub. "Okay?" he asked.

"Okay." She said. "Now get out."

He nodded and fled. That was a terribly awkward experience. So awkward, he'd left in a rush. He was so rushed, he didn't notice the blood on the back of her head.

He stopped, realizing he'd forgotten something. There were only wet towels in there. Damnit… He ran to fetch some more and returned reluctantly to the bathhouse. When he reached the first room, the scent of jasmine assaulted his senses.

"Ms Kamiya," he called, "I forgot the towels. They're all here."

No answer. He snorted. She was probably still angry with him over the previous incident. "Ms Kamiya?"

No answer. The atmosphere was eerily silent. Something was wrong. He slid the door open cautiously, hoping she wouldn't hit him with the first thing she got her hands on. But no. She wasn't even there. He didn't see a head poking out of the bathtub, or hear her humming that beautiful song. Perplexed, he walked into the back room. What he saw horrified him. She was in there all right. But she was lying in the water-brimming bathtub. Her eyes were closed, her head was submerged, and blood had formed a cloud around her head as it hovered between settling and floating. Her legs were spread eagled, and her arms were slumped on either side of the tub. Her towel was still wrapped around her. Kenshin's heart stopped.

She was drowning.

He ran desperately towards the bath and leapt inside, not caring for the water that spilled over the tub with his added mass. "Megumi san! Sanosuke! Somebody!" He cried. He got too his knees and pulled her head from the water. She was out cold, and the towel was still tight around her. She had probably fainted as she tried to get in, maybe even as he left her sitting on the edge of the tub.

He called for the others again just as the door to the bathhouse slammed open and Megumi ran in with Sano.

"Kami sama!" She cried. "What happened?"

"I think she fainted as she was sitting on the edge…" he said, panting.

Sano wasted no time in ripping her from the water and laying her down on the wooden floor. Water pooled in all directions, but the three of them knelt in it anyway. Megumi felt her pulse. It was slow and weak. "Kenshin, you breathe into her. Sanosuke, count presses into her chest."

Kenshin was taken aback when he saw Sanosuke immediately respond to Megumi's orders, without even a moment's hesitation. Kenshin worked with the same efficiency as Sano and closed his mouth over Kaoru's, vehemently ignoring the awkwardness of the situation. He blew air into her to clear her system. Sanosuke immediately started hammering her chest. She didn't breathe.

"Keep going!" she ordered.

They kept trying. She didn't wake up. Sanosuke was a nervous wreck. "Keep going!" Megumi ordered again, her voice stronger and louder than before.

Sanosuke hammered her chest. Kenshin pumped air into her. When he was about to pull away, Kaoru's body jerked and she coughed, and his mouth filled with water. Without a second thought, he sucked the rest of it up from her open mouth, giving her the strangest sensation, and swallowed it himself without removing his mouth from hers. Her lungs were suddenly cleared. Then, he breathed air into her one more time before pulling away. Her eyes opened and gazed up at him. Her chest rose and fell, and turned red where Sanosuke had hit it. Her lips were red where Kenshin had pressed his own. They were parted as she gasped for breath. In that moment, as she gazed up at him, he became the angel that had saved her life. To Kenshin, she became the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. More importantly, she became the thing he'd saved, the person whose life he returned. Kenshin broke into a smile just as Kaoru did. He gently touched her bottom lip, and sparks flew.

"Ok, Kao chan…" Megumi sighed. "You're all right! But you didn't cough up the water… I don't understand—"

"She was about to cough it up, but I sucked it out all at once and swallowed it. I'm not sure she'd have had the energy to cough well enough," He explained with a blush.

Megumi smiled, and Kaoru watched from her position on the ground, her head on one of his knees. Kenshin had saved her life. Again.

"Thank you…" Megumi said, bowing low. Kenshin blushed even harder.

Kaoru tried to sit up, but found she couldn't. Pain filled her again. "What exactly happened?" she asked, her voice still hoarse.

"You fainted at the edge of the tub," Kenshin said, almost wincing at the memory. "You fell into the furo and almost drowned in two feet of water. It may be because you hit your head earlier…"

"You hit your head?" Megumi demanded. "And you didn't come to me first?"

"The water's red." Sanosuke said. "It bled profusely. No wonder you fainted."

"I'm sorry…" Kaoru said softly.

"Don't worry, Kao-chan…" Megumi said. "You'll go to sleep now, ok? I'll help you."

On her collarbones, her burn marks were clearly visible. Even though his awareness of her torture wounds blocked any surprise, he still felt anger surge through his entire body.

In the early morning, Kaoru woke up. She dressed quickly into her inside training clothes and woke Yahiko to join her in the dojo. Kenshin was already awake, cleaning up in the bathhouse.

"We need to start training again," Kaoru said, walking across the polished wood of the training hall to the far side. Somewhere outside, she could hear Misao in the outhouse, retching as she threw up again. It had happened so many times already, and she was desperately worried for her friend's health.

Yahiko's face lifted excitedly.

"Not yet. We won't spar yet, so don't get too excited. Remember the yoga I made you perform? The one that, after you mastered it, made you able to finish that kata?"

"Hai," Yahiko said disappointedly.

"Okay, good. There's a new kata I want you to learn. It's incredibly effective. But your balance and flexibility will need to be better than they are now."

As Kenshin walked across the yard, he heard her voice. He snuck to the training hall doors and took a peek inside.

"Okay," Yahiko said. "Fine. Show me what I need to do."

Without any warning, Kaoru jumped up and landed on her hands. Her forearms were pressed to the floor, and so was her chin. Her legs were straight in the air. Kenshin stifled a gasp. She was well skilled to do it so easily.

Even more to Kenshin's surprise, Yahiko effortlessly repeated her move and landed in the same position. Kaoru smiled proudly. She straightened out her arms so that only her palms touched the floor. Yahiko rose to the challenge and did the same, his arms trembling a little bit. Kaoru smiled at him.

"Very good, Yahiko! I'm impressed! Your arm muscles are getting stronger and you're getting lighter. Last time you couldn't do it." Yahiko returned her praise with a genuine smile.

His smile disappeared, though, when he saw what she did next. Kaoru spread out her legs and did the splits, keeping her arms perfectly still and her form perfectly poised.

Yahiko couldn't do the splits, but managed to replicate it well enough, keeping his knees bent to match his ability. Kenshin didn't notice, though. His eyes were trained on the woman teaching him.

Kaoru smiled, pleased enough with his attempt. "This may be easier for you. We don't need to do the splits." With absolute care, she lifted her stronger right arm from the ground and reached forward with precise definition. Kaoru kept her back in the same position when she moved her right leg over her shoulder and touched her foot to her jaw. Then Kenshin gasped. That was amazing.

Yahiko was just as baffled, and when he tried to do the same, his arms buckled and he fell in a tangle on the floor. Kaoru giggled and expertly untangled herself, landing gracefully on her feet.

"You can't expect me to do that," Yahiko said.

"I don't. No worries. I was just demonstrating to you what I can do, and what I want you to be able to do sometime soon. So let's get to work!" She said with an ear-to-ear smile.

For the next hour, Kaoru worked on getting Yahiko to do it properly. She stood by his side and guided his limbs, keeping a firm hold on him as he shifted from one position to another. When she finally got Yahiko to do her last move with her support, she slowly let go of him and moved away. For a moment, he was stuck in space, but he started to topple. Kaoru pulled him back and showed him the proper way to untangle himself and land on his feet.

When their hour-long session was over, Yahiko was getting there, but not completely used to it yet.

"It's okay. I didn't expect you to get it in one day," She said. Kenshin revealed himself after watching. "Good morning, Mr. Himura!" She chirped with a sunny smile. He felt something jump inside him, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Addressing me as Kenshin is a fine, Ms Kamiya," He corrected with a weak smile, angry at the breathless touch in his voice.

"Well then Kaoru is fine, too, Kenshin," She said.

"I'll be going to the market after breakfast, Kaoru-dono. There's enough food for everything right now, but I didn't buy as much as needed last time."

"Well, that's fine. But if we're going to stock up, you'll need help carrying everything."

Kaoru insisted she go with Kenshin to the market this time. He rather enjoyed his alone time, but seeing Kaoru was always so cheerful and enthusiastic about everything without being suffocating, he didn't mind.

She wore a plain dark blue kimono with a black obi bearing indigo designs. The colors were a little whitewashed, but nevertheless complimented her eyes tremendously. When they set off, she strayed two paces behind him, as a polite lady would, but Kenshin nervously beckoned her forward. "We'll be able to talk easier." She frowned at him as she easily quickened her pace to match his. "I mean… about what we're going to buy."

A few people gave them questioning glances, but got over it soon enough. She was looking around for a fruit stall, but got held back by the amount of friends and acquaintances greeting her. To her dismay, some of them looked at her with belittling or disapproving eyes.

"Kamiya-san," A calm, cool voice called. She turned to it.

"Yes?" She asked.

"You're back," An elegant, poised woman stepped out of the crowd and made her way towards them. Her calmness and composure made Kenshin think achingly of Tomoe.

"Yes, I am…" Kaoru kept a suspicious frown in place.

"That's good to hear." Her voice was monotonous, cold, slightly cruel and very scrutinizing. "And who is this handsome man next to you?" She asked, looking directly at Kenshin.

"This man is Mr. Himura, the one who saved me. He's a temporary boarder at my house for now." She made an emphasis on the word temporary.

The woman's glare hardened. She shook it off and managed a tight-lipped smile. "Well… I hope to see you soon. My son still insists on taking your lessons, though I don't know why of all people, he picked you to be his sensei." A smirk marred her features, making her look even more enchanting. She bowed and left them. Kaoru turned away, her hands fisted, and began to walk.

Kenshin followed and rushed to keep up with her. "Who was that?" He asked, seeing the affect she had on her.

"Just… something of a rival. Nothing big."

"She angers you?"

"Not often. Most of the time it's me angering her, but it's never on purpose."

"What makes her angry?"

"Its such a long story, I won't go into it now. She's just overtly proud because she used to be a concubine of the Emperor."

Kenshin snorted. "Well that's something to gloat about…" he said sardonically.

Kaoru smiled in agreement. While they proceeded, they couldn't help being held back for a greeting or two. Occasionally, he would lean over and ask, 'do you know him?'

She would smile and say 'yes,' and identify them, or smile just as brightly and shake her head as she proceeded to walk on. One man, incredibly good looking with gentle brown eyes and blue black hair, gave her an approving smile as his eyes trailed over her body from the ground up. There was something creepy in that smile, but Kaoru, being as good natured as she was, smiled shyly in return since he'd done nothing wrong and tried to walk away. He pushed himself off the wall and trailed in the crowd behind them.

"Did you know this one?" Kenshin asked her.

"Not at all. But I swear, I think I've seen his face before."

He smiled and pulled away again, to a respectable distance. "All right, then." He was about to reassure her when he caught a rushing figure from the corner of his eye. He turned and saw that man, pushing hurriedly past the people in the crowds towards them. "Miss Kaoru!"

Kaoru looked Kenshin's way, her eyes filled with fear. "I remember where I've seen him now. He was in Gohei's mansion… he was one of the men who…" her eyes clouded over and she looked like tears were very close to coming.

"He's rushing to us. But don't worry, miss Kaoru, I'll keep him away—" he stopped short when she bolted from his side. He watched mesmerized for a moment at the speed she ran, and how graceful she looked when she ran. Then he took off after her. He looked back and saw the culprit break into a run behind him. Kenshin went faster. Even with his incredible speed, it wasn't exactly effortless to catch up with Kaoru. When he turned around, the man was still running towards them. He grabbed Kaoru's hand and led her onwards at a faster pace. She felt like her legs would give out if she wasn't careful. Her kimono opened up to her knees at her need to run. When their legs started to burn and their lungs felt like they would burst, he swerved to a stop and flung her behind him. The offender stopped in his tracks, too.

"Finally…" he drawled. "I have found the little girl again." He made to walk to Kaoru, but Kenshin stepped in the way.

"You will fight with me before you get within two feet of her." He said, not really caring that a crowd had formed and Kaoru was opening her kimono. She opened it up to the middle of her left thigh. Strapped to her leg was a bokken. Without any warning, she pulled it out and shoved right past Kenshin. She leapt at her former assaulter and knocked him right off of his feet before he could react. As she moved to strike again, he lifted his sword to block her and leapt back up to his feet. She ran at him immediately, getting a hit in on his side, but one that only made his left arm falter.

"Bastard…" she spat. He smirked at her and moved to attack. She threw her bokken to Kenshin and caught the coming blade in the palm of her hands. She smirked at his irritated glare. He ripped the sword away and attacked again. But she ducked and ended up behind him, and at that same moment, Kenshin threw her bokken back to her. She caught it easily in her right hand and hit her opponent with a surprise strike to the neck as he turned to face her again. He let out a strangled cry and ran at her faster. She kept one hand on the hilt and grabbed the tip of the wood with the other, and crossed her bokken over her head as the attack came. With all the strength she could assemble, she sprang upwards and forced his sword back with her bokken, at the same time having it broken in two. She held the two pieces in her hands, thinking of a way to improvise. He swung downwards again, but was surprised when she caught his blade with both pieces of her broken bokken. Kenshin watched in awe as she used her hidden strength to throw him sideways and twist his sword from his hold. With graceful expertise, she caught the flying blade by the hilt. When the opponent got to his feet, he met the blade of his own sword in her hands, at his neck.

Breathing heavily, and with trembling breaths, he raised his hands in surrender, but Kaoru made no move to take the tip from his neck.

"I could kill you whenever I want, you know. I have you cornered." She threatened, much to the man's incendiary fury. "Unfortunately," she continued, taking his sword from his neck and handing it to Kenshin, "I don't kill."

The man let out a relieved breath, but when he sucked it back in, it came out as a laugh. "Foolish, foolish girl… You will not get anywhere without killing."

"You're wrong. I've gotten quite far without taking a single life."

"Then your technique is stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's the sword that protects." She rolled her eyes and stepped away from him. The crowds that gathered started to cheer, and excited words mixed with the clapping.

"Did you see the way she disarmed him?"

"So much strength…"

"Such expertise!"

"And she did it in a kimono…"

"…If she's a woman, then she shouldn't do this…"

"I hear that's Kamiya Kaoru, the master of Kasshin Ryu…"

Kaoru blushed. She turned towards Kenshin, who was smiling proudly at her. The sight, strangely, was achingly welcome, and it gave her relief to see. She wanted to get that look of pride from him more often.

"That was quite a fight. Are you all right?"

She looked queasy. She felt queasy. Her legs ached from the way she had to move with the kimono. She was about to reassure him when she stumbled forward. Her head spun. All she saw was black. Kenshin caught her in his waiting arms.


	5. I'll Never Walk Away

Chapter four

"I'll Never Walk Away"

Kenshin frowned as he twisted her in his hold and stared at her face. It was ash white, and even her pink lips had lost their color. She couldn't handle the things she used to, not yet at least. He should have known. He should have stopped her. Sanosuke would be pissed.

He picked her up and held her closely to his chest. His face was etched with worry.

A kindly old man reassured him upon seeing his face. "Don't worry. She'll be fine if she gets some rest. The poor girl must be scared out of her mind."

He nodded and gave him a smile of thanks for his concern. As he started to walk away, making sure the newly arriving police had that man under control, he felt a tug on his sleeve. A timid woman holding an even more timid boy by the hand was looking at the woman in his arms.

"Excuse me, sir, but, if you don't mind my asking… what style was that?" Her voice quavered nervously.

"Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, ma'am. I'm quite impressed, myself."

"Kasshin Ryu! I've heard about it! Is that the assistant master, Kamiya san, or is she just a student?"

"She's becoming master, but if you're asking who teaches it, she does."

"That's quite impressive. She's rather petite; that little trick at the end came out of nowhere!"

"Yes, it did." He agreed, because, really, he hadn't expected such strength from her either.

"Are there any classes going on right now? I would like a style like this for my son, a non killing one."

"You probably heard about the kidnapping. Ms. Kamiya needs to recover from this first, and then she'll resume classes. I'd say about two weeks." He told her. He knew she'd be angry that he held off her classes for a couple weeks, but she'll get over it.

"All right. Well, thank you for telling me, and I hope she recovers well." She turned away, but stopped suddenly and looked back at Kaoru's face. "She looks too delicate to be practicing this rough a profession," she commented. "Is she yours?"

This woman was far too bold. And he had the mind to think she was timid… But her question became an inside battle with himself. Is she yours? He frowned. No, she's not. Mine… mine is in Otsu. Remember that. Mine is living in Otsu, in our house, patiently waiting for you to return, and putting all her trust in you to let you continue your job. Mine has been with me for three years. But he couldn't help it. He stared at the girl in his arms. A beautiful face like that, being mine. A fiery spirit like that, being mine. A big, generous, beautiful heart, and an even more beautiful soul, being mine. Someone who is all of these things and more, being mine. Mine, and mine alone… Mine.

"Yes," he said, without really thinking. "Yes, she is mine."

The woman smiled. "You chose a beautiful girl." She left him standing there, staring at Kaoru's enchanting face. He saw things he'd never gotten close enough to see before. Her soft lips had slightly obvious bite marks, and a dark tinge encircled the outline of her eyes. She was very, very tired. But he'd thought she spent a lot of time sleeping. Her eyes… they were also slightly red rimmed from a night of heavy tears. It was probably Keisuke. Or bad memories. He wanted to memorize the scent of her body and texture of her skin and the beauty of her face. He wanted her to smile a genuine smile, not a cover up. He'd only seen it from her once.

When he came into the dojo, everybody seemed occupied in the living room, so he snuck quickly into her room and laid her down on her still unrolled futon. Her black hair fell all over the unusually large mass of feather pillows. He sat back for a while and watched her. She was so perfect in sleep. So dreamless. So carefree. She was more tempting than any geisha or escort could ever hope to be.

His eyes scanned the room. She had a dresser on one table. The only cosmetics on it were rosewater and the green ointment Megumi had given her. It was half empty already. A curvaceous pot was steaming with recently heated water, probably poured by Megumi so Kaoru could wash her face when she returns. Next to the pot was a hairbrush. It was deficient of any stray hairs and looked sleek, elegant, western and expensive. On the right corner rested a book. It had a lock on it, and he spotted the tiny key hiding behind the mirror. He couldn't help himself, and he crawled towards the dresser to unlock the book. A feathery brush and a bottle of black ink rested beside it. He turned to make sure Kaoru was asleep, pushed the key into the lock, and opened the book. He saw that her feminine calligraphy was written quickly, but also gracefully.

Sometimes I wonder what it is about me that has so easily attracted Keisuke. He gives me these pining, infatuated looks and smiles my way when he can. I still remember seeing him in the dojo on the afternoon when he came addressing me with a message from the governor last summer. The governor is one of Otousan's long time friends, of course. Keisuke was wearing light blue; a light blue gi and an even lighter blue hakama. His eyes… they're like a mix of amber and brown. So beautiful… I was in the middle of demonstrating a kata near the end of the advanced class. He waited until every one of my students filed out. When I turned towards him, he was admiring the way I moved my hair out of my face. At least, that's what he told me a moment later, when I frowned at him and asked for the message. It was an invitation to the New Year's ball. I was sixteen, and Keisuke was eighteen. He offered to show me the kind of dress I should buy. Instead of going to the market, we went to that fancy dress shop up in Shoji Avenue. It was filled with western dresses. I'd never worn one before, and I was pretty confused about how to get it on. I felt so stupid when the assistant had to help me… I felt like an idiot, especially in front of someone as charming and captivating as Keisuke. When I came out, I remember not being able to breathe properly. The dress was blue, with a tight bodice that showed off the contrast of my waist and hips. I was a little embarrassed, seeing that I'm supposed to be perfectly cylindrical, like a geisha, but Keisuke told me he'd never known a small waist to be so attractive.

He ended up buying the beautiful, unusual dress for me, as a gift from Okubo-kun, but I found out later that it was a gift from him, that he'd paid out of his own pocket. We danced together at the ball. People kept on staring. But I couldn't tell if it was because I was ugly, pretty, or wearing such an unusual dress.

About a week later, a deliveryman arrived at my gate with a box and flowers… apparently, Keisuke had sent them. In the box was a kimono so beautiful I feel I don't do it justice by wearing it. It's blue, like my eyes, and I'm looking at it now. To know that he sent me a kimono as a gift of goodwill… I have butterflies in my stomach. Many times, it's sent to reassure me a pending proposal will come sometime. Why he picked me, I don't know. But we became good friends, and we're closer than ever, now. Misao teases me about it in her letters. If he does end up proposing, I hope I'll be a good wife.

Kenshin flipped through the pages. Kaoru's beautiful writing showed that she was well educated. She wrote about Yahiko. He'd tried to pick her pocket as was his job, being a slave to the Yakuza, but she opened her house up to him and spent day and night for weeks on end getting the Yakuza to release him. She wrote about the times she spent with Keisuke after she'd won him over, she repeated every loving word he recited to her, she wrote of how she could feel herself falling in love with him. Then, he looked at a page near the last few. It was dated from around a week ago, when she first returned. She wrote that she needed to get these memories out of her system and uncork the bottled up feelings, and she apologized for writing so graphically.

Every day was a living hell. Gohei gave me to a few of his friends at a time. They tied me to the table, spread eagled me, and tried all sorts of things. They didn't seem to understand that I can't take more than one person at a time. It scares me to think of this, but I believe I was losing my sanity bit by bit. They strung me up and burned holes in me, they slashed whatever markings they wanted into me with their swords. I've never felt so much hate and disgust before.

Kenshin could see smudges where her tears had fallen all over the place. She seemed to be fine when they got to the house, but, of course, she was the kind of person who kept all her burdens to herself.

I had to take the torture, the rape, the pain, everything… I don't want to pity myself, but I have to do it somewhere, where no one else can see it. Do you know what it's like? Will anyone else ever know what it's like? Though I would feel less alienated, it would be the worst thing to wish for. No. I don't want anyone else to go through what I went through. I don't want anyone else to be humiliated and degraded and tortured in ways worse than any death. People say nothing is worse than death, but I know now that there is worse.

I feel so… alone. I feel lacking in some places. Sanosuke… yes, he would comfort me, but he would go insane afterward and kill every one of Gohei's men in a night. I don't want him to become a murderer because of my petty need for comfort. But I can't stop myself from wishing I had someone to share this with. Not to give them half of my burden, but to let them feel it for just a moment, so they may better understand me. If only Okaasan and Otousan were still alive… then everything would be easier for me. I told my father I couldn't do this on the day we said goodbye. I told him I couldn't bear the weight of the dojo and it's honor. He took my tear-streaked face in his hands and told me I could. I wonder now… was he wrong? Am I wrong? For wanting to share my troubles with somebody?

She proceeded to write on about it, and he could hear the pain in her voice and see the sadness in her eyes. When he closed the book, his eyes were blurred and watery. He turned towards the sleeping girl on the futon. He noticed fresh tears running down her cheeks from her closed eyes. She let out a sob that was so full of agony, even in sleep. The sob turned into sobs, the tear turned into a rain. She trembled, and being asleep, cried freely. He placed himself next to her and did the first thing he could. He pulled her into his arms, pressed his lips gently to her ear, and whispered, "I'm here. I'll be here for you. Tell me your troubles and I'll carry them for you." Kaoru's chest stopped jerking, her sobs died away, and the last of her tears dropped from her cheeks. She fell into a peaceful sleep. Kenshin pulled back to watch her. Seeing that she was fine, he laid her on her futon again and reluctantly left the room. He couldn't let himself get close. He couldn't.

When Kaoru woke up about twenty minutes later, she woke up from the most peaceful sleep she'd had in weeks. In the beginning, it was terrible, but suddenly the nightmares subsided and she woke up lacking an aching back and pillows wet with tears. She crawled out of bed, still in her kimono, and went on hands and knees to her dresser. She rested a hand on the pot of water. It was still very warm. She pulled the basin from under her dresser and poured it in. Because the clay pot was built thickly, and with very dense clay, the water stayed warm for much longer. She rested her now water filled basin on the dresser and took off her kimono. She gathered the rest of her hair into a bun at the back of her head, pinned back her bangs, and dipped her face into the warm water. When she raised her head again, she sighed with pleasure and only then noticed the note by her hairbrush.

I took you back to the house after you fainted. I'm out right now to get the supplies we originally left for. Whether you want to tell the others about today or not is up to you. I haven't said anything, and they haven't asked any questions, so your secret's all right for now. The guy you fought is in prison. They got the location of Gohei's mansion from him, and about half the men have been arrested. I thought you'd like to know that his right hand man, Reishijiro Ken, the one who organized the torture, has been arrested.

Kenshin

Kaoru sat back. She was quite relieved to hear that those men had been caught, especially Reishijiro. She still remembered him pressing the cigar tips and coals into her and carving all sorts of things into her thighs. She felt like soon enough, she'd be able to heal. It would begin with resuming her classes. She went through her class schedule and spent an hour writing notes to the parents that her classes would begin in two days. She had many students, so she had many notes to write, and she had gotten halfway through the numbers. As she opened the gates to have the mailman deliver them, she walked straight into a hard, warm chest. Ginger and sandalwood assaulted her senses. When she pulled back, she saw Kenshin staring amusedly at her, shopping bags in his hands.

"Yes?"

Kaoru glared at him. "What were you doing? Standing behind the door like that…"

"What are those?" He asked, pointing to the bundle in her hands.

"These are envelopes."

"To who?"

"To the parents or household of all my clients. I'm resuming classes in two days, so notices need to be sent out. Now if you'll excuse me—" She pushed past him, but gasped at the feeling of a firm arm around her waist.

"You're not resuming classes in two days. You're resuming them in two weeks."

"Who says?" she asked impatiently.

"I say."

"You don't have a say in anything."

"Yeah. I don't have a say in whether you get home or stay and get tortured," he remarked sarcastically. She glared at him. That had hit a nerve. She tried to push past him, but he was so strong only a flick of his arm sent her stumbling backwards. He grabbed the neckline of her kimono and hauled her back to her feet.

"Listen, I have a right to start my classes when I want, and I choose to start them in two days."

"No. Sanosuke would never allow it. Neither would Megumi-dono, or me."

"Well Sanosuke, Megumi, and you do not own me or my school."

"But we care about you, Kao chan," Megumi showed up out of nowhere, and behind her trailed Sanosuke. "You're not starting in two days. You'll faint." She continued.

Kaoru looked shocked. "But… I just fought someone today, and I was fine!"

"No you weren't!" Kenshin piped up. "You—" He was cut off when Kaoru slammed her elbow into his stomach. He choked on his last word.

"You FOUGHT somebody?" Megumi demanded.

"Yes, I fought one of the men from Gohei's mansion, and I won! So HA!"

Megumi glared at her. "You're so childish!"

"So what if I am? I still managed this dojo and fifty students and three classes a day being childish, didn't I?"

"We're not saying you can't handle it," Sanosuke said, seeing that Kenshin was still winded and couldn't talk. "We're saying that right now you can't handle the physical demands."

"Whatever." Kaoru huffed. "I could handle a fight with one of Gohei's men today, so I can most definitely handle beginners, level two, and advanced classes, don't you think?"

"Come on, Jou-chan, try to be reasonable," Sanosuke almost demanded.

"I've BEEN reasonable! I've been reasonable by not killing myself out of shame like any other person would have!"

"Yeah, but, Jou chan…"

"Yeah, but what? People I know, who were friendly with me before, have looked at me like I'm a whore ever since I returned. Today, people I know and love, who were close enough to me to hear about the torture, suddenly look at me like I've been… I don't know, selling myself!" She yelled. "You don't know how that feels. I know you, Megumi, were forced to make Opium, but the only one who looked down on you was Sano, and he got over it in a couple of days! You have no idea."

"Of course I have no idea, Kao chan, but still, please understand—"

"All I want is to get back on track and pretend this never happened! That's not hard to understand."

Megumi couldn't say anything. Instead, she looked at Sano. "Sanosuke," He nodded.

Before Kaoru could react, he grabbed her neatly piled envelopes and proceeded to take them inside.

"Wait!" She cried. She did what her instinct told her to do, and jumped Sano with all the speed she had. She clung to the back of his jacket and pulled him back, letting his movement drag her along the ground. He stopped long enough for her to try steadying herself. "I spent two hours writing all forty eight of those notes!"

"So? It was your time wasted, not mine." Sanosuke shrugged smugly.

Kaoru wanted to slap that stupid smirk off of his face. Using all of her speed and defying Sanosuke's excellent reflexes, she reached for the envelopes and pulled them to her chest.

"Jou chan!" He reached out for them, but froze when she placed the bundle into the neckline of her kimono and let them rest inside her kimono shirt. She smirked at him.

"You can't touch them now, can you?" She mocked.

Sanosuke jumped her before she could move away, pinned her down on the ground, and held her kicking form as one hand fished through the clothing for her envelopes. But… something froze inside her. The hand on her chest seemed to tighten her lungs, and all of a sudden she couldn't breathe.

"Sano…" she whispered. She started panting furiously, feeling as if even the air wasn't enough, and black dots appeared in her vision. Kenshin looked on with horror and Sano frowned. What had just hit her?

"You baka roosterhead!" Yahiko yelled, furiously hitting Sanosuke's head with his bokken, "Don't you see what you're doing to her?"

Sanosuke realized exactly what he meant then, along with everybody else, and stumbled backwards. Yahiko pulled Kaoru off the ground and tried to follow as she stumbled from them, a hand on her heaving breast. Kenshin recognized what was happening to her in a second-Tomoe had had panic attacks often when they first met.

She felt like she would collide with some other dimension of the world, and her heart still raced, her chest still heaved, and her vision still blurred. She couldn't even think by the time somebody placed firm hands on her shoulders and did her balancing for her. She couldn't even protest when one of those hands cupped over her nose and mouth.

"Breathe," a voice, comforting and soft, whispered into her ear. "Don't stop breathing. Keep on, keep on…"

Slowly, the vines that seemed to wrap around her ribs slid away, and she sagged with exhaustion. Sanosuke came for her, worried and obviously apologetic, and she instantly threw herself into his arms, knowing he offered the best comfort. Everybody watched confusedly. Wasn't he the one who made her upset? Isn't he the one she's angry with?

But Kenshin understood. She was upset with the memories, not with him. He noticed that the sun was setting and walked inside to cook dinner.

Everyone sat around the long dining table and waited for Kaoru before beginning. She didn't show up. So Kenshin stood, saying he would get her, and nobody objected. When he slid the door open to her room, what he saw made him blush.

Kaoru was sleeping on her side. But her yukata had completely fallen on one side, and he could clearly see the rippling muscles in her shoulders and back. Though having muscle was a manly thing, hers fitted her so perfectly they became something that made her look even more womanly. He knelt down beside her and took hold of her yukata neckline. He placed it gently on her shoulder again, and watched as she turned over onto her back, looking so enchanting he wondered how Keisuke could ever have left her.

"Miss Kaoru," he said to her. She groaned slightly and shifted into another position. Her lips parted and she exhaled through her mouth. Even though she'd vomited earlier on, her breath was strangely fresh and cool and inviting. He remembered that she grew mint leaves in her garden and chewed on them from time to time.

"Miss Kaoru," he tried again, but her hand only settled beside her left cheek. "You need to wake up and have dinner, that you do…" She didn't move. "Miss Kaoru," he nudged one of her shoulders. She was out cold. With a fond smile on his face, he softly touched her lips, and then ran his fingers over her cheek. There was something about her that was so refreshingly unfamiliar… already he felt a fondness for her. It was then that she decided to open her eyes.

He jumped back. "Miss Kaoru!"

She frowned at him, turned slightly as her head sunk into the huge, unusual pillow, and stretched. She looked absolutely adorable. "Yes?"

"Dinner is ready. Everybody is waiting for you."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I kept you waiting…" She jumped from her blanket and folded her yukata more tightly around her. When she moved to leave, he frowned.

"Aren't you going to change…?" He'd never heard of a lady going to dinner in her sleeping yukata. Tomoe never did. Then again… Kaoru wasn't exactly a lady.

Kaoru frowned at him. "No… I don't need to change. Everyone here is close, and I don't need to be so formal." He looked even more confused. "I could go to dinner with them in a bathrobe if I wanted to."

"Oro… are you serious?"

"Yes. Misao did it the last time she visited with Aoshi. Nobody threw her a second glance. We're all friends here; there's nothing much to hide, right?"

He wordlessly followed her out. This was very strange…

And she was true to her word. When she came inside, nobody threw a second glance at her outfit. They just addressed her with smiles and their eyes were always on her face. The only eyes at her waist belonged to Sano's, and he watched the gentle inward curve with an intense longing that only Kenshin's instincts could identify.

Before bed that night, he quietly slid Kaoru's door open to offer her a cup of tea. Misao and Aoshi were already together in the spare multi purpose room at the training hall, for one reason or another, Sanosuke was awake with his precious sake in the kitchen, Megumi was asleep, and Yahiko was having one of his very rare and occasional baths in the bathhouse. He hadn't checked on Kaoru since dinner.

Her garden door was closed, the curtains were drawn over the windows, her back was to him, and she was sitting before a kimono hanger, staring hard at the garment hanging there. It was probably the most beautiful kimono he'd ever seen. It was blue, like her eyes. The colors on it were more beautiful than the actual picture. There were black blues, navy blues, pale blues, moderate blues, and some moderately dark blues here and there. It depicted a dark, beautiful night, above a waterfall. The stars were silver, the night was royal blue, the trees were teal, and the waterfall, starting below the hips of the kimono, was extremely luminescent, as if they'd installed lights between the threads of silk. The pool ran to the bottom of the kimono, with rocks here and there, and grassy slopes edging either side. Probably the most amazing thing about this kimono, though, was the yellowish dots at the trees and the top of the waterfall. They were fireflies, and they literally glowed. Their light spread throughout the fabric in little taints and sprays. Usually, in an affordable kimono, the light would be a bright yellow dot. This, though, was the next level.

He was so dazed by the kimono that he hadn't realized Kaoru still thought she was alone and had begun to slip her yukata from her shoulders to quickly towel off. Kenshin blushed hard, and though he had half a mind to stay and watch as he saw her pull her arms from the sleeves and let it fall to her waist, where it was still tied by the sash. He saw the muscles in her back more clearly now. They were nice and toned, and somehow suited her slight form. Her skin was pale and luminescent, though marred by burn scars and slashes in a few places. He winced. The girl had gone through so much… and she was still there, alive, living for her friends and her boarders and providing for them without a single complaint. She turned her head slightly and he jumped, thinking she'd see him, but her usually sharp senses were dulled at the moment. She'd merely looked sideways to dip her washcloth into the hot water basin. He saw, on her cheeks, glistening, grief stricken tears. He turned away. He knew he wasn't supposed to see that. He wasn't supposed to see her crying. He felt like he was invading something incredibly secret of hers, something no one was meant to see but her. She didn't cry in front of people all that often; she was the kind of person who didn't fiercely appreciate the existence of a petty, oversensitive woman who would cry at dead plants.

Kenshin winced. Tomoe once had, when they were still staging their marriage. It was when it rained, and they were in the land where their crops were growing. She kneeled on the ground beneath his standing form- beneath the parasol's shelter, and took one of the plants in her hand.

"Oh no…" She said sorrowfully, running a finger over the dying plant's brown, drying leaf. "You worked so hard…"

"They're plants," he said firmly, his voice monotone. He was still the cold, insensitive Battousai back then.

"But…" Tomoe lowered her head. He saw water drops that were not the rain splash onto the green and brown leaf. "I hoped…" she sobbed. "I prayed."

Kenshin snorted, but couldn't help gazing at her in wonder. As pathetic as it was, he had seen then what was missing from his life. Everybody he'd known had taken everything lightly. The people surrounding him were all insensitive and hard and strong. He looked at this weak, soft, over sensitive woman kneeling by his feet. She was crying over stupid plants, yes, but wasn't it a great change from all the coldness and lack of any sensitivity? Of course, crying over plants, in his mind, was pathetic, but when Tomoe did it, it worked for him. He'd lacked a lot of pathetic softness in his lifetime, so a woman brimming with it could make up for all the hardness around him. He was sure she was the missing puzzle piece. Every time he doubted life, or love, or any difficult situation, he pictured that moment and remembered that when he came home, he'd be surrounded by softness again, pathetic as it was to men like him.

Kenshin closed the door to Kaoru's room softly enough so she wouldn't hear it and walked to the kitchen with his tea tray. Tomoe's face was engraved in his mind. Despite the problems their marriage had been suffering recently, he still missed her.

Misao was throwing up again.

Kenshin didn't really know what was wrong with her; she'd thrown up several times since she arrived with Aoshi and Yahiko. It was still dark outside, but the sounds of her violent retching had stolen him from sleep. Kenshin woke Aoshi, who fled to the outhouse with him. Misao was slumped exhaustedly at the toilet, wearing her western terrycloth sleeping outfit and her hair in a braid. While Aoshi pulled her up by the waist and took her to the kitchen to wash out her mouth, Kenshin made himself useful and brewed tea for her. As soon as she'd finished with it, she fell to her futon and was just about ready to fall asleep.

Kenshin found Kaoru up as the sun was rising, gazing wistfully at the hazy, pale blue sky. "I hope you didn't spend the night awake," he said to her.

She jumped at the sudden voice and turned angrily to meet his eyes with hers. "Stop sneaking up on me! Remember what happened last time?" She growled.

"Yeah… I'm sorry, Kaoru dono. I'm just really used to it." He realized then that her eyes were red rimmed and a little bit puffy. He looked at the bundle she was holding to her chest and saw that it was the kimono from yesterday. "That looks quite beautiful." He commented.

"Do you want to see it?" she asked, spreading it out on the walkway.

He nodded politely and eyed it more closely as he sat down next to her. The details were amazing, and the ingenious color blending was surely by the hand of only the finest artist. "It's very beautiful." It does you justice, he was tempted to say.

"It is. I just love the luminescence of the fireflies and the moon… I kept wondering how much it had cost…"

"Which mercilessly seduced, head over heels nobleman gave you this one?" He asked jokingly.

Kaoru glared at him. "Mercilessly seduced? Do you take me as a whore, Himura Kenshin?"

Kenshin's eyes widened. "No, no, no, I don't. I was joking! Don't worry!" he babbled nervously. But he felt a need to lighten the mood, and continued to speak in a cheerful voice. "I don't think you purposely seduced them… it could've been an accident! I mean… the way you walk IS a little suggestive and all," He added with mock seriousness. But he didn't know Kaoru long enough to see her explosive side.

Kaoru elbowed his chest so hard he fell back with a constricted groan. "Congratulations! So many people since I got rescued have given me the look that says it, but you're the first person to actually tell me to my face!" She shot angrily to her feet, gathered up the kimono, and walked briskly into her bedroom, muttering angry things about stupid, quick to judge people who have decided she's really a whore when they don't know anything about Gohei at all.

As she was about to close the door, she turned to Kenshin, who had his arms wrapped around his stomach and was still partly grimacing from the memory of her hard blow. "You don't know what happened in that place. What you saw wasn't even half of it. So don't be like everybody else and call me a whore. Even if it is a joke, you don't know. So stop acting like you know!" She slammed the door and furiously wiped her eyes. She cried all the time now, and she felt so pathetic about it. She didn't want to do more of it.

Kenshin watched the door for a few seconds more and started banging his fist into his head, calling himself all sorts of expletives.

She's just been rescued from Gohei, who treated her not only like a whore, but cut her up and burned her with coals. She was gang raped too many times to be counted. Her 'friends,' friends that she trusted, have turned their backs on her and looked at her like it was her fault. People who know about her and Gohei only from gossip have jeered at her and whispered things about being a whore to each other and to her. Here she is, in the comfort of her own home, which she has opened up to several others with bad pasts, and she can't escape from it even then, because the guy who owes her for being allowed to stay around has called her a whore like the others. Stupid Kenshin. Stupid retarded stupid know-nothing stupid Kenshin.

He felt very much like he'd insulted Kami himself and had been turned into a piece of dirt that was now being stamped into the rest of the ground. I think I hate myself, he thought. I think I'm a stupid prick. I've made her feel bad about herself. I've probably made her cry now. She's been mistreated so badly and still bears the scars of her torture, and she's still early in healing, and you make it worse by suggesting that she's a whore. Even though you were joking, of course, it's still not right. Stupid Kenshin…

He got up. He walked to the door. He slid it open a little bit. Kaoru was sitting in front of her dresser, brushing her raven hair and observing her face closely in the mirror, her free hand unknowingly on one of the burn wounds at her collarbone.

"Miss Kaoru?" He said softly. She was brushing her hair, and the sight was so perfectly beautiful half of his mind didn't want her to stop and acknowledge him.

"What?" she asked sharply.

"About earlier… I'm very sorry. It wasn't right to joke about it, especially after…"

Kaoru put down her brush and studied him for a long time. Her scrutinizing eyes never left his face. "I'll accept your apology." She said. She gave him a shallow nod and continued to brush her hair, but the hurt was still in her eyes. Kenshin felt worse.

"Kaoru dono, Megumi and Sano and I talked last night, and we'll allow you to send out the notices. The day after tomorrow you can start teaching." And I can start watching, he added silently to himself.

Kaoru looked up at him. A ghost of a smile lingered on her lips. "I'm glad." She returned to her brushing and the corners of her mouth returned to going straight.

Kenshin froze. Being the bubbly, cheerful girl she is, he'd expected more than an 'I'm glad.' She was still upset.

"You know, I saw a new fabric store in the market yesterday afternoon. It's top notch and very classy. We missed it while we were, um, running…"

Kaoru looked at him and nodded cautiously.

"As an apology for my foolish moment, I'll take you there. I'll spend as long as you want to in there, too."

Kaoru smiled genuinely at him. "And I thought you had terrible apologies…"

They walked down the street in the same manner as before; side by side instead of one behind the other. Kaoru wore a white kimono with a dark blue and grey obi, tied into a butterfly knot. She stared at stall after stall until they reached the fabric store, and Kaoru hurried in to admire the fabrics and the setting's graceful ambiance. The floors were polished wood, the kimono were on polished wooden hangers, and the place was painted tastefully in a light purple shade. He had wondered for a moment if she'd afford it, but then remembered the case full of money in her bedroom. As she picked out kimono after kimono, Kenshin had even decided to be helpful. He wanted to bring her smile back to her face, and would give up all dignity for a moment or two to do so.

"I really like this one," Kaoru said, holding up a violet kimono of slightly thicker autumn satin, bearing designs of birds inked to exquisite perfection.

"It would look very nice on you, Kaoru dono. But I think you should wear blue more often." And it was true. He remembered how, when she held the blue bundle of silk in her arms that morning, it had pulled her eyes even more into view. On the day of the fight, too, her blue kimono had given her eyes an even more striking look.

"I guess so… I don't know. But I love this one." Then she smirked wickedly. "I can always buy several more blue kimono when I'm done trying this one on."

"How long will it take?" He asked her, his voice quavering slightly.

"As long as I want, your exact words." She said with a sardonic smile.

Kenshin hid his dread and decided that the crown molding lining the purple ceiling was awfully interesting.

Kaoru disappeared into the changing room. When she came out around ten minutes later, with an assistant to help with a nicely coordinated obi, she looked beautiful. The obi was black, making her tiny, curved waist look even smaller, and the swell of her hips fit the pad free kimono nicely. He'd realized, like Keisuke, that curves on a woman, especially like Kaoru's, were more beautiful than any pillar shaped geisha in Kyoto. She shook her head when the assistant offered her the contoured pillows to fill out her waist.

"I want people to see me the way I really am. Plus I can't stand how hot they make me on a sunny day."

Kenshin stared long and hard at her as she carried out a small conversation with the assistant. She made every other woman in the store look like a wallflower. She did catch many eyes, particularly the eyes of men passing outside or buying kimono for their waiting wives. That reminded Kenshin of his wife. Don't get too close, he told himself. Don't. If you do, then… you'll wreak havoc. Besides, Kaoru's a tomboy, pretty faced or not. She's not the woman you'll want to be with. She can't cook, she only knows how to clean floors and dishes, she doesn't sew, or arrange flowers, and her gardening is a mess. The only things that ever survive in it are her mint leaves. Tomoe does all these things well. She takes small, proper steps, walks two proper paces behind a man, stands perfectly straight, keeps reserved and calm, and when you tell her to do something, she'll do it, no argument. Unlike Kaoru, who jumped Sanosuke trying to get her letters back.

Although he wouldn't lie. He rather enjoyed watching her attack Sano. But, he would have enjoyed it more without being elbowed so hard in the stomach.

Either way, funny or not, Kaoru's not a lady. Ladies get married. Whatever she is, those kinds of people don't. Unless their husband is very quirky, young, and loves to have a ton of fun without the work, she won't work in a marriage. But she is pretty mature sometimes… and her voice is the voice any person would want to hear if they were to get to sleep. It was soft, but lilting and rolling and passionate. She could guide a person to sleep over the hills and valleys in her articulate and well-paced speech. When she raised it, it sounded beautiful, not shrill or eardrum bursting. She has a comforting way and comforting means. He could tell, from the way she wears her heart on her sleeve, that before she needed the comforting, she gave the comforting.

Kaoru looked his way and snapped him out of his pondering. "Well?" She asked. "What do you think of it?"

"It's very pretty." He said lamely.

Kaoru smiled at the assistant. "I'll take it."

The assistant nodded at that and got ready to pack it up, but Kaoru stopped her and said she had more to buy.

Two hours and twelve kimono later, she settled with the violet satin kimono, three light gauze silk kimono in a beautiful mix of blues, and a deep red and gold kimono boasting white and blue flowers that was just as strikingly passionate as her. She added a few obis to her list. The assistant and shopkeeper were very surprised to see her buy so many in expensive satin and silk, considering she was a young girl in a very drab, starched white kimono with a solid blue obi and grey lining buying kimono that added up to more than the amount for a western dress. But she obviously had the money. When she took out her wallet and they got a sneak peek inside, it was crammed with yen. Kaoru was currently eyeing a beautiful silk kimono that was way out of her price range. It was the kind that belonged in an antique collection.

A man who had been in there, looking distinguished and rich, had had his eye caught by the blue-eyed beauty in the corner. Her hairstyle made her look more mature, because instead of a sporty ponytail, she'd put it into a chopstick bun. She looked older and more refined.

"Excuse me, Miss," The man said, his tone and accent sickeningly posh.

Kaoru turned to him and smiled politely. "Hello."

"I see you're admiring that kimono up there. It is, I'm sure, a replica of the one given to the niece of the last Shogunate."

Kaoru raised her brows. "How do you know this?"

"I possess the original. This one's almost an exact replica; same fabric, same colors, same depiction… but the original is the original. Would you like the copy?"

"Oh, I appreciate your generosity, but it's your money, and I've already bought five kimono. Another isn't necessary, and neither is a gift." She bowed.

The man smiled down at her. "Take it as a gift. You do know, don't you, that you might not always like the gifts you receive, but you should accept them anyway? I'm sure, though, that you will like this gift."

Kaoru smiled at him. "It isn't necessary. But thank you for taking the trouble to consider it." She pushed past him towards Kenshin, holding her shopping bags tightly to her side as he went through the men's kimono rack.

"You all right?" he asked her.

"Hai. Thank you for accompanying me." She replied.

"It was no trouble." He said, pulling out a dark blue men's kimono with silver embroidery.

"Do you want it?" She asked him.

He was about to look up at her and refuse, but a box blocked the view of the woman he was escorting

"Here you are," the man said. He smiled at her and gently handed her the slim, low box for storing kimono.

Kaoru smiled at him. "Demo… I can't accept this."

"You can, and you should. You will like the gift, I know you will, and it's polite to accept gifts given." He said, smiling fondly.

Kaoru smiled back. "I thank you very much, sir."

"Anything for a lady," he said. As he turned to leave, Kaoru called him back.

"At least tell me your name, sir?"

He smiled. "Bosuyaki Uchida, the president of Imamura Corporations."

Kaoru froze. The president of Imamura Corporations had just bought her a kimono. She smiled warmly at him and bowed low. Kenshin, on the other hand, didn't know what to feel. Jealous? Protective? Angry? Upset? Did he have a right? He was relieved when Kaoru decided to leave and return home, clutching the box closely under one arm while her shopping bags occupied the other.

"Kaoru dono," Kenshin said politely.

She turned to him. "Hai?"

"Up in the hills, there's already snow. It's quite far away from here, but I was wondering, if you are still upset, if I could make it up to you by bringing you there to see the lake?"

Kaoru smiled genuinely at him then. "That would be nice. I'll think on it sometime."

When they got back, Kaoru shut herself in her room again and tried on the kimono Mr. Bosuyaki had given her. It was a work of art, truly something that deserved to be hung on a wall, not on any female body, no matter how lovely the woman. She tried on the others. She realized, with quiet uncertainty, that she found the one Kenshin had picked out was much more beautiful than the antique.

Pull yourself together, Kaoru, she told herself. He's married. His woman is a proper lady. She's probably exquisitely beautiful and very refined. She probably never raises her voice and waits on his hand and foot. She's probably perfect.

Then Kaoru shook her head. Would you want to be a speechless, surrendering woman who waited on her husband's hand and foot? "No way." She said aloud. With that, she pulled the kimono off, hung it up in her closet, and changed into the one Mr. Bosuyaki had given her. She needed to give Kenshin the impression that she wasn't interested. She feared she'd shown more of her attraction than she would have realized. And, she put it on to flaunt into Megumi's face how beautiful men thought she was; so beautiful, in fact, that they would buy her silk antiques just to see how beautiful they would be on her. Megumi always talked about being the prettier one. Of course, she was much more womanly and ladylike compared to Kaoru's both girlish and tomboyish style, but many had told her that she had the more beautiful face. She shrugged. She wouldn't be able to judge. She was jealous of Megumi and her cylindrical, small hipped body; one desired by so many women. She envied her ability to stay womanly and ladylike and prim throughout all obstacles. And what about her? When Kenshin first saw her face… her first impression on him was probably drab, dirty, and ugly.

She shrugged and slid the door to her room open. She didn't care. Or maybe she did… she just shouldn't. Ok Kaoru. Get over it. Think of… umm, Keisuke. Not. Mr. Bosuyaki. Not. That guy who was part of the group that raped her but always hung back and helped her when she needed it. Not. Bad memories. Ummm… "Sanosuke!" Ummm… Not. Then, she burst out laughing. No way!

"What is it, Jou chan?" Sanosuke called from somewhere in the house. Kaoru covered her mouth and trembled with barely concealed but silent laughter.

"Nothing," She called out, and she traveled down the walkway to the kitchen, where she suspected Sanosuke would be sticking his head into the pantry, larder, or bucket of chicken teriyaki from today's lunch.

Instead, she found Kenshin, pulling out a box of the horribly misshapen turnips she'd grown from the pantry to the counter.

He looked at her and smiled. "Do you want to help?"

Kaoru blushed and shook her head. "I'm a terrible cook. I'll ruin what you're making.

"It's all right." He said reassuringly. "Do you want to observe, then? Like Megumi dono had said… observing someone at work will help you improve faster."

Kaoru nodded and began to watch him. He suddenly became nervous knowing he was under her watchful eyes. He thought he would mess up and repel her. But why would he care if he repelled her? He had Tomoe. It shouldn't matter. But it still did.

Kaoru, though, was the furthest from repelled. She was caught up in the grace of his movements and the concentration in his features. She stared at his eyes. They were doubtlessly beautiful. When it was over, she was so taken by the smoothness of his guiding movements that it took a few seconds before she could respond to his call.

"Kaoru dono?" Kenshin asked.

Kaoru shook herself and met his eyes with hers. "Hai?" Her voice trembled slightly.

"It's ready. The rice is finished, and the miso has been boiled properly. But before I finish with the fish and the beef, would you like me to add teriyaki sauce or just Beef Misobu?

"Umm… Teriyaki for the fish and Misobu for the beef," she said dazedly. He turned his questioning glance from her face to the pot. What was she thinking about? Probably that man, Mr. Bosuyaki. She was wearing his kimono, anyway.

Kaoru pulled away from the kitchen and ventured into the yard. Yahiko almost dropped his bokken at the sight of her. "You're… you're wearing an antique?"

Kaoru smirked at him. "Yes, I am."

He snorted. "What old and blind rich man bought the kimono for you this time, busu?" he asked her.

It was Kaoru's turn to snort. "He was rich, yes, but he was also young and could see quite well. He's the president of Imamura Electric."

Yahiko gaped at her before turning away to continue his swings. Kaoru inwardly smiled. He'd returned to his old, bratty, insulting self.

"You have no idea how weird it is." Sanosuke said, walking into the porch to admire her kimono. "To see my little Jou chan getting hit on by so many men." He said.

Kenshin heard him from inside and smiled. Maybe she would get married, and be okay in it, too. He didn't know her well enough to judge yet.

Kaoru gave him a playful shove.

"And you have no idea how weird it was to go to my rooster head's house in the morning and see him waking up with some girl."

Sanosuke was tongue-tied. Yahiko's jaw dropped. "Really? Was she from that place you took me to where you told me about what Tsubame and I would get to do on our wedding night?"

Kaoru covered her mouth and turned a deep shade of red. "Sanosuke took you WHERE?"

Sanosuke raised his hands nervously. "Now, now, Jou chan, just think about it for a second!"

"Think about what?" She cried, bearing down on him despite the fact that she was half his size. "He says you took him somewhere and told him all sorts of things about what he'll do to Tsubame on their wedding night!"

"It's actually pretty gross. Especially the way Sanosuke talked about it. I mean, I thought it was just kissing, but…"

Kaoru fumed. "Sanosuke! He is ten years old, his ears are young, and he's grown past his age enough already! You have some explaining to do!"

"I- it sounds worse than it is, Jou chan!"

She turned red and purple from anger. She turned to look at Yahiko. "Yahiko, where did Sanosuke take you?"

Yahiko shrugged, a tinge of pink touching his cheeks. "There were women dancing. Except their kimono were on really loose and the only thing keeping them together was a little chord. And whenever they twirled, the kimono opened up, and… they had these strap things on their legs, and men would slip cash into them."

Kaoru turned, shivering with anger, to where Sanosuke stood, looking at her nervously. "Jou chan?"

She was very, very angry. "Was that the time you told me you were taking him to the amusement park last month?"

Sanosuke nodded mutely.

"I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!" She ran for him. Sanosuke looked on and decided he'd probably be able to hold her down. But he was wrong. Her fist went flying to his face and struck him in the jaw. He flew back and landed at Kenshin's feet just as he opened the door to question the screaming.

Kaoru suddenly blushed. Kenshin would think she's a banshee now that he's seen that, and he'd be afraid of her. "Umm…"

"What did he do now?" Kenshin asked.

Kaoru mumbled something incoherent, keeping her eyes to the floor and trying to hide her red tinted face.

"What was that?"

"He took Yahiko to a Jorou Ya, all right?" She covered her eyes with one of her hands, feeling terribly embarrassed. He'd think this dysfunctional excuse for a family was relentlessly intoxicated.

But he didn't think anything like that. He broke into laughter.

Kaoru dropped her hand and glared at him. "It's not funny, all right? Yahiko could be scarred for life, or worse, he'd become addicted to it!" She blushed furiously.

"No I wouldn't, busu!" Yahiko piped up. "Tsubame would kill me!"

Kenshin laughed while Kaoru fumed. Again. "Yahiko," she said, advancing towards him in such a persuasive manner he had the mind to step back. "If Sanosuke ever offers to take you somewhere, tell him not to!"

With that, she turned furiously and walked into the house through Aoshi and Misao's bedroom. Misao was sitting up, reading a magazine, and when Kaoru entered she put a finger to her lips and motioned to Aoshi's sleeping form beside her. Kaoru smiled and nodded.

"Afternoon nap?" Kaoru whispered.

"Hai."

"Aoshi must be tired, then."

Misao gazed at her fiancée's face. "Very. I'm not quite sure why, though."

Kaoru nodded. "Well, I might take one myself. I'm pretty tired. Besides, I have classes to teach tomorrow, and if I don't rest, Yahiko and Sano are bound to give me white hair early in life."

The next morning, Kaoru was overwhelmed by the amount of students pouring in. Word about her dramatic fight with that man had gotten around, so she had several new students. As she chatted to a few of them about what they'd been up to while she was gone, she felt a playful poke in her ribs and, being the extremely ticklish creature she is, she cried out and hugged herself, whirling around to catch the culprit. "Oroido-san!" she cried.

Oroido was a little older than she. He was the best student in her advanced class and sometimes stayed to help out with the beginners. Though she was his sensei, she had deep respect for him.

"You all right?" he asked, smiling his usual smile and holding her at arm's length by the shoulder to observe her. "No bruises, no bleeding, no scars?"

"Not anymore." She said.

"Good."

"Anyway, we have a beginner's class to teach." She looked over the dojo filled with kids. She had a lot more students, now.

After her classes were done and she'd bid Oroido farewell for the day, she looked happier than Kenshin had ever seen. Maybe it was a good idea to let her start again. He loved the way she smiled so freely. She was sweat streaked but still smelled freshly of jasmine when she came inside. Yahiko was eyeing her suspiciously when she walked through the walkway to her bedroom.

"What's the busu so happy about this time?"

"Nothing," she said, shrugging. "It just feels good to teach again."

"Jou chan!" Sanosuke called from the kitchen. "Wanna go fishing?" He poked his head through the doorway and revealed a food stuffed face with a single stalk of shadow benny hanging from his lips.

Kaoru frowned. Where had the idea of fishing come? "Umm… okay. I guess."

"Busu, you're holding it wrong!" Yahiko growled. "It's a fishing rod, not a bokken!"

"Well I'm sorry! I don't fish seven days a week like some of you!" She said angrily. Yahiko had been complaining since they got to the river, and she was dead tired of it.

"I don't go fishing seven days a week…" Sanosuke said, scratching the back of his head.

"Neither do I! Busu doesn't know what she's saying, OR what she's doing."

Misao glared at him. "Brat."

Yahiko shot her a killer stare.

"Fishing always gets you into a bad mood." Kaoru grumbled. "Maybe you should go home. Let the patient adults do everything."

At that, Yahiko vehemently refused.

Kenshin was sitting peacefully at the bank between Sanosuke and Kaoru. She had her kimono separated and folded up to her knees so she could rest her legs in the water. His line of sight kept going back to her legs. How could someone be so perfect? She didn't even know what she did to him. He laughed at himself for being so pathetic. This time it was out loud. Everybody gave him a confused glance.

He froze and put on an innocent smile. "It's nothing," he said, smiling a strained smile.

Kaoru felt a tug on her rod and gasped. "Yes!" She flung the string out of the water with ease. On the end was a giant, live, and angry lobster. "Oh god…"

"RUN!" Yahiko cried, watching as the lobster fell through the air, heading straight for Kaoru. It latched onto her obi with it its claws.

"Should I kill it?" She asked, trembling with disgust.

"Use this," Kenshin said, taking his sword from the sheath. She quickly stabbed the sword into the lobster's torso and it fell still.

Yahiko walked to her and lifted it from her obi. "It's so huge!" He looked like a boy who had found his long lost toy. "Kami Sama, it's huge!" He said.

"Yeah, yeah, we know it's huge." Sanosuke said. He quickly grabbed it from Yahiko's loose hold and lifted it out of his reach. "I guess selling this will pay off half of my debt to the Akabeko. Maybe."

"Hey! That's my lobster! I caught it!" Kaoru cut in angrily.

"There's way more in the river, Kaoru," Misao said. She held up Aoshi's hand. In it was a meager, tiny lobster about the size of a crayfish. "There's plenty like this one!"

"That's the most pathetic lobster I've ever seen." Kaoru said, placing a hand on her hip. Kenshin laughed. "The one Sanosuke STOLE from me is huge! And it's not pathetic!" She turned towards him. "Give it back!"

Sanosuke stretched the lobster to the sky. Even if Kaoru jumped, she wouldn't reach it. So she tackled him.

"Kaoru!" Megumi cried, slightly mortified by this terribly unladylike behavior. Kaoru straddled his hips, disregarding the fact that her kimono had separated and her right thigh was clearly visible as it settled around his waist. She reached out and grabbed his arms, trying to wrestle the lobster from his hold. But it didn't work. He flipped her onto her back and kept it away as she kicked and lashed out. He used his knees to pin her arms to the ground.

"This is war." She said dangerously.

Yahiko's eyebrows cocked in an annoyed manner. They were in such a suggestive position… "Agh. Can't you guys get a room next time?"

Kaoru and Sanosuke looked up, turned red, and decided to disregard his comment. That was a clear sign that they were aware every moment of what they were doing.

"God! They always do this! It was better off when Keisuke was with Kaoru and she didn't do all that in front of us!"

"They've done this before?" Kenshin asked.

"Yeah. All the freaking time until Keisuke came along." He grumbled. "Play fighting is their thing."

Kenshin could see a potential romance between the two. For now, it was just friendship, but what if it turned to love?

Kaoru was still beneath Sano. Sano was still straddling her hips. Her kimono was still open, and her bare, pale leg was still protruding from her garb. Still, nobody noticed how suggestive it was but him. Everybody else looked at it like it was… normal. Sanosuke and Kaoru, wrestling one on top of the other, with their clothes slipping off their shoulders was normal?

Hmm. Maybe that potential romance was already in bloom.

Everybody was either watching and laughing or watching and rolling their eyes. "Perhaps you two should have satisfied yourselves before you decided to take it out into the public," Aoshi said. Everybody stopped. Kaoru stopped struggling and Sanosuke stopped laughing at her. Megumi stopped frowning.

"Did… did Aoshi just crack a joke?" Megumi asked.

"Wow." Misao muttered, staring in mute surprise at her fiancé. "Now I've seen everything." Then, in only a second, she completely changed face. "You can joke! You can joke! Our marriage will be so much more fun!" She'd already leapt into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Aoshi raised his eyebrows, but it was clear that he enjoyed it, even when her tackle threw him to his back on the grass.

Sanosuke was still blinking into nothingness. Kaoru took that advantage to fling her hips sideways and topple him over. In a flash, everyone's eyes were on Kaoru as she ended up on top again.

"Give-me-back-my-lobster!" She demanded, trying to pull it from him.

"It's not about the lobster anymore," Sanosuke said. He tried to remove her, but she stayed put and kept her hold on the lobster.

"Well, you started it! I WAS fighting for the lobster, but now I'm gonna kill you." He flipped her onto her back again. She fumed. "And I'm going to make it hurt!"

"Kaoru, calm down. I'll give it back when I'm sure you won't hurt anybody!"

"You will?" She dropped her arms and smiled innocently, waiting for him to give it back.

He just sat there smiling.

"Well? Hurry up!"

Sanosuke snickered. Before Kaoru realized anything was happening, she found Sanosuke's knees pinning her hands to the ground and the lobster in his sleeve. He smiled triumphantly.

"Sanosuke…" She growled. "GIVE IT BACK!!!" She tried to kick him, but her attempts were fruitless and she may as well have been wrapped around his pinky finger.

"Kaoru…" he warned.

She fell still. Kaoru was one who'd always had random thoughts buzzing around her head. And one of them hit her now as she stared up at his face, charming smile, rather gentle eyes, his hands, though firm, were gentle on her arms and he was positively flirting. He was waving a lobster in her face that both knew she'd never be able to catch, for others wanted it, too, and it belonged not only to her, but to everybody else, in more than one way. It would never be hers… not really. She saw Sano, and all she saw was a lobster she couldn't ever catch.

"Ass! You're being just like Keisuke now!"

"How?" Sanosuke asked, shocked. Where had that come from?

Kaoru glared up at him. "All you do is charm, flirt, and walk away! And I've known you for five years, so don't tell me I'm wrong! And what's worse, I'm one of the many girls you do it to!"

His eyes were mysteriously resolute as he bore down on her. "But know it's only you I'll never walk away from." She managed to slip her hands from under his knees, but he grabbed her wrists and held her back. Then, to everyone's astonishment, he suspended them above her head, lowered himself to her level, and kissed her.

Megumi clapped her hands over her mouth. Kenshin froze. Aoshi and Misao stared. And Yahiko felt like throwing up.

"GAD! HOW GROSS! Sano and Busu!" He cried.

Kaoru was just as shocked, but at the same time, incredibly pleased. She'd never felt so many sparks fly. Not even with Keisuke. She found herself pulling him down to kiss her harder.

When they pulled apart, they stayed frozen in place, staring at one another like they were seeing each other for the first time. Kenshin noticed that one of Kaoru's hands was in his hair, and one of Sano's thumbs was making circles on her arm. His eyes peered into hers. "I've wanted to do that for the longest time," he said in a low tone.

"Oh… I knew it was going to happen! What did I tell you, Kaoru?" Megumi laughed.

Kaoru and Sano reluctantly pulled apart. The look on her face when she tried hastily to unwrinkle creases in her kimono sent everybody into bursts of laughter.

"You know," Megumi said, sitting up and biting slowly into her black plum with a smile, "I think this could be the beginning of something big." But even though her smile was wide and devilish, Kenshin could see the briefest flash of envy in her eyes.


	6. It All Falls Down

Hey :D as you can see, I'm just throwing stuff out at random, finally getting this stuff out of the dark, regardless of reviews and all that. Thanks, Miniwoo and QuetzalCoatl Mistress (i hope i spelled it right) for getting back to me so quickly. And don't worry-Sano's just there to add to Kenshin's frustration. LOL! I'll be updating every few days until I get to chapter twelve and I have to start filling in the gaps in my last chapters.

WARNING: It's a long and twisted road-the story goes way past the walls of the Kamiya dojo. So I know you'll get impatient every once in a while. Just bear with me 

Enjoy!

Chapter Five

It all falls down

Kenshin usually loved crisp autumn mornings. The cool breeze wasn't bitingly cold, but a perfect temperature to keep anybody comfortable. The birds woke early and sang their songs. But when he looked into the mirror, he was wearing a scowl. It had been a whole week. One whole week of Kaoru and Sano making like lovebirds and holding hands wherever they went. He heard them giggling in her room as he walked the halls, and could clearly hear the love in their voices and the way they flirted the life out of one another. It was, to put it nicely, making him sick. This morning, he'd probably go through the same thing. He'd open the door, walk the hall, hear Kaoru and Sano laughing together about something or talking softly or flirting, go to make breakfast, and have to endure sitting at the table with them as they gave one another secret smiles and glances that meant more than the naked eye could see. They were being so romantically sweet he was bound to get a cavity. To top it all off, Misao continued to throw up several times every morning, and now Aoshi was a nervous wreck. Megumi had just given her a medical examination, and when it was finished, she herded the couple frantically into the training hall and none of them had emerged from there since.

Kenshin opened his door and stepped out to see Sanosuke entering Kaoru's room with jasmines.

"Sano?" Kenshin was very confused. It was particularly un Sano-like to give a girl flowers. Even he knew that.

He smiled sheepishly. "It's her favorite flower. You ever noticed how she always smells like them?"

"Hai." He nodded. "Jasmines have a nice, fresh scent." He always did notice it. One of the first things he smelled when he'd entered that room with the others to see Gohei was Jasmine, along with blood, sweat, and sour breath.

"I feel like an idiot." He said, dropping his hands to his side so the flowers brushed against his pant leg.

Kenshin snorted. "She'll appreciate it," he shrugged.

"I guess…" Sano took a deep breath, stuck out his chest, and entered. Kenshin could see through the gap in the door that Kaoru was sleeping peacefully. The morning sunlight filtered through her window and created a luminescence on her already radiant face. Her hair created a messy halo around her head and her arms were spread eagled. Sanosuke closed the door behind him, and Kenshin saw no more.

"Jou chan," Sanosuke whispered, giving Kaoru a little shake.

Her eyes had trouble opening. Megumi had pulled her away from the fishing trip when they were done and Sano had given back the stolen lobster, and the two ladies didn't return until late at night. Kaoru was still very tired.

"Kaoru," Sanosuke whispered again. Her eyes finally pried themselves open. Good god was this girl beautiful. He stared into her newly opened eyes, already wide-awake and full of luster. And the emotions that swirled through them when she looked him in the eyes… There was something about those blue jewels that had startled him ever since they were children. When she was overwhelmed or crying, the depth in her eyes only plunged deeper. Looking into them, he'd felt that he was staring into one of the deepest blue crevices ever to exist. And in the depth of those eyes he was seeing thousands of hidden but emerging emotions he would someday see clearly.

"You woke me up." She acknowledged with hidden amusement.

"I'm sorry," he said, leaning closer to her. "Was it a nice dream?"

Kaoru smiled at him and lay back until her shoulders touched her pillow. "I dreamt that I was in a snowy clearing, but the snow was pink." She frowned as she tried to remember the details.

"Like cherry blossoms?" he asked.

"Yes…" Kaoru nodded slowly. "Like cherry blossoms. But it was winter. The sky was pink, too. And the falling snow was an orange-pink color, like the snow on the ground."

They sat in that comfortable silence for a while, but then Kaoru moved aside on her large futon to give Sanosuke room to crawl in. He settled himself beside her, letting her rest the back of her head in the crook of his neck, and started playing patterns across the skin behind her elbow. "Maybe…" she began, but she dismissed it.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I was dreaming of heaven," she said, smiling widely. "I think I remember hearing or seeing my father."

Sanosuke didn't reply for a while. When he did, Kaoru could hear his voice reverberate through his chest and into her ear. "Do you want to go?"

Kaoru laughed and smacked him playfully on the arm. By then she'd changed positions and was sprawled across him. She propped herself up on her elbows and turned to face him. "I don't want to, Sanosuke. No worries."

He sighed with relief. "Good." He pulled the bouquet of jasmines from behind the mass of pillows and gave it to her.

Kaoru froze when he offered them to her. She stared at the white, sweet smelling flowers with surprise. "Flowers, Sanosuke?"

He swallowed hard. "Hai."

She took them from him, inhaled deeply, and sighed with pleasure. "I didn't know you were so sentimental!" She sang gleefully. Kaoru stared lovingly at the flowers and decided immediately to save them. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and left a moist, very big kiss on the corner of his jaw.

Sanosuke smiled.

By the end of the week, Kenshin had left for a couple of days to see Katsura. Kaoru and Sano had been acting like lovey dovey lovebirds and it drove him crazy. They'd made the transition from friends to lovers so quickly he'd missed when it happened. It was so irritating, he didn't know why it was irritating. But every single day, from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep, he was plagued by glimpses of Sanosuke and Kaoru being the lovebirds they are. Megumi stood on the sidelines and watched, telling him it was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen, but it should have happened much sooner. Yahiko was deeply disgusted, though he looked up to Kaoru and Sanosuke like they were his real family. Kenshin didn't know why Yahiko found it so weird, since it was bound to happen. Aoshi was calm and collected as always, and didn't really talk about it. But his future bride, standing by his side, squealed gleefully at every time she saw them kiss or join hands or embrace. For a terminally ill young woman, she had a lot of energy.

Misao, even though he had deep respect for the girl, got easily on his nerves.

Life there had become so much louder and so much more obnoxious that going home and barely talking at all sounded like the most beautiful thing in the world. He wanted out.

"What do you mean you want to finish?" Katsura asked coolly, taking a sip of his tea.

"I mean, Katsura, that I want to finish." Kenshin replied sarcastically.

"You've never wanted to quit a job early before. Is the girl that bad? Does she have a squeaky voice? Are her friends bad? Is she that ugly? My sources tell me she's quite a beauty."

"Her looks are fine, her attitude is fine, her voice is fine, and her friends are fine. But I've had enough."

"Tell me what's been going on in that house." Katsura ordered casually.

"Lets see… remember Saitou?" Katsura nodded in approval. "He insulted her a lot on the night I brought her to the station. The fifth time, she tackled him and actually managed to get him on the floor. Then she even stole his cigarettes."

Katsura nearly choked on his tea. He laughed hysterically for a moment or two, but managed to collect himself and continue the meeting, a little crinkle present in the corners of his eyes.

"Really?"

"Really. She offered me a place, as you already know, and when we arrived at the dojo, she met up with her friend, Sanosuke Sagara, a street fighter who uses a Zanbatou. I think you'll know him."

"She's friends with him?"

"Best friends. Since she was twelve and he was fourteen."

"I see."

"She took in this bratty little ten year old, too, called Yahiko Myojin. His father was a Samurai. I think you'd know someone by that last name." He said.

"Yes, I do. Now continue."

"And the former leader of the Edo branch in the Oniwabanshu, a man named Aoshi Shinomori, she knows him, too. And she's a best friend of his future bride, that leader Misao. The woman who leads the Kyoto branch. Surprising, isn't it?"

"Very. This girl has her contacts."

"Hai. They've been staying in the dojo for a while."

Katsura nodded. He seemed almost satisfied. "Now, tell me about her. What she's like. How she acts… what's special about her?"

Kenshin nodded. He proceeded to talk of Kaoru in amazing detail, and he didn't seem to realize that he sat a little straighter and had a slight sparkle in his eyes. What Katsura understood from their conversation was that this Kaoru, who is so important to the Lord Okubo, is unfeminine, strong, feisty, daring, passionate, kind, friendly, understanding, and very beautiful. He smirked at the change in Kenshin's attitude. He knew about Tomoe's sneaking around, and had been waiting for a while to get Kenshin interested in someone else without letting him know about the betrayal.

"Kaoru seems very interesting." Katsura observed. "I would be lucky to meet her."

"But… sir?"

"What?"

"I came here originally because I wanted to finish up and return home. I've had enough of Tokyo."

"Enough of Tokyo?" Or enough of falling for someone else? Katsura added silently.

"I want to go home." Kenshin said firmly.

Katsura sighed angrily. Sometime, he'd have to let Kenshin in on the news. "No, Kenshin. Your work here isn't done yet. Kaoru is still a target, and if she gets kidnapped again Lord Okubo will drop us from our appointment before we even make it."

Kenshin groaned angrily. He couldn't spend any more time in that dojo… He'd go mentally insane.

By the time he got home, things had quieted down. Misao left a note saying that she and Aoshi were out for the night, and Yahiko was exhausted from his last lesson and had collapsed onto his futon. He hadn't moved since. Kenshin could only wonder at what Kaoru and Sano were probably doing. But to his surprise, he passed the dining room and saw Sanosuke sitting at the table and reading a book alone. He had a slight smirk on his face, like he was expecting something surprising to happen. Kenshin shrugged and moved off to his room. But a sliding door slid open, revealing Kaoru standing in the doorway, and he stopped in his tracks.

Her hair was half up, half down, and fell in masses of tendrils down her shoulders and her back. She was in the royal blue kimono in satin they'd bought at the kimono store, but it was wrapped loosely around her, letting the neckline plunge and the obi fall apart. It was so loosely tied he wondered how it had kept together this long. The kimono hung so loosely, her shoulders peeked out of the dark fabric, contrasting heavily with her fair skin. Her lips were a deep, dangerous red, and the rest of her face was made up like she was ready to seduce somebody. Kenshin's mind was corrupted by visions he'd never voice out.

Kaoru had her head lowered and her eyes to the floor, but years of training had taught her how to detect another's presence through instinct. "Mr. Himura," she whispered cheerfully. Only then did she look up at him. He was about to return her greeting, but she held out a hand to stop him. "Shhh…" she whispered, placing a finger on her lips. "Sanosuke and I are at war."

Kenshin raised a brow and covered his mouth to keep in the laughter. "Did he take the lobster again?"

"Money." She grumbled under her breath.

He smirked. "So what's the get up for?"

Kaoru laughed quietly, ignoring the slight tremble in her voice. "Don't make me tell you. Use your imagination."

Kenshin thought on it for a moment, then turned so red she wanted to laugh out loud, but didn't want to alert Sano. "I've tried all I could on him today, but it didn't work. He either sidestepped or ran out of the room as I came running in with a weapon. I'm using a different tactic now." She smiled sinisterly.

"Mind if I watch? I could use some comedy," he admitted.

"Keep to the darker corners," she said.

He watched her saunter enchantingly to the open doors of the dining room. Sanosuke barely looked up. He seemed to be on to her. She knelt a few feet away from him and reached out to run her fingers down his cheek with a feathery touch. He flinched.

"Sanosuke…" she drawled sexily. He couldn't help but stare at her.

"Yes?" he asked, doing his best to keep firm.

She got on all fours and crawled closer to him. Both males watched as her hips and shoulders moved with animalistic grace towards him. Sanosuke took note of the gentle plunge her neckline took, showing off her soft, pale cleavage. He felt heat fill his shirt. She placed her hands on his shoulders once their bodies were pressed together and pushed him down to the ground. She straddled his waist and began to kiss him, with one hand tangled into his hair and another hand searching gently for his pocket. Sanosuke seemed too caught up in the sudden invasion to realize. When she caught the twine sash in the money pouch, she pulled away and smiled triumphantly. "A-Hah!"

"What?" Sanosuke asked casually, leaning back to stare at her.

Kaoru waved the pouch in front of his face. His smile dropped. "HAH!" She jeered. "IN YOUR FACE!"

Sanosuke glared at her. "Kaoru, how did you get that? It was in my pocket…" He trailed off, and understanding dawned on him. "Oh." He sat up, using one arm to support himself while the other was draped casually over Kaoru's back, and glared harder into those spellbinding eyes. "You know, that's pretty sneaky, seducing a poor, innocent guy into taking money from him," he chided playfully.

Kaoru smiled. "Those of you who are both poor and innocent are anywhere but here." She said. "Besides, can you really call it seducing when the woman has already won the man?"

Sanosuke shrugged. "I don't know. Now, stop with those logical questions. My head is hurting already."

Kaoru smiled and rolled off of him. She stood and smiled triumphantly. "I'm going to change, and I'm going to return this," she said, shaking the money pouch, "to where it belongs."

She started to walk away, but Sanosuke pulled Kaoru back by the butterfly knot of her obi. "Wait," he said. But he wasn't prepared for the look on Kaoru's face. The obi was so loosely tied, it unraveled then and there. The kimono fell. But thank god she was wearing an under robe, never mind the fact that it was even more loosely draped over her than the actual kimono.

Kaoru glared at him. "Try to envision how lucky you are that this time I was wearing an under robe," she said angrily. She turned away.

Sanosuke grabbed her leg before she could walk away. "Nan de?" She growled irritably. Sanosuke pulled her down and kissed her.

Kenshin turned away from the door and almost retched. This romance thing was making him sick. He needed to go out and have a drink.

Sanosuke was back outside by the time Kenshin had gotten his wallet to leave. "Where are you going?" he asked casually.

Kenshin shrugged. "I wanted to get a drink somewhere."

Sanosuke smiled and got to his feet. "I tell you what. The guys and I wanted to have a drink and some fun gambling tonight." He said. "I was gonna show up late and entertain the missy a little while longer, but we can go right now. It'll be fun."

"I guess," Kenshin said, trying to be polite but sounding non-committal anyway.

"Sanosuke!" Anjou cried in welcome upon seeing them. "You're damned late!" Kenshin looked around. There were about a dozen people in the room. It was a very intimate night out, only for close friends.

"Here's the big man now!" Another one piped.

"I haven't seen you since you told us about the little missy!"

"Lucky bastard… you know, I was about to go for the kill myself after Keisuke left, you were taking such a damned long time…" Another laughed. It was pretty obvious he'd been drinking. "Fine piece of a woman that one is," he took another gulp of Sake.

Everybody else in the tatami room yelled in agreement.

"Now, now, you guys, shut up." Sanosuke said. "You gotta remember she's mine."

Somebody's sarcastic laugh came from the left of the room. Sanosuke and Kenshin turned to him. He was sitting cross-legged in a circle of people, his arms folded, looking very full of himself. He glared condescendingly at Sano. "Why the hell she settled down with you, I'll never know. She's had a bad string of guys, and you're only another one to add to the list. She needs a man." He held his head high and stuck his chest out proudly.

"Fuck off, Kaneshiro." Sano spat.

He suddenly rose to his knees. "You think you can talk to me like that, bastard?"

"I don't see why you deserve the proper respect," Sano retorted.

"I'm the fucking drug lord, here, Tori Atama."

"Oh, yeah, the missy really needs a fucking drug lord giving her shit and coming around with his cheap, drug selling ass."

The room was filled with laughter, and Kaneshiro shot menacingly to his feet.

"You wanna take this outside?" He announced angrily.

"Yeah! That's the best idea you had all month, dumbass!"

"Hold on, now." Anjou said frantically. "We don't need a fuckin fight in here. Sano, shut your ass, and Kaneshiro, don't tell me a few insults can break your self control."

Kaneshiro slapped Anjou away, and Anjou slapped him back. They went outside to have a fistfight, but nobody else followed. Kenshin was under the impression that everybody here was used to such random happenings in a fistfight.

"Anyways, is this the guy who saved her?" A man at the back asked, looking at Kenshin with a studying eye.

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm not bringing him here to get everybody all congratulating." Sanosuke shook it off. "We're here to get drunk."

"You wanna gamble?" Came a woman's voice.

Sanosuke frowned. "Who's this?" It was a voice he didn't recognize. A tall, sultry woman, sitting in the middle of the crowd, got to her feet with a sardonic half smile. Her eyebrows were raised challengingly and there was a mysterious glint in her eyes. They were black and bottomless, and her face was lovely and angular. Her length of black hair flowed down to her hips, and she was in a female ninja outfit. Her 'skirt' was blue, with slits on either side going up to her thighs. Her top was short, revealing a considerable amount of midriff. Her hands were clad in black and blue battle gloves, and she wore black boots that looked like they came from somewhere far away. One hand rested casually on her hip, while the other held a pair of dice in an outstretched arm.

"I'm Okon, of the Oniwabanshu branch in Kyoto. I arrived tonight looking for Misao and Aoshi. I know they're staying at your place."

"What do you want them for?" he asked, looking over her skimpy dress with a suspicious eye.

"I have news for them that I can't let anybody outside the clan know. Except maybe Kaoru."

"Hmph." Sanosuke grunted. "Why is it always Kaoru?" he asked under his breath.

Okon walked forward with a strange, sexy grace, and Sanosuke swallowed hard. She leaned forward, propping herself up on her arms as they rested on the table. "Because the girl is awesome." She said, and she smiled lopsidedly.

Sanosuke nodded, smiled, and raised his brow. "I think you know what you're talking about now."

"Anyways, I stopped by to have some fun. I'm a pretty good gambler, so give me a try." She said.

Sanosuke took a vial of Sake from a tray and took a swig. He set it back down and wiped his mouth. "Okay. But no backing out."

Okon smirked. "Whatever." The guys moved aside for her to kneel at the table. Sanosuke came along and sat down opposite her, while Kenshin kneeled at the sidelines to watch. The game began.

"Even one and one." Okon declared.

"Okay," Sanosuke said, biting his lip. "Odds three and four."

A man shook the dice for them, threw them into the bowl, and watched.

"Snake eyes!" Okon cheered, pointing to the dice.

Sanosuke plopped his chin on his hand. "Damnit."

The game went this way for a while. Sanosuke won only two out of nine rounds, and Okon was getting bored.

"Forget this," She said, grabbing the dice and tossing them aside. "It's boring when I keep on winning." She allowed herself a moment to think on what they could do next. "Okay," she said after a while, smiling deviously. Everybody's eyes were locked on her. She truly was one of the more beautiful women around, plus she was just the kind of woman they'd love to take to their friends, if not their mothers.

"Got any ideas?" Kenshin asked.

Okon grinned, grabbed a very large jug of sake, and slammed it onto the table in front of Sano. "I challenge Sanosuke Sagara to a drinking contest!" She announced.

Everybody cheered, and Sanosuke's lips curved into a smile. "Hmm… Nice idea, Okon. It's my favorite kind of contest."

"All right," she said loudly. "Somebody needs to give us a signal."

"All right," a young man came forward. His hair was long, glossy, and perfectly straight, and he wore a headband. His attitude was calm and collected.

"Tsunan!" Sano chirped. "What the hell were you doing hiding in the crowd?"

"I wasn't hiding. You just didn't notice," he said, and he placed an identical jug of sake before Okon. "All right. Are we gonna measure the drinking by vials or jugs?" He asked everybody.

"Since we got a lady here," A middle-aged man said with a belittling smile, "We should measure it in vials. We don't wanna put her up to something too challenging, do we?"

Okon smirked. "Hmm… Apparently, you don't think I'm capable, do you, Bekku?"

"Of course I don't." He said, raising his brow at her.

"Oh well. I'll just have to prove it to you. Then we'll see how right you are."

Soon, every vial in the room was brought to the little table, filled, and divided evenly between the two. A couple volunteers sat at the competitors' sides with the full jugs ready to refill the empty ones when the game begins.

"Okay. What's the rules?" Asked Sano.

"Lets see… We can say that the one who drops dead first loses, and the one who doesn't wins. Or, we can wait for the person who finishes all of the vials first, and just not get them refilled." Bekku said, smiling sinisterly.

"Hmm… what do you think?" Tsunan asked Okon and Sano.

"I say the first one to drop dead loses, and we keep the refills." Okon said.

Tsunan turned to his friend. "Sano?"

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see who drops dead," he said.

"Okay, then. You two guys, make sure you refill the empty vials as fast as you can." Tsunan said, eyeing the refilling duo. "Ready?" He asked. Both nodded. "All right. Get set… DRINK!"

Four minutes and six vials of sake later, Okon and Sano were still going head on. They were at similar paces, and the outcome of the competition seemed unpredictable. Sanosuke and Okon had already consumed what amounted to one whole jug, and were downing another one with difficulty. The effect of the alcohol kicked into gear faster for Okon than it did for Sano. She was already a little dizzy, and her movements, although quick, were unsteady.

"Oh god…"Okon moaned. She stopped to hold her head.

"Come on, Sano!" Tsunan cried. "She's stopped! Go faster!"

Sano, taking the encouragement with pleasure, picked up speed. But as he raised the lips of another vial to his mouth, the entryway slammed open and a sake cup hit Sano clean in the center of his head. He dropped the vial, and it smashed on the table.

"Sanosuke," he heard a frighteningly familiar voice. "What in the world are you doing?"

A few men at the neighboring tables turned around to look at the new arrival. Kaoru was standing at the door, still wearing the royal blue kimono, but more securely around her now that she was out of the house. It still dipped low enough to reveal a little of her collarbones, and it was still loose enough to open as she walked, revealing both her white and blue under robe and a little bit of her right knee. Her hair was still in the same style, and her make up was still in place. Her anger, anger at finding him incredibly drunk once more, seeped away almost before it came, and her full lips broke into a sunny smile. The ones who were sobered enough not to miss that smile were lucky to be seated, lest their knees go weak.

Kenshin had expected her to be angry, but instead she leaned casually against the doorframe, rested a hand on her hip, and laughed. The sound was pleasant, like lightly tingling bells or a gentle, high-pitched wind chime. "You look ridiculous."

Sanosuke scratched the back of his head. "Uh… thank you very much?"

Kaoru looked over at the woman who was knocked out with her head on the table. "Hey, isn't that… Okon?"

While they looked from Kaoru to Okon, and from one kind of beauty to a completely different kind of beauty, Anjou came inside with a bruise on his cheek and his head down, but he stopped when he saw Kaoru.

"Is this Sano's Kaoru?" he asked. He'd never really seen Kaoru. He was more of Sano's drinking partner, and Kaoru wasn't exactly fond of tagging along to get drunk.

Kaoru frowned at him. He was lost for words.

Somebody laughed behind her. "Hah… Anjou's a pathetic bastard. He never does well around women." Kaoru turned towards Kaneshiro.

"Kaneshiro…" Kaoru said, feigning pleasure at seeing him again, but looking somewhat disgusted to those who knew her well enough to see it. "It's nice to see you again."

"Same here," he said. "I think the last time I saw you, you were sixteen, am I right?"

Kaoru nodded, but wanted desperately to end the conversation. Sanosuke hated this guy, and he hated Sano. So she didn't really like being around him. He flirted mercilessly and thought way too highly of himself.

"You got prettier. I swear, if you get any prettier than you are now, I don't know what I'll do!" He laughed at his own joke, but no one else did. "So what are you here for?"

"I just need to give Sano something." She said.

"Yeah…" he said under his breath. He looked over to Sanosuke, who had fallen into a drunken stupor just like Okon. Kenshin was currently trying to revive him, and the others at his table leaned in and whispered and rested their gazes on the two at the entrance. "I heard about you and Sano. Trust me on this, little bird. You're wasting your time with a guy like him."

Kaoru glared at him. "I've known him for five years, and I trust him with my life. I can't think of a better person to give my love," she spat. Her eyes swirled with hatred that Kaneshiro, in his less than sober state, didn't really see.

"Come on, Kaoru… Your words are empty."

Kaoru brushed past him and knelt at Sanosuke's side. To prove to Kaneshiro exactly what she meant, she wouldn't hold anything back.

"It looks like Okon isn't very well…" She said softly, staring across to Okon, who was still sprawled over the table like Sanosuke.

"Yeah… She came with news for you and the others, but I don't think she'll be able to give it to us tonight." Kenshin said.

"How much did they drink?"

"It was a competition. Both drank six vials of sake."

Kaoru shook her head and placed her arm around Sano's waist. "You baka…" Kaoru scolded quietly. Everybody had taken to watching the exchange as Kaoru coaxed Sanosuke's head from the table and ran her fingers lovingly down his cheek. "Wake up," she said.

Sanosuke turned his heavy head to her and tried to smile, but it was drunkenly lopsided. "Hello there, koi, when did you get in?" he asked.

Kaoru frowned. "A few minutes ago, Sano, when I said you look terrible. Remember?"

Sanosuke didn't realize his mouth was open as he shook his head. "No."

Kaoru smiled kindly at him, like he was a 'special' person in need of 'special' care, turned away, and slapped her forehead. "You know, I came over here because you forgot your wallet and I wanted to give you some money, but it seems like you'll be too sleepy to spend any."

Sano's head had shot up at the words 'give you some money.' "You will?" He smiled brightly.

Kaoru grudgingly pulled her wallet from her sleeve and presented him with a roll of notes. Sanosuke smiled sweetly as he placed the roll somewhere safe, and then, without even a word of farewell, he dropped his head onto the table again.

"Well," Kaoru said, looking at Kenshin, "I'll leave you guys alone, and maybe take Okon with me." She cast a glance her way. Okon's lovely mouth was wide open and she drooled onto the table.

"You know, you can stay a while if you want," said Anji.

"Yeah." Bekku cast her an approving glance. "Things this pretty never come by a man's night out. Stay a while."

Kaoru looked at Sanosuke. "I don't like a drunk Sano. I'm going to the outhouse, and then I'm leaving."

Kaneshiro stared after her as she exited through the back door and went to the hallway bathroom. A moment later, he left, too.

"You know, Sanosuke, she's quite fine," said Anji.

Sanosuke opened one eye, completely forgetting to lift his head, and glared at him. "So?"

"You got a good catch." Genji said. "She has a fine figure."

"You know," said Tsunan, "I would love to use her as a model in one of my paintings. I'd wanted to do that since the first time I saw her, but I only just remembered to ask."

Sanosuke lifted his head. "Tsunan, your depictions of women usually have one shoulder of the kimono dropped enough to see a breast, a pair of bare legs, or a completely visible stomach. I wouldn't want Kaoru doing that."

"Don't worry, Sano! I wouldn't make her do that kind of stuff. She's too young, in any case."

"You know," Genji said, "That makes a nice picture. I could imagine her naked."

Kenshin glared up at him. He knew from the beginning that Sano's friends just wouldn't grow on him.

"Genji, I'm warning you." Sanosuke threatened.

"You know," Kojirou began, "She has a nice pair of breasts. Even through a three-layered kimono I can tell that one is pretty grown. I would pay just to get a look at em. Name your price. Or will I have to go for them in secret?" Kojirou had never liked Sanosuke, and he was very much enjoying the fury in Sano's eyes. He shot up, along with Kenshin, and walked towards him.

"I dare you to repeat that, you bastard." Sanosuke growled. He already had a grip on Kojirou's shirt.

"Now, now…" said Tsei. "Don't get too worked up. We're complimenting you. You picked a fine woman."

"Yeah!" said Kojirou. "Gohei was one lucky man. So were his assassins. You know, I don't know why I didn't sign up to work for him when I had the chance…"

Sanosuke and Kenshin were really getting mad, but it was that one comment that made them flip.

"What the FUCK did you say?" Kenshin roared.

"You heard me," Kojirou smirked. "I would've done the same if she was held captive in my house. I would've done it all. And don't worry, I know what I'm talking about by 'all'."

Sano and Kenshin had had enough. Sanosuke was red with fury. While keeping the peace sounded nice enough, he didn't have the manners to care, so his fist flew alongside Kenshin's, and they both struck Kojirou so hard he went flying. When he landed, it was more than five feet from where he last stood.

"Now, if anybody else wants to keep their bones intact, they'll never talk to me about Kaoru or Gohei or anything to do with my woman ever again! I'm making the choice to keep her clear from your lives for her safety. You're so damned twisted that you'll fuck anything even remotely attractive!" Kenshin was at his side, looking just as intimidating with his hand resting casually on the hilt of his sword. His face was twisted with disgust.

"All right, you two, all right. We'll keep away from her. Just calm down, all right?" Genji stuttered. The others were slowly backing away, completely aware of Sanosuke's skill and the fatality of his fists.

Kaoru leaned forward and studied her face in the mirror. The hallway bathroom was very westernized, with several cubicles in one long room, and a wall of mirrors to one side.

"I cannot believe I went out like this…" she groaned to herself, wincing at the heavy, overdone makeup. In reality, most women went out wearing just that amount in their everyday lives, but for Kaoru, whose face never made contact with more than rosewater in the morning, she felt like a cheap prostitute. In any case, she put on that amount of make up to seduce Sanosuke, so it made sense.

"I can." She heard that hated voice behind her. "I think it looks rather nice like that."

Before Kaoru could turn around, Kaneshiro had pressed his body against hers. She glared at his reflection in the mirror as he started to trail his hands down her neck. He continued to run them down, and when they hit her shoulders, he pulled her kimono until it dropped loosely, supported only by the obi, and looked so loose that if it fell a little lower, Kaneshiro would see exactly what he wanted to.

"Kaneshiro," she said calmly, "get your hands off of me."

He fingered the thin material of her kimono shirt. "What will you do if I don't?"

Kaoru didn't waste a moment. Her bokken was tied to her leg. She reached down, knowing Kaneshiro was probably too busy admiring her cleavage to realize what she was doing. Because she was caught between his body and the counter, getting ready was a challenge.

"What are you up to?" he asked her, pulling on the kimono shirt so that it fell dangerously low.

Kaoru let out a short hiss and slammed her bokken into his thigh. He cried out in pain and stumbled back as Kaoru went in for the kill. She swung at him furiously, hitting him this way and that, on his shoulders and his arms, making sure she didn't give him the space to unsheathe his sword.

"Bitch!" He cried. He grabbed her bokken, twisted it out of her hold, and threw her onto the counter.

"Get off of me!" She cried as he mounted her.

"Hah! I'm gonna show you just what it's like to be with a real man…" She started to struggle, but he pulled out his sword and held it to her neck. "Behave, now, and don't move. If you do, it'll all be over."

Kaoru shut her eyes. She didn't know what to do. He was going to…

"SAAAANNNNOOOO!!!"

Sanosuke shot up. He looked at Kenshin.

"I think that was…" Kenshin stared towards the door.

"Jou chan!"

They ran past the others, knocking people out of their way and knocking over vials of sake. They didn't bother to open the shoji door, and instead ran through it.

When they got to the bathroom, followed by a few others, they froze. Kaoru was on the counter, being held at sword point by Kaneshiro as he was pulling her kimono apart. He froze.

Sano didn't bother to say anything as he stormed towards the two and hauled Kaneshiro away from his girl. Kaoru stumbled from the counter towards Sanosuke and buried herself, trembling and tearstained, in his arms.

"Kaneshiro, what the hell were you trying to do?" Kenshin asked, his fists clenching and his hand tight on the hilt of his sword. Sanosuke seemed too busy making sure Kaoru didn't have a nervous breakdown to deal with him.

"What's this?" Sanosuke asked furiously upon seeing blood roll down her neck. He tilted Kaoru's unwilling chin all the way back and observed the slice in her throat. It bled profusely and made Sano tremble with rage.

"You fucking bastard!!!" he cried, running towards him with his fists held high. Kaneshiro was able to block his first attacks, but when Kenshin came along to hold him down, too, the odds were clear that Kaneshiro wouldn't know that the punches would keep on coming, long after he'd turned into a bruised, bloody figure under the barrage.

"Tilt your head back for me," Megumi said briskly, keeping a hold on Kaoru's chin. Sanosuke, Kenshin and Kaoru had stumbled back to the dojo, and Kaoru's throat wouldn't stop bleeding. "Does this hurt?"

"It hurts a little bit." Kaoru admitted, "but it's nothing I can't handle."

"It's very serious. The bleeding needs to stop. I'll get some scarves to apply pressure, but for now you just lie back and keep your wound facing up."

"Hai." Kaoru massaged her neck as she lay back and stared at the ceiling. Sano and Kenshin were sitting to one side of the room, silently observing her.

"Do you… do you need help?" Sano asked Megumi, his eyes never leaving Kaoru.

"I'm all right. Lift your head," she ordered to Kaoru as she slipped the scarf around Kaoru's neck and tied it tightly. "This should hold back the flow for a while. Sanosuke, hot stones, please."

Kaoru frowned to herself. "Megumi?"

"What is it?"

"Do you think I should burn my hair off?" She asked. Kenshin broke into laughter. She glared at him. "It's a perfectly sensible question! I mean, none of this would happen if I burn all my hair off."

"No, Kaoru, just keep training and you'll be able to handle men like Kaneshiro without losing your beautiful hair."

"Yeah," Sanosuke crooned tenderly, kneeling beside her to run his fingers through her silky mane. "I'm sure it took you ages to grow it out. It'll be a complete waste of years to cut it all off, let alone burn it."

Kaoru smiled at him, and her eyes followed him as he turned away to place the stones on a mesh wire above the fire to heat. They waited a little while, staring at the fire as it danced harmoniously, until Megumi told Sano to take them out.

"We need to apply something hot to your neck, to stop it from bleeding. I'm using stones. It's all right, isn't it?"

Kaoru nodded. "Whatever's best. You're the doctor."

"All right, then. Lift your chin all the way up, and take a deep breath." Megumi took one of the hot pebbles from the mesh with her tongs, but Sanosuke grabbed her elbow.

"Megumi, are you sure? They're hot stones…"

"She gave me permission."

"But," he winced. "Gohei…"

Megumi glared at him. "Hush. Let me do this."

She placed the rock on the center of the open wound, and it hissed at contact with moist flesh. Kaoru's breath caught in her throat and she tensed up. Sanosuke slipped her hand into both of his.

Kenshin watched Kaoru's features from a distance. It was so much like he was reliving that night that he felt a sudden urge to look away.

_Gohei took one coal between the metal tongs and placed it slowly on the girl's revealed stomach._

Kenshin watched as the memories shadowed over her agony-twisted face.

_The girl tensed up. More blood dripped from her fisted hands._

She instinctively bit her lip. The hand Sanosuke held between both of his turned into a fist.

_Kenshin knew the girl was restraining herself by the way she kept tense and the way her fists tightened. Steam rose from the coals._

Kaoru started to pant. Sanosuke stroked her face. Megumi stayed calmly in place, looking very relieved to be herself and not Kaoru at that moment.

_She let out one short, tiny gasp at the way Gohei's sudden jerk had caused a coal to fall on its side and destroy new skin, and that was enough for Kenshin to handle. He cracked._

Kenshin got to his feet. Tears started to stream from Kaoru's tightly shut eyes.

"Megumi, I'm sure the stone can be removed now."

Megumi shook her head sternly. "Not yet, Kenshin. We have to wait a while."

Kenshin's hand tightened on the hilt of his sword. Memories flew through his mind behind closed eyes, plaguing him.

Sanosuke looked just about the same. His thumb unknowingly traced circles on Kaoru's hand. He watched another tear escape from the corners of her closed eyes, and another. "I'm gonna kill Kaneshiro for this."

Kaoru started to shudder. "M-Megumi… take it off." She inhaled slowly. "Please…"

"I can't. Not until the rock's heat has sealed the slice in your vein all the way. Otherwise, it'll never stop bleeding."

"Misao, don't you think we should just…"

"Shut up, Aoshi!"

Everybody turned away from Kaoru for a moment to look towards the noise. The training hall entrance burst open, revealing Aoshi and Misao, lending their shoulders to a very drunk Okon. Upon seeing Kaoru, Misao dropped her half of Okon so fast Aoshi forgot to support her and they fell in a tumble to the ground.

"What on earth are you doing?" she cried, rushing to see Kaoru.

"She got cut by one of Sanosuke's errant friends." Megumi snarled.

"Hey, I never liked Kaneshiro. Do you think I would be friends with a guy who'd do this to Kaoru?" Sanosuke growled back.

"Either way, Megumi-san is treating Kaoru-chan. You two," Aoshi said, gesturing to Sano and Kenshin, "need to help us get Okon out of her drunken stupor. If the Oniwabanshu sent her out randomly, she's got to be carrying important news."

"Maybe I can help," Megumi piped up, finally pulling the hot stone from Kaoru's neck. She let out a sigh of relief.

"How can you help, Takani-san?" Asked Aoshi.

"There's a certain medication used to quickly ward off hangovers and drunken stupors," she said, eyeing Okon. "It's been a long time since I've last seen Okon drunk, but I still remember how bad it was. She'll need a strong dose."

"Whatever works," said Aoshi.

"Just let me work with everything in the kitchen, and I'll be done in a minute. Misao, can you patch up Kaoru's wound?"

"No problem," she said, looking to where Sanosuke knelt by Kaoru. She smiled at the lovely picture the couple made as he ran his thumb over her wound and whispered something that made her smile.

To Kenshin, though, the sight made him want to be sick.

When they were all huddled together in the kitchen, they made Okon take a seat on the platform. She only fell onto Aoshi's shoulder as he sat beside her and, to say it simply, drooled.

"Ugh…" Aoshi groaned.

Sanosuke started laughing at the picture Okon made, but his laughter died down when Aoshi shot him a long-suffering glare.

As Megumi mixed a sticky green paste into a special tea, Kenshin, Sano and Aoshi attempted to get Okon awake. It was clear, though, that she wasn't waking up any time soon.

"She'll wake up when I give her this," Megumi said. "It tastes very bad, so make sure she doesn't spit it out."

It took Okon ten minutes to wake up with a pounding headache but a clear mind. When she opened her eyes, four faces, all of them familiar, welcomed her. "Ugh… how did I get here?" She asked.

"You got drunk. Misao and Aoshi took you back here," Megumi said.

"You said you had something to tell us." Sano added curiously.

"Oh!" She jumped up. "I need to tell you! It's very important!" Her voice was rushed and panicky. To be relaxed enough to go to a drinking place before she delivered the news, she'd have had to consume a lot of alcohol on her trip.

"Well then, tell us!"

"The Oniwabanshu knows this before any of it was supposed to be leaked out. One of our spies found out accidentally. It has to do with Shishio Makoto."

The name rang a bell in Kenshin's memory.

"He's been planning to take over. He wants to set Kyoto on fire with five hundred of his soldiers lighting each and every one, so that once it starts, it is impossible to stop. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Makoto will be using all means necessary to take over Japan. He's got big plans for the imperialists standing in his way. He has such an army and so many good slashers… it'll be a hard put to stop him. The Oniwabanshu needs to get involved. This is all I've found out so far, but it is bound to get worse, if it's not worse already. They want as much help as they can get, from strong fighters like Sanosuke and Aoshi. If Misao could come along too, then that would be even better."

"No." Aoshi said suddenly, in a cold, firm voice. He looked to Megumi. "You know why."

"Yes, I know why." She confirmed.

Sanosuke and Okon looked towards Aoshi. "Why?" they asked in unison.

"Because…" Megumi looked towards Aoshi and he nodded briefly. "Misao's pregnant."

Everybody froze. Aoshi kept his eyes out of view. Okon kept staring at him, and tried to imagine a pregnant Misao in a maternity kimono, but could only see her in that cute little ninja outfit with a protruding belly.

"Then that would explain…" Kenshin began.

"Yes, that would explain the morning sickness." Megumi said.

"God… I thought it was hard enough to imagine little Misao being a wife," said Sano, "but a mother? So soon? She still prances around in that little outfit and does target practice with kunai."

Megumi glared at him. "I happen to think Misao will be a good mother. She is gentle and loves taking care of small things, including babies. She'll do fine, and besides, she'll have Omasu to help."

"I just… Aoshi! You didn't wait!" she growled angrily.

"What?" he blurted.

"You know Okina's gonna kill you, right? For impregnating his surrogate granddaughter before you're even MARRIED!"

"Well Okina will not know." He stated confidently.

"What do you mean 'Okina will not know?' You're gonna return and she'll be boasting an oversized belly!"

"Damnit, Okon, shut up for a second!" He growled.

"Fine. But the Oniwabanshu wants to attack Shishio as soon as is possible, so you will have to return with me within the next week."

Aoshi looked at Sano and Kenshin. "Misao's the leader of the Oniwabanshu. Bringing her to Kyoto will only be throwing her into a shark tank, especially when Shishio gets the hint that our group will be standing in his way. She will be much safer here at the dojo, where Shishio will least expect her to be. Can she stay for a while?"

"Of course." Sano said. "She'll be fine."

"Hai." Megumi agreed. "I'll give her round the clock treatment."

"Good." Aoshi said. Then he looked at Kenshin and Sanosuke. "We need to discuss this in further detail with Okon. Himura-san, it is your choice if you wish to be involved or not, but we'll have you in the discussion either way." He said.

Megumi took that as her cue to leave and check on the girls. Everybody watched her leave, and as she closed the kitchen door, they huddled around the fire to talk.

"So… what tactics do he plan on using?" asked Aoshi.

"Who he considers as the ten best fighters in Japan will be at his side. Whoever tries to defeat him will have to face those ten, first. And remember, the grand inferno is only a distraction for him while he works on other things. What those other things are, the Oniwabanshu has yet to discover."

Sanosuke slammed down his tea and smiled confidently at Okon. "So how many people do you need, and how strong do they have to be?" He asked.

"I… I'm not sure. It depends on—"

"To fight Shishio alone will take a fiercely skilled fighter. To fight all of his men before fighting him, you will need twenty. He has strong lackeys, and he himself is strong."

"How would you know?" Asked Okon with a frown.

"I battled with him head on once. But it was interrupted, and he was supposedly executed by the Shinsengumi for shaming them. But I'd known from sources that he was alive, and getting stronger. All these ten years, he has been healing. They burned him alive as punishment. I know he will be furious and merciless."

"So then…" Okon looked all of them in the eyes. "What do we do now?"

Sanosuke stared at the fire, then at the place that had become his second home, if not his first. "You can count me in. I know I have the skill and the drive to do this, so I can't just sit by."

"Good. I am very aware of your skill."

Kenshin looked directly at Okon. "It's not for me to decide if I'm in or not. But I'm sure that when I leave Tokyo and return to Otsu, he'll be waiting to get me over to Kyoto."

Okon nodded. "And, Aoshi… I do think Misao's skill could be a valuable asset, and she's definitely capable of doing this to become our leader at barely sixteen, but since she's with child… we are counting on you."

"It's my duty to do so." He said suddenly. He stood and started towards the door. "There's a spare bedroom left over through the hallway. Get some rest." He said. Okon nodded and got to her feet.

"Aoshi," she said gently.

"What is it?" he didn't bother to turn around.

"I'm sure Misao will understand… maybe even feel proud of you to do this while you'd rather be with her."

Aoshi stared at the door, thinking on what she said. The last thing he wanted to do was leave while Misao was pregnant. But… "Okon," he started to say, but when he turned around, she was already gone.

Suddenly, both he and Sano had understood Aoshi's worry. Agreeing with him, the two followed as Aoshi left to go to the training hall. He stopped at the open doorway, and Kenshin and Sano walked no more than a foot into the room. They all felt smiles touch their lips.

The three ladies were asleep. Kaoru and Megumi shared a pillow, but they were on different sides. They slept facing the doorway, keeping their blankets tight around them. Misao rested her head between them, in the middle of the pillow, and slept on her back, facing the ceiling and draping her arms over her stomach with a content smile.

For a while, the three of them only stood there watching, admiring the happiness on their oblivious faces and the beauty of peace they seemed to be surrounded in. They sat down.

"Are you sure you two want to do this? I'm sure the Ishin Shishi will have all of this sorted out." Kenshin said.

Aoshi and Sanosuke both looked up to stare at their women. Both felt the need to smile at the perfect picture they made, resting so peacefully like that, but their smiles were only rueful grimaces.

"Misao is pregnant. I would do anything to stay with her."

"And… I've only just gotten Kaoru back. To be honest, I've only just gotten her, period. We spent too much time dancing along the line between friendship and love, and just when we finally take the leap, I've gotta go and risk my life for some bastard mummy's ideals."

Aoshi nodded. "I wasted two years of my life being away from her so I could travel around with my comrades and protect justice where protection is needed. Now…"

"Yeah. But I can't back down. This is Japan's future we're talking about. Even if we stayed back with our women, we'd be living the future in a bad place under bad rule."

"Exactly. We have to do it. I'd be ashamed of myself if I didn't."

Aoshi and Sanosuke hadn't taken their eyes from their two women, lying peacefully and dreaming deeply, unaware of the challenges facing the ones they loved most.

"When will you tell them?" Kenshin asked.

"I don't know…" Aoshi said honestly. He'd never be able to stand Misao's grief stricken face or the tears running down her cheeks. "I think I'm afraid to." He admitted sincerely.

Sanosuke rested his chin on his hand. "The day after tomorrow we'll tell them. Let's just make the next day the best it can be. Let them feel like queens. Then, when the day is over, we'll let them go to sleep thinking things will be perfect. And then, the day after, we'll tell them." He said.

Kenshin nodded. "It'll be easier that way."

"Don't you think it'll be cruel? To lead them on into thinking things will be perfect, and then break the news to them that they won't?" Aoshi asked.

"It's not cruel…" Sanosuke said. "For once, we should think in the present. Not what's gonna happen afterwards, or what's already happened. We'll just let them enjoy themselves for once."

"I agree." Kenshin said. "They're your women, but I know my wife would very much appreciate it if I did it for her." Kenshin said. He felt a pain in his chest. Tomoe…

"Fine." Aoshi said. They departed, sullen, confused, and broken, and none of them had a good sleep that night.

The next day would be the day to remember. That's what Aoshi and Sano recited to themselves from the moment they'd awoken from a pathetic half hour of sleep. Aoshi planned to take Misao to a picnic in the Sakura Field. What he'd do afterwards, he would never voice to Kenshin or Sano. Sanosuke planned to keep Kaoru at home and give her an incredibly beautiful breakfast he had Tae help him set up. Then, he'd give her a signed contract stating that he would do whatever she wanted him to for the whole day. If she told him to jump naked into the well, he'd do it. But Sanosuke had no doubt in his mind that Kaoru wouldn't have him do that; the water in the well was fresh and pure, and he would 'contaminate' it.

Misao and Aoshi were having a brunch, so they had a few hours left to linger in the house. After a normal breakfast in which everybody was present besides Kaoru and Sanosuke, Okon cornered Misao.

"I know your secret…" she said devilishly.

"What?" Misao frowned, feigning innocence. "What secret?" She smiled nervously.

Okon placed her hand on her hip. She didn't have to say anything for Misao to explode.

"Who told you!? Was it Megumi! You'd better not tell anybody! And if Jiya finds out, you're dead! And what's worse is that Jiya will kill me before I can kill you!"

But Okon squealed gleefully and pulled Misao into a hug tight enough only to be performed by an Oniwabanshu lady. "Congratulations!!! Little Misao is going to be a mother!!!"

Misao blushed. Before she could say anything, Aoshi entered the room. "Misao, please come with me. We can take a walk before we have our picnic."

Misao turned to Okon again. "He's being so sweet today… Oh, I can't wait for the bliss of marriage!" She didn't really have a reason for why a flash of guilt and regret passed through Okon's eyes before she smiled.

Aoshi beckoned to her again, and she came. "Lets pick out some maternity kimono, Aoshi, just to be safe in case I can't get any later." She clung to his arm and pulled him forward.

Aoshi smiled ruefully. How he'd last for a long time without her, he didn't know. He didn't want to try guessing, either.

Kenshin watched Kaoru's eyes open. It happened slowly at first. Her eyelids had twitched, and she tried to open her eyes to the morning gleam, but ended up failing. Only when Kenshin shuffled to block the light did she manage to open them.

"Uhhh… ouch…" she moaned, putting a hand to her wounded neck. She looked at Kenshin. "Morning."

"Morning, miss Kaoru." Kenshin said.

Kaoru frowned when she noticed an arm settled heavily around her waist and a warm body fitting into hers. She sat up and stared at the sleeping face of Sano.

"He stayed with you all night. Just to make sure he'd be there if you had a nightmare."

Kaoru blushed. "How… how does he know about my nightmares? How do you?"

Kenshin stood, taking her awakening as his cue to leave. "The walls are made of paper, and people check on you sometimes."

Kaoru didn't have the time to say anything, because he left so suddenly she hadn't realized it at first. She turned to look at Sanosuke. He was just waking up.

"Ohayo, darling," he said, giving her a wide-toothed grin. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Megumi gave me a medication to ensure my sleep was a dreamless one."

"That's good."

Kaoru got up, pulling her waist from his hold, to brush her hair. She kneeled at her dresser and began, stroking gently and enjoying the way the light shone on her glossy, blue-black mane. All Sanosuke did for a while was prop himself up on both arms and watch her. She turned to smile at him. He smiled back.

"I'm just going quickly to the outhouse," she said.

"All right."

As Kaoru opened the door and stepped out, Sanosuke called to her.

"Kaoru?"

She turned her head to look at him. "Hai?"

He smiled ruefully at her, something she wouldn't understand until tomorrow. "I love you."

Kaoru's smile was all he needed to know she felt the same.

"And I love you. I think I always have. When I was with Keisuke, I felt differently."

"How?" he asked, slightly worried.

She walked towards him and knelt by his side to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "When I was with Keisuke, I didn't feel the things I feel with you. I didn't feel like if I was without him for more than a few days, I'd go insane. I didn't feel like if he left, I would die. I didn't feel like he was the only reason I kept on living. I didn't feel my heart skip a beat whenever he touched me. But with you… with you I do."

Sanosuke felt a thousand stabs of guilt work their way into his heart. Without any warning, he pulled her briskly into his embrace and kissed her. It was a kiss so full of emotion Kaoru felt her knees go weak. When they did, he pulled her up against him until every inch of her skin that could possibly touch him was touching him. She allowed him to push her back until her head touched the futon, and ravaged her with all that he was. His lips touched her neck, her jaw, her collarbones… she felt electricity pulse through her spine.

"Sanosuke…" She let out something that was almost a moan.

"Kaoru…" His breath misted onto her neck. His hands rested firmly on her hips, but they traveled upwards. His fingers were spread apart as far as they would go, so that she could feel his touch in as many places as possible. They slid up until they were at her underarms. His thumbs were touching the edges of her breasts. His feathery touch sent her into a state that was like nothing she'd been into before. As she was on the verge of devouring him, a voice pulled them apart.

"Busu! Oi, busu!" He called.

Kaoru glared towards the door, and looked back at Sano. She blushed.

"Well… I'd better see what Yahiko wants and go to the outhouse…" she said, sliding away from him. She blushed when she realized she'd had to untangle her legs from around his waist to get up.

Sanosuke watched as she left. How far would they have gone if Yahiko wasn't there to interrupt? He bowed his head and suddenly wondered how he'd spent fourteen years of his life not knowing she existed, and the other five years not loving her. He'd been too busy chasing a certain foxy doctor.

He retreated to the kitchen, where Megumi was sitting at the table, accompanied only by her green tea and looking wistful. He sat down at the table with her, but neither really said anything. When Kaoru came in, she was dressed in the violet kimono she'd bought with Kenshin, and wore a wide gold and orange obi in a drum knot. Sanosuke smiled. He couldn't wait to see the look on Kaoru's face when he took her to the training hall and she saw the pallet he'd prepared for them. He'd really splurged getting the breakfast and the decor together, and it was so beautiful he knew Kaoru would be at a loss for words.

He opened the door for her and waited for her reaction. He knew this would be a day to remember.

**Review please?** 


	7. The Tears

Hey there  it's been a really long time, and the last favorite I got reminded me that I have a story sitting here with at least another ten chapters of it unposted and unread. Sorry about such a big delay. A lot has happened in the past year, and as you can see from the sneak peek of my newest story, waiting, I have graduated from past stuff and I'm now writing about real, modern people and all their psychological bullshit  I hope you enjoy the burst of leftover chapters though. Thank you :D

Chapter six

The Tears

"So… the Oniwabanshu is planning on attacking Shishio… and you're both putting your lives on the line to do it." Misao repeated, looking shocked. Kaoru was in a similar state. Everybody was present, including Yahiko.

"Well…" Okon said, "I know you'll come to understand it, Misao. Shishio's a dangerous man, with a dangerous plan, and the both of you happen to be with two of the strongest men in Japan." She said.

"But…" Misao looked at Aoshi. "I'll be pregnant… I need my husband with me. How long can he stay with me at the Aioya?"

"Well… see, Misao, you're the leader of the Oniwabanshu. In Kyoto, you'll be a constant target for Shishio." Aoshi said, looking pained by the threat. "Once they know you're pregnant, they'll try to eliminate anyone from your bloodline or mine…"

Misao stared at the floor.

"You'll have to stay here, at the dojo. Shishio will never find you here."

"But…"

"It's for your own good." Okon agreed.

Misao chose that moment to blow up. "YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY BACK HERE WITHOUT YOU? YOU REALLY ARE A RETARDED, PRISSY, OVEROBSESSED, OVERWORKED, ARROGANT, EMOTIONLESS, GIRLY BASTARD!!!"

Kaoru saw the need to pounce in Misao's eyes. She let out a roar as she ran forward, but Kaoru caught her at the waist and pulled her back. "Misao, please listen to what he has to say!"

Misao tried to run forward. Sanosuke was cowering against the wall, Okon was sighing, Megumi rolled her eyes, Yahiko quavered… but Aoshi was just sitting there, completely still. He knew that Kaoru was strong enough to hold Misao back, and he would never turn his back on his pregnant bride-to-be.

"Geeze, Misao, please try to calm down!" Kaoru cried, but Misao threw herself forward and brought Kaoru to the ground with her. Kenshin, in that instant, joined Sanosuke at the wall. Kaoru lost her grip on Misao, but just as suddenly pulled her back. After Misao had finally given up, Kenshin caught his breath.

"I have been through life and death situations in the revolution. I have had to battle against countless villains, and I'd endured the sight of many deaths. But never in my life have I seen something so… terrifying."

Misao shot up and bore down on him. "SO YOU THINK I'M TERRIFYING, HUH? Keep it up and I'm gonna SHOW you terrifying!" Kaoru grabbed Misao's braid and pulled her back. "GET OFF OF ME, KAORU!!!" She roared.

"I swear…" Kaoru sighed. "It has to be the raging hormones that come with pregnancy…"

After Misao had settled down and Sanosuke and Kenshin had been coaxed to remove their backs from the wall, the conversation continued. Megumi and Kaoru, though, had been placed on Misao-duty, to make sure she could be restrained should she decide to blow up again.

"Shishio is willing to kill anybody who gets in his way," continued Okon. "He will set fire to Kyoto and kill innocent people, and while that's going on, he will overthrow the government in Tokyo with ten of Japan's best fighters. We need even better fighters to defeat him. The Oniwabanshu will have all of their men and women ready to put out every fire and restrain any soldier setting a fire. If necessary, we will kill. The strongest, though, including me, Aoshi, Omasu, even you, Misao, if you weren't with child… we would be waiting in Tokyo with Sanosuke to hold back Shishio's forces. If possible, we'll ambush his temple and kill him as soon as possible. Whatever we can do, we will do." Okon stared upon the worried faces in the room.

"But… Shishio is one of the strongest fighters known to man. And… his lackeys… Aoshi, you can't do this!" Misao declared. Megumi and Kaoru instinctively grabbed Misao's shoulders.

"I have to." He said sadly.

"But… other people get to sit home like bums while you do all the fighting! That's the way it's been for a while! Why can't you be one of those bums for once?"

Aoshi frowned. "Those 'bums' do not have the ability that I do. Because I am capable of defeating Shishio, it's my duty to fight. For those too weak to do it, their duty is to stay out of the way."

"But you've risked your life so many times…" she whispered.

"I know…" Aoshi said. "And I have to do it again."

Kaoru looked towards Sanosuke. "You're going too…" she stated, not bothering to ask since she knew the answer already.

"I am." He nodded briefly.

Kaoru closed her eyes. "When… when do you leave?"

Okon sighed apologetically. "Three days." She said.

"Three?" Kaoru opened her eyes. "Does it have to be three?"

"It does. We have a vague idea that the inferno is going to begin in a week's time. But it could always happen sooner. That is why we need to act fast."

Kaoru rose suddenly. She looked like she was having difficulty hiding her emotions. "Okay," she smiled a fake smile. "I guess we'll have to get them ready tomorrow. Megumi, you can help."

"But, Kaoru…"

"What?" She looked very impatient to get somewhere private. She wanted badly to cry.

"I'm going to Aizu tomorrow afternoon. Dr. Genzai wants me to pick up some certain herbal mixes and directions for making Aloe Vera jelly. I'll be back in a week, so you don't need to worry about me."

Kaoru nodded and strode quickly out of the room.

"Sulking tree?" Misao asked knowingly.

"Most likely." Sanosuke said. "I would follow her, but… it's pretty hard to fit through that hole unless you're a nymph like Kaoru."

"Kaoru went through a hole to a place called sulking tree?" Kenshin asked. "What…???"

"She calls it haven, but it's really just her sulking tree. It's a forest, but there's one particular tree, hanging right over the Buddhist shrine and the koi pond." Sanosuke smirked. "She's been going there to sulk since she was a kid. She told me her mother used to come there and call her down, and she'd always ignore her until she got really hungry. As for the hole, the place has a wall to one side, but there's a hole big enough for her to fit through. So instead of walking all the way around the neighborhood to get to the entrance, she just slips through the hole right across the street from here."

"It sounds nice. The term sulking tree seems pretty amusing in some ways."

"Anyway," Okon said, changing the subject. "You two, Sanosuke and Aoshi, you should start packing."

When Kaoru had finally run out of tears to cry, she got down from the guava tree and stared into the pond. The koi were all alive and swimming aimlessly around. She dipped her small hand into the water, holding her sleeve back with the other, and watched the fish swim past her and slide their flanks against her palm. She smiled and rewarded them with the tops of the algae growing at the surface- the parts they tried to get, but had to swallow down with the gross stuff at the bottom. They poked their protruding lips to the surface where the algae was scattered and sucked them in. Kaoru smiled.

"I have a lot of stuff to deal with…" Kaoru said quietly. "I don't know if it'll turn out right or not, or if Buddha is on my side. But I will probably see you all again tomorrow."

She knew the fish couldn't hear her or understand her, but she still liked to talk to them and pretend they were listening. She knew it was pathetic, but it was still, in some ways, comforting.

She got right to her feet and smoothed her kimono. As soon as she got home, she was going right to the kitchen for tea. She said a long prayer to the Buddha on the shrine and kissed its jade-green forehead, but she would find out at home that fate wasn't on her side.

"Megumi…" Sanosuke said. "Got any space for a roosterhead?"

Megumi smiled genuinely at him. "Not packing?"

"I was. But I need a break. Thought I'd spend some time chewing on an apple in the kitchen."

"Go ahead," she said. She was mixing something together that Sano didn't have a name for.

He pulled an apple from one of the drawers and leaned over the counter next to Megumi. For a while, the only sound was Sanosuke's crunching and chewing and Megumi twisting the pestle around in the mortar, crushing sweet smelling seeds and herbs together. But Megumi knew that, since this could be the last time she sees him if, god forbid, he loses to Shishio, secrets would have to be told. So after a long silence, she spoke up.

"Sanosuke…"

"Yeah?" he looked at her casually.

"I've… well… I've been thinking. Remember before you and Kaoru, when we… we used to joke about being together?"

"What about it?"

"My 'pretend' thing for you… it was real." Megumi bit her lip anxiously.

Sanosuke stiffened. Megumi looked away. Then, in a heartbeat…

"Megumi?"

"What?"

"Turn around and look at me."

As she turned her head, he grabbed her, pulled her body to his, and kissed her.

Megumi went rigid. She was… she was kissing Sanosuke. But she relaxed.

Sanosuke seemed to have lost all restraint after feeling her lips on his. This was the woman he'd been deathly attracted to since they met. He knew it was more lust than love. But if he could feel this lust every day, and feel this sudden pleasure every day, he would force himself to love. His hands trailed up her body, making her tremble in all sorts of ways as he felt the flesh that he'd always wanted on his fingertips. Megumi deepened the kiss. Sanosuke trapped her between his body and the counter. And then…

"All I want is tea, Yahiko, and don't worry, I'm all— " the voice stopped. Megumi and Sano pulled apart just as Kaoru realized that what she saw was real. "Sanosuke…" she whispered. She was frozen in place.

Yahiko's hand tightened on his bokken. Nobody dared move. The silence seemed to stretch for a million miles as everybody waited for someone to say something.

Kaoru dropped her hand from her gaping mouth. She was trembling with too many boiling emotions to count. She turned away, and slid behind the walls of the dojo, and paced back and forth, breathing shallowly with stress.

"Oh my god…"

She spoke unintelligibly to herself, or to the sky, but nobody who'd see her would know which one, and covered her face with one hand. She felt sick, as if her insides were being ripped out of her, and cupped her face in her hands, not to cry, but to calm herself down and hide pathetically from the world while she tried to calm the cresting wave of shock. She heard both pairs of footsteps behind her and didn't need to turn around to know. "Grab your stuff and get out." She said in an undertoned but frighteningly clear voice.

"Kaoru…" Sanosuke started. "Koi…"

"Don't you dare think you can use an endearment on me ever again, Sanosuke. Grab your stuff and get out."

"But… Kaoru…" Sanosuke stepped forward and reached for her, but Kaoru drew back angrily. Her fists were at her sides, and they shook as she tightened them further.

"Don't you ever touch me again. Not ever. Now grab your stuff and get out." She looked like she was on the edge of cracking, or breaking, or exploding, or something of the sort…

"But… Kaoru…"

"Just…" Kaoru stamped angrily and shut her eyes. "You have a place at the Ruffian Row, damnit! So it's not like I'm throwing you out on the street!" She cried, her voice trembling. "Now get out! Get your stuff and leave! And don't come back here!" She cried. Yahiko was at her side defensively, appearing to share her feelings so strongly he hated Sano and Megumi as much as she did. He took a step closer to her, just to let everybody know he was at her side.

"Kaoru, please let us exp—" Megumi started, but Kaoru cut her off.

"And you! Just because you treated my wounds does not mean you get to betray me like this! You don't! I had the mind to think you actually cared!" Kaoru cried. "You and I have been close friends for years, and you suddenly do this?" The tears were streaming down her cheeks. She bowed her head and covered her face in her hands. "You knew how happy I was to be with Sanosuke, Megumi, you knew…" she cried.

"Kaoru…"

She dropped her hands and looked up at Megumi and Sano, and then looked down at the scars on her wrists –remnants of Gohei's torture– and she knew she hated them both. It was so intense she felt it burn on the inside. "I told you to get out of my house!" She cried, throwing the closest thing she could towards them. Kaoru left the room with tears running silently down her cheeks. Even through a river, she could see that things would never be the same again.

Yahiko watched her leave and made a move to follow, but stopped to look at Megumi and Sano. He shook his head slowly at them, his eyes etched with hate. "You know all she's gone through, and still you do this? You're lower than dirt." He spat. "I'm only eleven and even I know how generous and selfless she is. And you do this…"

"Yahiko, sometimes people can't hold back…"

Yahiko froze. "That's your excuse, Megumi!?" He cried. "This is my house, too, and it's not yours or yours," he said, looking at them both, "so get out of here!"

"Give us a minute…" Megumi said sadly.

Yahiko spit on the floor. "Temes! Both of you are! And you belong together!" When he left, Megumi and Sano took it as a sign to gather their bearings and leave.

Kenshin had heard the sudden yelling and entered the hallway just as Kaoru stormed into her room. He was about to enter when Yahiko stopped him. He could hear the sobbing inside.

"Yahiko… what's happened?"

Yahiko's eyes still burned with hate. Real flames could have been in his eyes and Kenshin wouldn't have seen the anger as clearly as he did now. "Megumi and Sanosuke…" It was all he needed to say for Kenshin to understand.

"Really?"

"We both walked in on them. Kaoru's kicking them out, back to their own places."

"I don't blame her," said Kenshin. "It's so cruel…"

"Not only did she lose a lover, but she lost two best friends. She knows she can't trust anybody." Yahiko said. "I don't know if you should go in there."

But Kenshin disregarded his warning. He slid the door open, stepped inside, and closed it again. Kaoru didn't bother to look up. She was curled up, kneeled on the ground looking broken and betrayed. Her body shook and jerked with sobs. Kenshin kneeled down next to her and did what he wouldn't have done in this case with anybody else. He pulled her curled form into his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and tightened his hold on her until she was fully in his embrace. Instead of staying still, she turned and collapsed to his chest in a mess of sobs. He would be her shoulder to cry on and her friend to lean on. She was so desperate for some kind of comfort that she'd never truly been given that she accepted his new role without delay.

"I know how it feels…" he said to her in a comforting voice. "To be betrayed by close friends and lose them." He started gently rocking her back and forth. "It hurts to put all of your trust in somebody and have them betray it." He looked down at the top of her head with kind, understanding eyes. "And it hurts to lose a best friend. It hurts doubly to lose two." Kaoru sniffed. It was something like a gesture that she was listening as she cried. "When it happened to me, I didn't have comfort from anybody. Not even my wife." Kaoru shifted her head slightly. The feeling of her movement against his chest sent sparks up his spine. The fact that she was so wantonly leaning into him for support made those sparks all the more recognizable. "You shouldn't worry, though." He whispered into her ear. He shifted her in his lap so that her forehead was in the crook of his neck. "You will have comfort for as long as you need it."

Kaoru knew she should have been too overcome with sorrow to hear anything he said. She was supposed to be mind-blown by Sanosuke's horrible betrayal on her part, so much that the rest of the world was a blur. But she lay pressed against him, wide eyed in the dark, having heard every single word he said and having understood all of it. He didn't need to tell her what he meant for her to know what he was saying.


	8. Closer

The tension starts to build and the feelings start to come out… ooh la la ;)

Chapter Seven

Closer

It had been a day since Sanosuke and Megumi left. Kaoru was in a terrible state, and Misao did nothing but bitch about how stupid Sano was to go and do what he did. When she found out, it was from Yahiko, and she ran to the yard just as Sanosuke left and threw a kunai right past his head. It left a clean cut in his right ear, and she yelled out "BASTARD!!!" as he left.

That morning, Kaoru and Kenshin had gone to the market on a larder-restocking task. Sanosuke was waiting for her, and tried to explain as he followed her through the crowd. Kenshin only placed his hand on Kaoru's back and guided her forward faster. When Sanosuke had given up struggling and just plain grabbed her collar to pull her back, Kenshin clicked his sword a fraction's way out of the sheathe and gave him a warning glance.

When Kenshin took her to the Akabeko in an attempt to cheer her up, Megumi showed up, wanting to explain herself, but she couldn't get past an angry Tae. Kaoru almost cried into her soba. Kenshin quickly paid the bill and pulled her out of there, seeing how miserable she was. He saw Megumi waiting for Kaoru at the entrance.

"Kaoru, I don't have much time left! My train leaves in an hour. This is the last I can say to you before I go, so try to listen!" But Kaoru strode past her without a word. Megumi tried to grab her, but Kaoru's reflexes were so fast, she merely lifted her hand and blocked Megumi's way.

"Kaoru!"

Kenshin gave Megumi a glare and grabbed Kaoru's wrist to pull her forward. He'd become her personal guide- the one to give her directions when she was too sad to see where she was going. He was her shoulder to cry on. She was thankful.

Kaoru had drifted off into a miserable sleep when they got home, but Kenshin didn't leave her side. He instead stayed with her, so that if she woke up sobbing, she wouldn't be alone. The few times he'd seen her sleeping since he arrived, she slept with a content look on her face. She smirked satisfactorily and looked very pleased with something. But today… she looked sad. Her bare neck and jaw were streaked with shining trails where her tears had fallen.

After a while, though, sitting in one place got pretty boring, and Kenshin decided to fix himself a bath before dinner.

///

She was only twelve when she first met Sanosuke.

It was a hot summer's day, and Kaoru had stood up to a group of boys who'd said much more than should be legal to such a young girl. It had started innocently. Kaoru was walking down through the alleyway, holding a bokken in one hand and wearing a white kimono and a navy blue obi that hugged the curves she was already beginning to acquire. Her hair was up in its ponytail, held together by a wide blue ribbon, and she had a joyful smile on her face. One of her old time friends was coming to visit from Kyoto. He had gone there after inheriting the role as an apprentice ninja for the Oniwabanshu. She'd later meet Misao through his work. There was an easy bounce in her steps as she imagined how he'd look after seeing her so grown.

A rude comment stopped her in her tracks.

"Say that to my face!" She demanded, glaring daggers at every single one of the ganged boys leaning against the wall.

One of them laughed. "You're pretty hot. How about it?"

"How about what?" She asked firmly, her every word edged with steel.

He moved closer to her, but Kaoru was both defiant and strong, and she stood her ground.

"Use your imagination," he whispered into her ear.

Realization dawned on her. She growled angrily. Nobody could talk to her like that. Nobody could suggest those things. She was Kaoru Kamiya, heiress to the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu style, and if she were disrespected, she'd have to demand respect! With those words burned clearly into her mind, Kaoru pushed the older boy easily out of her way and continued forward. But her head jerked and she fell backwards to the ground. He had pulled her back by her hair.

"Come on, pretty girl, stay a little longer…" he said to her.

"I'm twelve, you idiot! So I'll be on my way!" She picked herself up and dusted off. She knew that if she didn't get away soon, she'd blow up on him.

"Now, now." He crooned into her ear. "Not so fast…"

Kaoru went rigid when she felt his hand creep upwards, to places it shouldn't be going. She felt her first pang of fear. The others egged him on. Kaoru reached down slowly to the fold of her kimono. The assaulter's hand was on her chest, and the others were so caught up in the groping they didn't notice her rip the strapped bokken from her leg. She struck backwards at his head and bolted from his hold just as he dropped his arms.

"Bitch!" One of them cried.

Kaoru smirked and got into a battle stance. She wouldn't let them beat her. She was Kaoru Kamiya, and no mere boy was a match for her! Not even a group of them! When one of them ran at her, from the persuasion of the others, she swung her weapon at a speed they didn't know she could possibly possess and hit him so hard he stumbled to the wall and crumpled. She stayed on guard, eyeing every one of them with her angry, startling blue eyes. Another one ran forward. She swung at him, got her bokken trapped between his arms, and countered by throwing herself in a random direction so quickly he let it slip from his hold. The next attack was just a quick thrust, aimed at his head, and he stumbled back at her. Everybody gasped. This was a slip of a girl with amazing ability.

"Wait! I know who it is now! I knew I remembered her from somewhere…" one said.

As the other snorted and started to walk towards her, he was pulled back by one of his friends. "Not this one," He advised wisely, recognizing her. "That's Kaoru Kamiya. You'd better back down."

"It… it is?" Another stuttered.

"Yeah, it is, so we'll just leave her alone, right?"

A taller one watched his comrades with a glare. "Don't tell me you're all scared of a girl! A Kamiya descendant or not, we can't let her just walk away with our names up her sleeve!"

"Yes we can!" He cried, and he tried to run away.

Kaoru laughed to herself and turned away. She knew they'd eventually back down and decide to leave her alone, and her time was being wasted. She needed to get home. She heard running behind her and smirked. She lifted her bokken to strike the assaulter, but he distracted her while another ripped it right from her hands. Kaoru was almost powerless without her bokken, but she'd been told she could kick and hit harder than they'd expect from her. She was ready to stand up to them, but they all came running at once, so fast and with such strong motives that she was both overwhelmed and surrounded. Somebody grabbed her.

Kaoru tried to throw herself away, but he grabbed her light form easily and locked an arm around her waist. She struggled liberally, but he was stronger than she'd expected.

"Well?" He suggested, looking towards his comrades as he fiddled with the neckline of her kimono. "What do you think?"

"She's pretty grown." Another said. "Let's just have a little peek."

"The little bitch deserves it." Somebody snarled.

Sanosuke had just turned a corner as he walked casually along when he saw it. He was fourteen, strong, and known as one of the most powerful fighters, plus the one surviving member of the Sekihotai fighting group from the revolution. He had great pride in his fighting nickname, Zanza, so when he walked into theruckus, he knew he'd either take control or shame himself by walking away. He would take control.

A circle of common gangsters surrounded a white clad figure. She was being held down, but her hair was so rough-and-tumbled that he couldn't see her face for eons. But he heard her little growl of anger and saw what the guys were about to do. She struggled, but she was in the arms of too many for it to help.

"Step away from her." He demanded coldly. The boys smirked sarcastically as they turned to look towards the voice, but when they saw his face and recognition dawned on them, the boy holding the victim dropped her. Those cold, tan-colored eyes, that strong jaw, and that ubiquitous Aku sign on his back were all too familiar, and brought more than just weariness to any soon-to-be victims.

"It's… it's Zanza…" he whispered, his voice full of horror.

"It is?" Somebody asked.

"Yes! Let's get our asses outta here!" A shorter boy cried. He stumbled away and was quickly followed by the others.

Sanosuke laughed to himself and turned away, giving the fallen girl one look before deciding to walk on. But it wasn't a close enough look to see her face.

Kaoru was still lying on the ground only because she'd been overcome by thoughts. This guy was so handsome that her heart was pounding hard when she saw his face. Apparently, he was so notorious the boys left her at the sound of his voice. She frowned and picked herself up. She looked towards her savior's retreating form and her eyes hardened.

"Who are you?"

Sanosuke turned around at the sound of a clear, slightly angered voice. Standing by the wall and leaning on it with one hand, clad in white and looking angelic was somebody so beautiful he felt a horrible constriction in his chest and couldn't really speak. She couldn't have been more than twelve, but something about her besides that gorgeous face was striking. Maybe it was the powerful battle aura exuding from her. Maybe it was the impatience in her eyes. Maybe it was the fact that her eyes were a striking deep blue. All he knew is that she was young, but she was probably already fighting off a fan club of her own.

"Well?" She demanded impatiently.

"Oh?" Sanosuke tried to talk. He tried to say something. She was so beautiful he couldn't speak. Damn his weakness for beautiful girls!

The girl frowned, but she was smiling soon enough. "I'm sorry for being so rude. Maybe that's why you won't answer. I'm just in a hurry, and I'm in a pretty bad mood already." She bowed and looked straight at him with those striking eyes. "Thank you for taking the time to scare them off."

Sanosuke was so charmed by her friendly eloquence and soothing smile that he found himself unwilling to let her go without befriending her first. "I'm Sanosuke Sagara. I'm sorry for taking so long to speak… I was just a little shocked."

She frowned. "I'm Kaoru Kamiya…" she said uncertainly. When she was about to ask him what was so shocking, he cut her off, afraid of how to answer.

"It's nice meeting you, little missy," he said, shaking her hand.

Kaoru smiled at his sudden pet name. She was considered little by many, so it was no surprise. "I seem to get into trouble all the time now…" she sighed.

"You're a very attractive girl," he admitted shyly as they began to stroll. "Some buffoons can't control themselves."

Kaoru let out a sunny laugh, one that Sanosuke quickly grew to love, and began conversing with him. They clicked in an instant. Friendship wasn't just a possibility. It was guaranteed. But the possibility of love was a strong potential, and something that was bound to happen later in life. They had both been attracted to one another the moment they'd met eyes in the alleyway, and they'd become the most important figures in each other's lives from the day they'd first met. It could be called destiny, couldn't it?

//

The world was so alive as Kaoru walked through it, alone, both deaf and dumb, blind and senseless to all the noise. She was supposed to be at the Akabeko, using their outhouse. That's what she'd told the others she'd be doing when she up and left their picnic in an abrupt manner. But she just needed to take a walk. People looked at her as she trudged past and smiled at her, admiring her beauty and her seemingly ever-present poise. But she was blind to it all. The only thing she did see was the crowd of people at one of the roads near the park. A lot of them were crying. A lot of them were shouting, too. When she heard the name Okubo, she broke into a run.

She had to push through the people surrounding the scene to have a look. But when she'd gotten to the front of the crowd, she'd wished she never took that walk. Lord Okubo, the one who had sworn to her father that he would care for her, and the one who had followed through with that promise, was lying in a pool of his own blood, dead, covered loosely by straw, but still recognizable. Her eyes pricked with hot, passionate tears. Kaoru took a step forward, her body trembling, and tried to get closer to him. But she felt so weak, and so tired… like all her strength had been sapped from her, and she was suddenly helpless. She leaned forward, reaching out for a something to grab, and fell heavily to her knees.

"Hey! Get back!" an officer ordered fiercely, but he trailed off when she looked up at him and revealed the grief-stricken tears pouring down her cheeks. "Who are you?" He asked more gently. Her reaction was noticeably different from the other spectators.

"Let her forward," his colleague said persuasively. "Her father was Kamiya Koshijirou."

He moved to let her pass at his friend's words, and she walked steadily towards the body, trying to carry her bearing with as much grace as she could. But her bone-white face betrayed all dignity, and when she kneeled before the body, she was trembling. She moved the straw mat from his face, and her heart sank. It was all that she could do not to collapse when she knew for sure that the corpse before her was really him.

"Okubo…" she whispered, her face set in a devastated grimace. "Not you…"

She walked aimlessly for a long time, trying to put between her and the corpse as much distance as possible. She ended up sitting under the bridge, staring at the water. For hours everything seemed normal, but then came the sounds of a paperboy yelling 'Extra! Extra!' and almost immediately after, the cries of pedestrians as they picked up the fallen flyers and read that their Lord Okubo was dead. Kaoru covered her face in her arms and wept, along with the others above her on the bridge, and on the street, who were voicing their worries to strangers who felt just the same way. When the sun began to set, Kaoru looked up, and through her swollen, red-rimmed eyes she saw the flyers littering the river, sinking or floating, and the people who still crowded the streets, covering their mouths or praying or hoping for the consolation that nothing bad would follow this. Kaoru didn't think of the people who had been waiting for her to come back for hours.

///

"Do you see her anywhere?" Misao asked, staring at everybody with her questioning eyes.

"I don't see her." Yahiko said. "But you know, she always treated Lord Okubo like a second father." He looked down at the flyer that was still in his hands. "Maybe she hid away for a while."

"Who knows what could happen now…" Okon said, her brow set in furrows of concentration. "I agreed with his vision. I respected it and anticipated it and loved it and hoped it would come to pass. It was something achievable, but now that he's dead, there's nothing keeping the government from collapsing."

"We'll have to set off sooner than I thought…" Aoshi said. "We can't leave Shishio alone now. Not now that he's gone this far."

Okon looked towards him. "As much as I hate the thought, I have to get in contact with the bastard roosterhead. He needs to know when we leave." She frowned towards the ground. "By the way, when will we leave?"

"Tomorrow. Cut off the rest of the week. We can't delay any further." Aoshi said. "Leaving Shishio alone after all of this is like running away from a burning house."

Misao felt a sharp pain in her chest, but she took a few deep breaths and recovered. The thoughts of Aoshi leaving were replaced by worry for Kaoru. "Lets… let's talk about this later. For now we'll just find Kaoru."

"I'll go on ahead." Kenshin volunteered. "I'll meet you at the house in an hour. If we don't find her now, she's bound to come back." He said.

They dispersed, and he rushed around, looking for a clue here and there. He lingered at the bridge to wait and wonder on the whole event. Soon enough, he would have to fight. He would just wait for that time. He looked towards the river and caught sight of a woman's reflection in the water. She was sitting at the shore, leaning over the water and studying herself. It was Kaoru. It took Kenshin such a long time to figure it out because her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and her whole self was torn with grief. He walked slowly towards her, trying to get down the slope without being too loud.

She didn't look up when he reached her side and stared out at the water. He didn't move, but continued to stare. "The river is the color of the sunset. It's beautiful, isn't it?" He said.

Kaoru's response was only a slight nod, and he took it as the right time to sit down next to her.

They stayed silent for a while, just staring out at the water and basking in the silent, heavy cloud of mourning. "I know you and the Lord were close…" he started abruptly.

Kaoru turned her head to look at him.

"I'm sorry…" He said, unaware that he had covered one of her hands with his. "It's hard to believe when a person says they know how you feel. But I do. I really do."

Kaoru didn't answer, but she stared at his hand as it covered hers. He smiled sheepishly at her, but his eyes were resolute when he turned her hand over and held it in his own. She suddenly let out a soft sob. "I still remember how it felt when Okubo first came to my door and told me that my father was dead. But I also remember how nice he was, and how fiercely he'd strived to keep his promise to my father. He was the last thing on earth that I could really rely on as a parent, you know? Somebody who would have all of the answers and the will to bail me out when I'm in trouble." She let out a sob. "I guess it's pretty stupid… but that's how I saw him. And now he's gone… But I shouldn't feel so sad, right? Because so many other people are less lucky than me. They don't have the parental person, and they have to face the world alone, and not only that, but they don't have the friends that I do to support me when the 'parent' isn't around." She groaned and held her head in her hands. "I'm petty and self pitying and pathetic and– "

Kenshin pulled her into his arms. "You have every right to mourn him." He said firmly. His voice rumbled in his chest and felt comforting against her skin. "You have every right to feel upset and lost and confused when the one who made you feel secure and happy is gone."

Kaoru's body started to shake at first, but then she started crying for real, and he held her in his arms, long after the sun had gone down, and long after the river had turned into a dull, gray stripe under the black sky.

"Did anybody remember to wake up Kaoru?" Misao asked irritably when she sat at the food-laden table. "It's the goodbye dinner for Okon and Aoshi!"

They looked from one to another. "Umm…"

Misao sighed dramatically. "You all forgot??? Geeze!"

"Fine, fine, I'll get her," grumbled Yahiko.

"No," Misao stopped him. "She needs to be handled gently right now. You're about as gentle as a sack of gravel."

"Hey! I know when to be nice to busu too, you know!" He growled.

"You see? You called her a hag! She's not a hag! Anybody here would agree with me!"

"Come on… you know I never actually meant that she was a hag when I called her a hag… right?"

Misao rolled her emerald eyes. "Then why do you say it?"

"I don't know! Don't ask me that question!"

"Ugh…" Misao grumbled. She pushed past him and walked to Kaoru's room. When she opened the door, Kaoru was sitting up, still covered by the blanket, and holding half of her face in her single hand. The tears dripping between her fingers and trailing down her wrist were almost like her soul, slipping through her fingers…

"Kaoru?" Her friend looked up at her. "It's time for dinner…"

Kaoru dropped her hand and got to her feet. The tears were still falling as Misao gave her a once over. The wide belt on the waist of her new Chinese sleeping robe fit the shape of her waist nicely and hugged her womanly curves. Misao was once again reminded of how brainless Sanosuke could be to give up somebody as pretty as her shihondai friend, all for that stupid witch doctor. She couldn't stand seeing the pain and tears she was going through trying to pull herself back together. Okubo's death only made everything a lot worse.

"How does it look?" asked Kaoru. The colors on her Chinese robe complimented her fair complexion.

"It's beautiful on you. It accentuates your tiny waist. I don't see why they can't make waist tight robes for pregnant women…" she grumbled.

Kaoru smiled witheringly. "It's the goodbye meal. We'd better hurry up." Kaoru said flatly. She pushed past Misao, showing no effort to hide her tears, and was halfway through the door when she was called back.

"Kaoru?"

She turned to her best friend. "Yes?"

Misao suddenly pulled her into her arms. Kaoru let the tears fall. When one fell, more fell. And they just kept on coming. "You don't have to hide them," she reassured her.

Kaoru took that as permission to collapse. She fell into wracks of sobs that made her crumple to her knees. When the cry was over, they went to the dining room. The house was full of fake smiles and fake laughter.

It wasn't surprising that Misao cried when she said goodbye to Aoshi. It wasn't surprising at all when Kaoru said goodbye and cried, either. What was surprising was that Aoshi was crying. It wasn't down-on-your-knees sobbing, but there were tearstains on his cheeks when he said goodbye to Misao. Kaoru embraced him briefly and squeezed Misao's hand. Aoshi was like the big brother she'd never had, and their partings weren't known to be easy. They'd purposely come late to the ship, so that Sanosuke was already on board and Kaoru wouldn't have to see him.

But as Kaoru pulled away from Aoshi's embrace, she felt a hand on her shoulder and whipped around. Sanosuke was staring sharply into her eyes. "This is my last chance to explain." He said firmly.

"Lay off of me, Sano!" Kaoru demanded, pulling away. Aoshi and Kenshin were already in action. Kenshin took to blocking Sanosuke from Kaoru's view and shielding her, and Aoshi handled the talk. Misao just stood on the sidelines glaring at Sanosuke alongside Yahiko. His bokken was set firmly in his hold.

"Sanosuke, I think you've done enough damage. Get on the ship." Aoshi commanded softly.

"This could be the last time I see her!" Growled Sano.

"Well you know what? It doesn't matter to her." Misao spat. "You messed up, and even Kaoru's not that merciful. She'd have to be a doormat to forgive and forget your last little screw up." Her fists were clenched.

"Shut up, Misao, and let me speak to Kaoru."

Aoshi's eyes shot to him. "Watch it," he warned. "Not only is that my fiancé you're talking to, but she's also leader of the Oniwabanshu."

"Oh, come on. I've been wanting to say that to Misao since I first met her!"

Aoshi took a step forward and pulled Misao backwards. "I'll let it slip because you're too stupid to know what you're doing."

"Kaoru, just listen to me for a second!" Sanosuke demanded.

Kaoru, hidden safely behind Kenshin, cast her eyes to the floor. She felt down, and weak, and tired… so tired…

"Shut up, rooster, and leave her alone!" Yahiko growled.

"Kaoru, I know you're more forgiving than this! We've been best friends for five years! We've loved one another for five years!"

Kaoru glared up at him from behind Kenshin's shoulder. "And you threw away that love with your mistake. And the worst part is that the mistake was made on purpose! So it wasn't a mistake! You acted like I didn't exist and threw yourself all over Megumi!" Her voice cracked harshly.

"Kaoru…"

She closed her eyes. He couldn't see the tears that ran down her cheeks, but Kenshin could, and he slipped his hand into hers. He gave her a tight squeeze and she leaned tiredly into his chest. Her body as well as her mind sagged with exhaustion.

"Get on the ship, Sano." Kenshin said. "You lost your chance. It wasn't a mistake. Now leave."

"I'll make sure he does," Aoshi said. He turned towards Kaoru and gave the back of her head a quick, affectionate caress, and then made sure Sanosuke was on his way into the ship. He turned to his fiancé, whispered a loving goodbye, and kissed her. Misao trembled as he held her face to his chest and comforted her silently, and then he left.

Okon turned to Kaoru with a smile, too, and the two women embraced.

"I hope everything comes out all right in the end, Kaoru." She said into the younger girl's hair.

Kaoru smiled. "Me too."

"And take care of Misao, okay?"

Kaoru nodded and pulled away for Okon to approach her pregnant commander.

"I wish I was going with you." She whined, hugging Okon's tall form.

"Yare, yare, be more responsible, baka. You have a kid in your belly. You can't go fighting. Your job right now is to make sure he grows safely and you give birth safely."

They waved to her when she walked up the ramp to the ship and joined Aoshi on the dock. He waved to Misao, and she broke into tears.

In the end, Kaoru had to drag Misao, kicking and sobbing, all the way back to the dojo. And it was easier said than done when people wondered what she was doing with a struggling, skimpily dressed girl in her arms.

"Will Misao be all right?" Kenshin asked, looking at the downcast, usually annoyingly hyper ninja girl.

Kaoru smiled earnestly, but her smile didn't match her eyes. "Misao will… she'll be fine, after given a while to grieve." She said tiredly.

Misao pulled away from her friend and stumbled to her room. Kaoru watched the door slam closed, then turned away from Kenshin to go to her respective room. Her eyes were down on the ground and she looked so down Kenshin felt the sudden need to hold her.

"Kaoru?"

She looked over her shoulder and smiled sadly. "I'm fine."

"You don't look it." He observed.

"I'm fine." She stated firmly. But when she was alone in her room, her knees gave way and she collapsed to the floor in a sobbing, graceless heap.

Yahiko and Kenshin drank tea in the kitchen while the females of the house brooded. Kaoru had wrapped herself into a soft yukata and went to sleep, and Misao had stared long and hard at her slightly protruding belly, debating on whether she should hate it for making her fat or love it because it contained a mix of she and Aoshi in one little person. Then, bored with herself, she went to sleep.

"It's so quiet…" Yahiko grumbled.

"Yeah."

"Misao told me Aoshi will kill me if I try any tricks when she's pregnant or when Kaoru's so miserable. So there's nothing to do!"

"I think I know what to do…" Kenshin said suddenly. The air had gotten much sharper and colder by then. Kenshin knew those hills would be filled with snow. He wanted to take her somewhere where he could see her smile.

"Do you think… Sanosuke hurt her on purpose, Kenshin?" Yahiko asked helplessly.

Kenshin kept his eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry, Yahiko. I can't think of any other explanation. He was sober, awake, and aware of everything he was doing. He knew her fragile heart was the cost for a moment of pleasure, but he took it anyway."

Yahiko trembled. "I… I just don't understand him! Every other person who's set eyes on her would die to be in his place! And you know that!" He cried.

"I know that." He admitted. "But Sanosuke, even when he knew it, took advantage of it."

"He's a bastard." Yahiko declared angrily. "So is that Megumi."

"I agree…" Kenshin murmured thoughtfully. Then he looked towards his small friend. "Do me a favor, all right?"

"What is it?" he asked in a noncommittal tone.

"Just… lets not talk about Sanosuke or Aoshi or Megumi for a while, okay? Not with the two women being so upset."

"Yeah."

"Understand?"

Yahiko nodded. "I get it."

"Aoshi sama," Omasu greeted, bowing deeply. "Where is Misao?" She looked towards Sanosuke and Okon.

"We'll discuss her later," Aoshi said. "For now, we need to have that meeting with Okina."

"But… wouldn't we need Misao for our meeting? She is, after all, our commander…"

"As I said before, Omasu, we'll discuss that later."

He walked past her with a small bow. He was a little irritated after spending such a long time travelling with Sanosuke, and at the moment he didn't want to be questioned, but he was fond of Omasu, and she usually took harsh tones a little personally.

Everybody was already seated and waiting in the Oniwabanshu's meeting room by the time he'd reached the end of the inner hallway.

"Aoshi sama," they all acknowledged and bowed deeply. But Okina stayed sitting up and only nodded slightly, and Aoshi nodded back.

"It's good to see you back, Aoshi." Okina said. "And hello, Sagara-san."

"Sanosuke's fine," Sano said.

He shook it off. "I trust Okon came to you with the message as efficiently as possible." He said, smiling towards Okon.

She stared right at Sanosuke then and gave him a quick shake of her head. Don't tell him I was drunk, she seemed to say.

"She came on time and delivered us the message as quickly as she was capable of doing, and made everything we need to do as clear as she could."

"All right, then. Okon, Aoshi and Sanosuke, please take a seat."

They sat down together and waited for the discussion to begin.

"First of all, where is Misao? I thought we agreed that she would come. She is, after all, our leader."

"Well, you see…" Okon started. "Misao is…"

"I found it agreeable that Misao stayed in the Kamiya dojo with Kaoru. Shishio would easily target her if she came here. She is the Oniwabanshu leader. He would use her against us in the heat of war, and then where would we be? It is much more practical to keep her safe and out of the way." Aoshi gave Okon a warning glance.

"How did Misao feel about this?" Okina asked.

"She was against it, of course, but she came to understand that it was for the good of the Oniwabanshu."

"All right. But next time you do this, consult with me, first." Okina said firmly.

"Now onto other things," Okon said.

"Did you find out when the grand inferno begins?" Sanosuke asked.

"We used the Owls to get through to the information. Our spies have assured us that what they found out is the full truth." Omasu said.

Okina eyed everyone gravely. "It happens in a week."

///

"Miss Kaoru, it's not healthy to eat so little," Kenshin chided gently. He tried baiting her with a delicious plate of beef teriyaki from Tae's restaurant, but Kaoru only glared down at the food and bit her lip.

It had been three days, and Kaoru had skipped almost all of her meals. So much could not be said for Misao. She was pregnant, and currently eating down the house. She missed Aoshi terribly and worried for him all the time, but the baby and the hormones made her so hungry she just had to eat. And when a pregnant woman ate, she ate a lot.

Kaoru was a different story, though. Lord Okubo's sudden assassination had caused her to fall silent for a long time, but when she finally talked, it was about Sanosuke. She was so badly affected by him and she'd valued his opinion for as long as they'd known each other, and this was the reason she was so miserable. "Maybe he left me for Megumi because she looks like a pillar and I look like… a squash." She sighed weakly. "Everybody knows having a waist the same size as your hips is beautiful. But look at me! Megumi's perfect, and I look fat!"

Kenshin wanted to laugh. "You don't, miss Kaoru… never think that. I didn't think having a small waist would be attractive until I saw you…" He trailed off. Kaoru stared at him.

"You must be crazy, then." She said, and her eyes filled with tears again. "Sanosuke has good taste! He always had, ever since we were younger! That's why he picked Megumi!"

"Then why did he pick you?"

"Because he was going through a fit of insanity!" She cried angrily.

Kenshin laughed out loud this time. "Listen to yourself. He may just like Megumi because she's twenty-two. But it has nothing to do with you. He's a stupid bastard. You're beautiful, miss Kaoru, and you know it. Those men wouldn't have bought you those silk kimono if you hadn't gotten them smitten when they saw you."

Kaoru's lips upturned into a smile, like a raging fever breaking. But then her face fell again, when she remembered walking to the kitchen, and seeing Sanosuke with his arms wrapped around Megumi, his fingers crumpling her haori jacket, his lips all over hers, their bodies pressed together, his eyes open and staring at her with so many emotions she couldn't count them … and she broke into tears.

"Miss Kaoru!"

Kaoru couldn't help it. She cried harder.

"Kaoru, look at me…" he pleaded gently. She raised her face to look up at him. Her hair was down, spilling over her shoulders. Her blue eyes were still glistening with tears, and some of them ran down her cheeks. Her bottom lip was between pearly white teeth. Her cheeks were touched with red from her tears. She looked so weak… so pleading… so vulnerable. His eyes widened. She looked exactly the same as she did when his eyes first fell upon her beautiful face, on the night when he had to watch her go through the torture and act like he enjoyed it. He'd seen the trust and the pain in her stare then, and he saw it all there now.

"Kenshin…" she whispered in a half sob.

He could suddenly see the memory in her eyes, the one that had set her off into tears. "Kaoru…"

She didn't have to ask, and he didn't have to agree. She just fell into his arms.

"He… He… he didn't have to choose me in the first place…" she sobbed. "Not if he knew he needed more…"

"Nobody can be more than you."

"Apparently, Megumi is nobody."

"Megumi is Megumi. Sanosuke is a bastard. But both of them are out of your life, Kaoru. Don't worry."

Kaoru pulled out of his arms, but she remained perched in his lap. When he watched her, he only just realized how fragile she really was. She could care for so many people and she could support herself. She could run a dojo without her parents and live on even through the toughest times. But when it came to her heart, it was so heavily guarded because it could break so badly. It didn't break all that often, but when it broke, it fell into a thousand pieces.

"I just wish…" she stared out the window and sighed wistfully. "Sanosuke and I have been so close, for such a long time… I'd always hoped it'd stay that way." She wiped her tears away with her sleeve. "I never wanted to have to throw him out."

"I know you didn't. But don't worry, miss Kaoru. It was his fault, and one day you'll forget all about him."

They held each other and stared out into the yard. "Do you really think I will?" She asked him.

"You're a strong girl, miss Kaoru. One day you will."

///

"Hurry up, Misao!" Kaoru called, looking over her shoulder to smile at her struggling friend.

"Do you really think I can run right now?" She called back angrily.

"You used to be so damned fast…" Yahiko grumbled. "Now look at you!"

"Well I'm sorry if I happen to be pregnant!" She growled to Yahiko. Then she looked ahead at Kaoru. "Can't we stop? We've been running for ages in this stupid rain! Why don't we just hide under a tree? We're in a park, after all!" It was a huge park. There was nowhere to shelter except the trees.

"Miss Kaoru, let's stop. We'll give her a chance to catch up." Kenshin said, stopping her.

"I think that's a good idea."

When Misao caught up with them, she rested her hands on her knees. "I'm going under a tree…" she declared.

Kaoru drew her back by her braid. "Don't do that, Misao! It's a thunderstorm!"

"So?"

"We'll get electrocuted if we go under these trees. It happened in last week's storm, when that guy tried to take shelter. The lightning struck the tree, and he died."

Misao paled. "Never mind!"

They all huddled together. The rain only poured harder. Kaoru was wearing a white cotton kimono, so she had to cross her arms over her chest to stop the see through fabric from revealing too much. She was too worried about somebody seeing her body right through the kimono to risk unfolding her arms and putting on her haori. "This sucks." She said.

"I agree," said Kenshin.

"Which way would be faster?" Misao asked. "To continue on till we reach the exit, or to go back from where we came?"

"We need to continue to the exit. But it goes on through the trees." Then she gave Kenshin a smug smile. "Nice job, genius. Deciding to take us on a walk when NONE of us wanted to go." She smiled sarcastically. "Now we're all wet."

"Well forgive me!" He shot back. "All of you were stumbling around the house looking dead! You needed the fresh air!"

"There's fresh air in the yard, Kenshin." Misao grumbled.

"Not as fresh as this." He said, opening his arms to the trees.

"So which way are we going?" Asked Yahiko. "The trees? The faster we get out, the better."

"NO WAY!" Misao yelled. "I am NOT going to a place full of trees! We'll get electrocuted!"

Kaoru slapped her forehead. "Damnit…"

"Do you really think Kaoru knew what she was talking about when she said the trees were deadly, weasel?!?" Yahiko growled.

"Yes, I do! And I'm NOT going to walk into a place full of trees and die! Not while I'm so close to living a married life!"

"Aw, you and your stupid 'Aoshi Sama,'" Yahiko grumbled.

"Stupid? STUPID?" Misao screeched.

"Yeah!"

"Aoshi is NOT stupid!!!"

"Just shut up and accept it, hag!"

Misao and Yahiko began a heated debate that Kaoru didn't really care to take part in. She looked around the forest, admiring the dark, bewitching green of the pine trees and the smell of nature. Her sudden rush of tranquility blocked out the sounds of her friends' bickering. She was oblivious to Kenshin's content staring. A butterfly sailed past her line of sight and caught her eye as it landed on the leaf of a peculiar bush. It was a beautiful mix of violets, blues, and whites. Megumi would have called it a stupid insect, but Kaoru was in love. All thoughts of her see through kimono forgotten, she unfolded her arms and reached out towards it, and the butterfly inched closer to the edge of the leaf. It seemed to be watching her. She was about to rest her finger on the tip of the leaf and have the butterfly use it as a perch, but Kenshin closed his hand over her smaller one, and it fluttered swiftly from the bush.

"Don't do that," he said softly. "The bush is poison ivy."

Kaoru's eyes followed the butterfly as it fluttered off deeper into the trees. Then she looked at Kenshin. His hand was still holding hers, and he was watching her contently.

They stared at one another, near the edge of the road, far away from Yahiko and Misao, the rain pouring over them. Beyond them lay the rest of the world as it buzzed about, but between them was the most eloquent silence ever known to man. The wind flapped at their clothes. Her black hair and his red hair danced with the breeze. But their bodies were frozen in place, and their eyes were locked firmly on each other. He watching her, she watching him, Kenshin entwined his fingers with hers, his thumb caressed the smooth back of her hand, and time froze.

///

The forest path was full of faces. Kaoru and Kenshin were holding their stomachs in their laughter. Misao was about to blow up from anger. Yahiko was smiling smugly from his played prank.

Misao hadn't shut up since they decided to walk through the forest. Kaoru's words about lightning striking trees and electrifying them had permanently scarred her. She was terrified of every tree and clung to Kenshin's arm like he was the magical force that would keep her safe. "Why not cling to Kaoru or Yahiko?" Kenshin had asked. "You've known them for longer."

"You remind me of Aoshi," had been her answer. But Kenshin didn't know how Misao could see her icy, serious fiancé in him.

At every sound of thunder, she screamed or cowered or both, and Yahiko was getting sick of it.

"Look, weasel." Yahiko had said. "Watch my hand and the tree very closely."

"Uh huh…" she nodded, following through.

"I'm gonna keep it here, on this tree." He said, resting it on the trunk. "Even when lightning strikes or there's a sound of thunder, I'll keep it here."

"Don't, Yahiko!" Misao pleaded.

"Shut up, weasel. I won't die."

"Yes you will!"

Everybody stopped to watch him. He kept his hand there, crossed his ankles, and yawned. "How boring." He said.

"Good! It's boring, so you can stop!" Misao said, her face lifting with hope.

"No."

Her face fell.

There was only rain. Misao shuddered. Kaoru was a little worried, too, but she knew the odds were slim of lightning hitting that particular tree. Kenshin was in that same optimistic state of mind.

"Yahiko…" Misao said warningly. There was only rain. Nothing happened.

But white noise filled her terrified ears when thunder cracked through the sky, the world flashed, and Yahiko screamed. He screamed loud and long, and he trembled violently against the tree. Misao screamed, too. Yahiko was going to die! Yahiko was probably already dead!

He flopped to the ground. Kaoru saw the crinkle of mischief in the corners of his eyes, but Misao didn't. She stumbled forward, terrified. Was her small friend dead? She knelt by his head. "Yahiko! Yahiko!" She was about to burst into tears, but Yahiko opened his eyes.

"SURPRISE!!!" He cried, leaping to his feet.

Kaoru and Kenshin burst into laughter when Misao screamed and fell backwards. Yahiko was smirking as she got shakily to her feet and glared at him. And that was how they came to be where they were, filling the forest with laughter.

"I really thought you were dead, you little brat!" She cried. "And you pull a TRICK on me!"

Yahiko just stood there laughing.

"You won't be laughing when I get you!" She declared, and she ran at him. But due to her pregnancy, she was slower than usual, and Yahiko was just as fast as always. So he danced around, laughing cruelly and taunting her on comments of her newly swollen belly and her inability to run fast, and anybody could swear they saw steam blow from Misao's ears.

"DAMN YOU!!!" She cried.

Kaoru and Kenshin were falling over each other in their laughter. When the two stopped bickering, it was close to noon.

"All right, you two." Kaoru said soothingly. "You should stop, now. The rain is over and we should hurry."

They walked back at a reasonable pace, to keep Misao comfortable. Yahiko refrained from making any snide comments, because Misao had threatened to tell Aoshi when he returned. Yahiko remembered Aoshi giving him a warning about upsetting his pregnant fiancé while he was gone. Misao was up ahead, and Kaoru and Kenshin fell back a little.

They walked side by side, their hands to themselves but their senses completely aware of one another. Kenshin kept stealing glances at Kaoru, and she was doing the same.

"Daijabou, Kaoru?" He asked.

"I'm fine. I guess I should've eaten more, though."

"Tell me when you don't feel well."

Kaoru nodded, but made a silent promise not to. She wasn't going to come across as weak. Occasionally, Kenshin would give her a look to remind her of Yahiko's prank, and they would end up laughing so hard their eyes watered and receive dirty looks from Misao. Then Kaoru would whisper something into his ear and they'd be in fits of laughter again. By the time they'd gotten to the exit, all thoughts of Sanosuke were out of Kaoru's mind. They stopped at a small inn to have lunch, and then they returned to the dojo. Even though Misao had hogged the sushi platter and ate so much she wanted to be sick, she was hungry after the half hour walk back and stuffed half of the larder into her mouth.

They spent the rest of the day lying on the ground in the living room, staring at the ceiling and chatting about random things. The same laughter that had filled the forest filled the living room when Yahiko angered Misao yet again. That night, Kenshin gave Kaoru a cooking lesson, but they were both too caught up in chatting and nudging one another and laughing at random things to remember Kaoru was supposed to be learning something.

That night, they fell asleep together in the living room when their conversation had drizzled away. Kenshin woke up in the middle of the night and stared at her. She was beautiful in sleep, with her eyes lightly closed, her ki unguarded, and her hair falling all over her shoulders. But the best part:

She was smiling again.


	9. A Night to Remember

Yes people – this is the first big climax in this incredibly twisted tale. Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived :D enjoy it! Just don't blame me if it's a little too sexy.

Chapter Eight

A Night to Remember

"Kenshin, I told you I don't need another haori!" Kaoru grumbled. "Besides, it's not even winter yet." She scoffed.

"But where we're going, it'll be snowy, Kaoru." Kenshin warned.

"So? You don't have to fawn all over it. I'll be fine."

"All right. Fine."

She took his hand and climbed into the carriage. She sat next to him in the small compartment. "How long will it take?" She asked him.

"About two hours, I guess." He said. "It's pretty far, and it'll take a while even on a carriage."

Kaoru admired the place. The windows were sealed shut, so the cold couldn't get in too easily. They could be screaming at the top of their lungs and nobody would hear it unless they lessened the force of the window's closure. Kaoru was exhilarated. She'd told Kenshin about her father's grave, and how far away it was. She didn't know exactly how to get to the area, so she hadn't been there in years. Kenshin, though, knew the area well, and offered to take her. She was very happy to be going, since the last time she'd been to the grave was during his burial. Certain distant family members had insisted on placing it miles and miles away from Tokyo.

"Now, you stay here, and I'll go to the front and drive."

"You're driving?" Kaoru asked. "Why didn't you get a driver?" She asked irritably.

"It'd cost a load to hire one, let alone have him drive for two hours there and back." Kenshin said.

"Then I'm coming up there with you. You don't expect me to sit in the back all by myself, do you?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"And you?" She placed a hand on her hip.

He thought for a moment, then smiled at her. "Fine."

The air was bitingly cold even in her three-layered kimono and her haori overcoat, but she would never admit it to Kenshin the Worrywart. They chatted and laughed at inside jokes. There were times when Kaoru swore he was flirting with her- and she was flirting back. All memories of his marriage and his wife had fled her mind.

Because they'd talked so much, those two hours just fled right by. They'd never even stopped to enjoy the view, and just kept on talking. The only other sounds throughout their journey were the snort of their two pulling horses and the whistle of the northern wind.

Kenshin kept flicking his eyes to her when she didn't know it. She had no idea how perfect she was, and apparently neither did Sanosuke. He was, to put it nicely, an idiotic bastard. He was sure he could've gone without breaking this poor girl's heart. He wouldn't dare admit to himself, though, that every time she smiled at him, his heart skipped a beat, and every time she talked to him, he didn't even have to try to listen to hang on to her every word.

He admired the way she tucked her straying hairs behind her ear. She always did that. And he admired the way she always pursed her lips when she was annoyed or about to laugh. Not a day had passed by when she didn't do that. He loved the softness of her hands- a softness he couldn't really understand- and he loved the glow in her creamy skin. He loved the feeling of her pure ki, and he loved her laugh. For the time he'd been there, he only just realized that he'd lived for the next moment he could hear her laugh.

And Kaoru was just the same. Her heart beat faster when she looked into his eyes. Everything about him was so out of her league, but she suddenly wanted him. She wanted to wake up to his face the way she had just this morning. She wanted to run her fingers through his gorgeous hair. She wanted to trail her hands down his muscles, and savor every dip and every crease. Sanosuke flew out of her mind when she watched him. But he was married. His wife was entitled to his hair, his muscles, his smile, his love… and all she was entitled to was… his friendship.

"We're here." Kenshin said, stopping at the foot of a low, mildly sloping hill. Kaoru suddenly wished she'd brought that second haori. The air was freezing, and the snow was deep. The place was heavily forested with pine trees, and to her left was a deep, wide lake.

"It's… pretty," she said with some awkwardness.

Kenshin chuckled and ran his fingers fondly through her hair. "Why not call it what it is and use the word beautiful?" He asked.

"Well… maybe it's because I'm emotional that I repel people." She said.

"Kaoru," Kenshin started, giving her a firm shake. "Don't worry about that! People would rather have an emotional person in their life, unlike somebody who never voices her feelings and keeps everything hidden, even simple sensitivity."

"I show people too much." She said. "I let people see too much, and they take advantage of me."

"Not all people will." He said. "Sometimes it can be the very thing that drives others to fall for you." Kenshin admitted. Then, without giving her a chance to question his statement, he walked off. "Come on, let's take a walk to the grave."

"But, I…" Kaoru trailed off. "I've only just managed to get over my father's death. Seeing his grave for the first time in years…" She said unsurely. "I might be incapable…"

Kenshin turned to her with a reassuring smile and held out his hand. "Don't worry, miss Kaoru. I'll be by your side for as long as it takes."

Kaoru took one light-footed step forward, lingering slightly on her toes, and took his outstretched hand with hers.

They continued into the forest. Kaoru looked right up at the aqua blue sky and inhaled deeply, savoring the strong smell of pine. "It's so beautiful in here…" she sighed.

Kenshin turned to her and smiled. Her arms were wide open, and her head was lifted to the sky. She looked like an angel in her white kimono and orchard-yellow obi. He swore he caught sight of feathery wings on her back.

"Come on, now. We should hurry. The setting sun is beautiful back where the carriage is." He informed her.

"All right. But I was having a moment with the wild, Kenshin! You interrupted it."

"I'm sorry," he said, pinching her nose. "But we need to hurry."

"Fine, fine! I heard you the first time!"

After a moment, Kaoru pointed excitedly at a tree. "Look at its bark, Kenshin! See? Part of it looks like a face!"

"I see it, that I do." He said, smiling at her. Kaoru and Kenshin both found many things to point out to one another; the beauty of a butterfly, the colors in a leaf, a cluster of colorful mushrooms… Kaoru was having fun, and Kenshin was, too.

"You know what?" Kenshin said suddenly.

Kaoru smiled towards him. "What?"

"From the time I've spent with you, I've had more fun than I think I've ever had in my life."

"Well, that's because you're not fun, and I am! There's a big difference!" she said in a singsong voice.

"Who said I wasn't fun?" Kenshin asked playfully.

"You're old." She said.

"I'm not that old."

"You look twenty. But you act a lot older. You need to loosen up." She stopped for a moment. "How old are you, anyway?" She asked.

"Take a lucky guess." He said.

"I don't know… twenty three?" She guessed.

"Not exactly spot on… twenty eight."

"Twenty Eight?" She replied incredulously.

"Yeah. Twenty Eight."

"You're… You're…" she folded her lips nervously. "You really are old!" She declared. "I was only kidding before!"

"I'm kidding too." He said nervously. He wouldn't ruin it by letting her know he was eleven years her senior.

"Really?" her hopes were lifted. "Then how old are you?"

"It's none of your business…" He said smugly.

"None of my business? You've been living with me for six weeks!" she whined incredulously. "I think it amounts to having a right to my guest's age!"

"A landlady doesn't have rights to her boarder's age!"

"But a friend does, Kenshin." Kaoru said in mock annoyance. On the inside, though, Kaoru was a little hurt that to him she was merely a landlady. He didn't even pay!

Kenshin saw her small discomfort and softened his tone. "Yes, you're right, miss Kaoru. But don't you agree that friends have secrets, too?"

"I guess…"

"All right, then." He said cheerily. He grabbed her hand and pulled her faster.

///

It was a surprisingly short way to the grave. Within the next half hour, they were there, standing before the tombstone. Kenshin watched as Kaoru bowed deeply, on her knees, and prayed. It was first only a tear, but then it turned into more tears, and then into a sob. She suddenly felt terribly lonely. Even though Kenshin was right next to her, she still needed what Sanosuke had given her, and what she wanted so much from Kenshin. Praying to her father only brought the painful need back.

"Kaoru…" She heard a whisper in her ear, and then Kenshin's arms folded around her. He pulled her in tightly; so tightly she couldn't move. But Kaoru couldn't help herself. She placed her hands on his arms to loosen them a little and turned to face him, taking his face in her hands as she did, and suddenly hugged him close. He whispered her name again, and to her surprise, his hands traveled over her body, from her hips to her waist to her ribs… up her back… he crumpled the fabric of her kimono and fisted his hands. He whispered her name again.

"Kaoru…"

She didn't move her arms from his neck. She didn't shift away from him, or steady herself. She was sprawled over him, stretched all the way out, her legs tangled in her kimono, her face tucked away into his neck. His hands traveled the course of her body again, and he wrapped his arms around her slim waist.

"Kenshin…"

"Kaoru…"

She felt the heat of his breath in her ear as she pulled back a little, just enough to stare at him. She suddenly looked like a woman. Not just a beautiful girl. A beautiful woman.

Her thumbs caressed both of his cheeks. They were so close… so close he couldn't stand the separation. Neither could she. But Kaoru remembered his wife and stared into her lap instead.

"Kaoru?" she heard her name clearly. The breath from his voice tickled her bangs against her forehead.

"Look at me." He said in a soft, commanding voice.

She looked at him. First, it was at his moist, pursed lips. Then, at his perfectly slim, pointed, slightly curved nose. When violet met blue, though, she couldn't hold back. Neither could he. "Umm… Kenshin…" she turned away, fueled by both her fear and her overriding will to keep away from a married man.

"Kaoru-"

"Kenshin, you crazy idiot, you're married!" She glared at him as he approached her. "And-"she never did finish her sentence, because immediately after her mouth opened, Kenshin pulled her roughly to him and kissed her. Kaoru inwardly gasped, but outwardly responded to the sudden jolt of warmth and pleasure with her lips, and moved forward to deepen it further. Kenshin had planned no more than a short, chaste peck, but so many sparks flew through them both that they were near devouring each other. When she pulled her lips away, he only pushed her more firmly into the tree at her back. Kaoru felt her knees tremble with a thousand different emotions. Kenshin had kissed her. Her heart had latched onto him.

Kaoru slid from between the tree trunk and the invading but whole-heartedly desired male body and took a few steps away. She was thinking deeply. He was married, wasn't he? She was mourning Sanosuke, wasn't she? But she knew, from that one kiss, that nothing could amount to that. None of Sanosuke's kisses –or any other man's kisses– would amount to that. Nothing could measure up to the feelings his kiss had given her. Maybe he felt the same. Kenshin came up behind her and timidly touched her shoulders. Kaoru leaned into him as if giving him permission, and he ran his fingers down her arms. His caress sent shivers up her spine.

"Have I crossed the line?" He asked, his forehead creased with worry.

Kaoru let out a shaky breath at the affect his touch had on her. "You saved my life more than once. You protected me, and you're here for me whenever I need you. There are no lines."

At those words, Kenshin spun her around and kissed her again. It was timid and gentle, but when she moved his lips against his, he took it as the right sign and deepened it. Kaoru moaned softly and ran her tongue over his bottom lip. Kenshin felt like his heart was on fire as he backed her up into the tree and pressed his body into hers. Had he ever felt this way before? He didn't think so.

But images of Kenshin's wife entered Kaoru's mind, and she moved away from him.

"What is it?" He asked her.

"You…" Kaoru didn't know how to continue. But she knew that taking this further than it already went would only hurt her in the future. "You're not right for me, Kenshin…" She said unsurely.

Kenshin pulled back. "You're right." Tomoe entered his mind. But… he couldn't lie. Not to himself, at least. When he'd molded his body into Kaoru's and trapped her lips with his, it had felt so right…

"Thank you," Kaoru whispered softly, averting his gaze.

"Let's go back now. We'll miss the sunset otherwise."

Kaoru nodded, and Kenshin turned around. She took a few deep breaths, straightened out her clothing, and walked off the sparks that were still pulsing through her. She looked back at the grave with sad eyes, bowed goodbye, and whispered "aishiteru," to her father's dormant spirit.

The walk back was quiet and awkward. The feelings from the kiss still lingered in the space between them, taunting her and making her only want to kiss him more.

She glared at his back. He'd done it on purpose.

Kenshin, though, was in his own little world. I can't let this happen, he told himself. I'm married. She's heartbroken. What kind of match is that? He sighed and listened to her soft footsteps. It's a terrible match, even if those kisses made my heart skip a beat, and even if she mesmerizes me with a single look. I can't help it. It happens to everybody. Right? Kenshin growled angrily at himself. He was an idiot. No matter what, he and Kaoru could never be. Never.

When they got back, the blue sky was turning lilac.

"Perfect!" Kenshin chirped. "We're right on time!" He pushed his pondering to the back of his mind, and, if possible, out of it.

"That's good…" Kaoru said.

Kenshin looked at her and smiled. "Let's watch the sunset," he said to her, holding out a friendly hand. She took it the same way she had before.

The sunset was bright and beautiful, and Kaoru couldn't help but notice how amazing Kenshin looked in the setting rays of the sun, with his fiery red hair and lightly tanned skin. The colors of the sky took her breath away. As the sun lowered itself from the red sky, the snow began to fall again, tainting the white floor and the white flakes pink. Kaoru covered her mouth. "Kenshin!" She clutched his arm and gestured to the snow.

"What is it?" he questioned a little unsurely.

"I dreamed of this once… and in the dream, I'd heard my father's voice! It's so strange…" She trailed off, eyes locked on the beauty of everything around her. Kenshin watched her from his place and smiled at her, even though she wouldn't catch it. Kaoru was, indefinitely, special.

When it turned dark, they stayed in their places, staring at the dark sky. Kenshin got up and contemplated with himself. After a while, he turned to her and grabbed her soft hand. "Let's go somewhere…" he said.

"Where?" she asked suspiciously, allowing him to help her up.

"You'll see. Just get onto the carriage with me." He said.

He took her through a route in the forest that lead to the other side of the huge lake. The moon's reflection wavered on the surface. The place was a little more forested than the last one, and the edge of the lake sloped up to ground level instead of cutting off.

"It really is beautiful…" she sighed wistfully and got up from the carriage. She fed the two horses the oats she'd taken for them and walked towards the shore.

"It is, isn't it? It's really beautiful. I remember coming here when I was younger. Whenever Hiko–my master–and I went to this area, I came to the hills and stopped here for a while."

Kaoru turned to him and flashed him a friendly smile before returning her gaze to the full moon.

Kenshin couldn't help it as he gazed at her. Around Kaoru, he felt a little more relaxed. He would just have a little fun, and then go back to being cold. He kneeled on the ground and grabbed a handful of snow. Using his impressive aim, he threw a snowball and hit Kaoru directly between her shoulder blades.

Kaoru let out a short cry of surprise and turned around. "What was that for???" She demanded, giggling as she tried to keep a serious face. "It's cold enough already!"

Kenshin grabbed another handful of snow and shaped it. "Then defend yourself or fight back," he said in a challenging voice. Kaoru's brow rose. She was not one to back down from a challenge.

"You bet I'll fight back," she said dangerously, grabbing snow in her bare hands and getting into a fighting stance. She pretended the snowball was a bokken and swung her arm the same way she would have done with her weapon. Because of her routine, her aim was impressive and the force of her throws was harder than he expected. Kaoru hit him right in the side of the head with a large, loosely packed snowball and laughed as it burst in his hair. He froze, then turned to her with a smile. He threw one in her direction. Before she could dodge it, it hit her right in the chest. She screamed.

"Damn you! That was freezing!" She said, grinning.

"Well how do you think that throw to the head was?" he asked.

Kaoru packed together a defense wall only a couple feet high, all the while trying to dodge his hits. When it was built, she could duck and throw without making herself an easy target.

"Damnit…" he hissed. Then he straightened. "That will not be a problem! I shall build myself a wall, too! And it will be both bigger and stronger than yours," Kenshin declared dramatically, purposely trying to sound like an English conqueror.

Kaoru hit him as much as she could as he whipped together a defense wall higher than her own, but his dodges were surprisingly fast, even when he was on his knees. They battled playfully until they collapsed side by side in the middle of the snowy battlefield, exhausted, panting, but in a fit of laughter, too.

When the laughter died down, Kenshin allowed himself time to think. The only other time he'd fought one on one in the snow, it was the time when Tomoe was almost killed. He never thought his next snowy battle would be a snowball fight against a feisty young lady with beautiful blue eyes.

He sat up and stared thoughtfully at the lake. Kaoru sat up, too, grinning at him. The residue from the joy of the game was still alive on her smiling lips. Kenshin shot her a lopsided smile and started to pull off his gi.

"What are you doing?" Kaoru asked guardedly.

"I'm swimming." He said.

Kaoru chuckled derisively. "Go ahead, then. It's perfectly fine with me if you freeze your ass off, no matter how bad an idea it is."

Kenshin leapt into the freezing lake. When he broke to the surface, he was smiling.

"Kenshin! I wasn't serious! You'll get sick, baka!" She chided, walking to the bank.

Kenshin came out of the water shivering. "You're too serious. You take everything too heavily, Kaoru, but I know how to let things go lightly. Which is why I'm swimming right now!" He spread out his arms. His wet hakama clung to his thighs and swayed heavily with his movements. Kaoru's eyes trailed up his body. His stomach was rugged and muscled, and attractively lean. When she looked at his face, he was smiling.

"You're an idiot." She stated.

"No. You're just boring." Kenshin came walking towards her, emerging slowly from the water until he was looking down on her face, only inches away from her. He quickly rubbed his arms. "God, I'm freezing…" he said.

"It's your own fault, Kenshin. You try too hard to impress, and now—"

Kenshin cut her off with a long kiss. Her face was cupped in his hands as he ran his thumbs over the line of her jaw. Sparks flew. Kaoru began to kiss him back with just as much eagerness, and her wide-open hands trailed up his back, savoring the feel of every muscle and every bump on his graceful spine. Kenshin's arms snaked their way around her waist and pulled her in until her front was being soaked through by his wet state. They kissed harder. When Kenshin pulled away, he made sure the only thing separating from her was his face. He still held her just as tight.

"Are you cold?" He asked, trailing his index finger up her spine in a way that made her shiver.

Kaoru let out a trembling breath. "You're wrong for me."

Kenshin let her go and walked back to put on his gi. When he turned to her, she couldn't help staring. His red hair was darkened and completely loose. It fell beautifully over his shoulders. His eyes shined with anticipation and longing. How could she say no to him?

Kenshin, without really knowing what he was doing, made like he was running into the water again, but ran right into Kaoru and pulled her in with him. They let out a splash and held each other under water. When they resurfaced, Kaoru was pulling away from him.

"Idiot!" She scolded with exasperation. She stood, and Kenshin got a proper look at her body. She was curved. Womanly. Beautiful…

"You're too uptight. You needed it." he declared knowingly.

Kaoru glared at him and waded out of the water, but he knew he'd seen a twinkle of delight in her eyes. The kimono sagged heavily, and as she turned around to yell at him more, Kenshin caught her open mouth in another kiss. This time, it was closer, more willing, more intimate… Kaoru grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him harder against her. Kenshin felt his logic and thinking fly out of his mind and went into a state where his heart did all the thinking for him. He didn't think of anything else but her. He was caressing her curves. He was kissing her lips. His hands were in her hair. His body was pressed into her body. Everything revolved around her. Kaoru. The thing that was his. The thing that had been his ever since he first rescued her. That woman had seen it when she talked to him after the fight in Shoji Avenue. Others had seen it. Even Tae had seen it when they went to the Akabeko that day and got interrupted by Megumi's ranting.

Kaoru soon had to hug her arms around herself. "I'm cold." She said.

They met eyes, and silent understanding passed them both. Kenshin kissed her again, all the time leading her back to the carriage. He lifted her through the door and rested her on the leather bench, and Kaoru's body slid against the cushioning. She watched as Kenshin closed the door behind him. The compartment instantly warmed up. Kenshin placed one knee between her legs and rested his other leg on the floor. He leaned over and let Kaoru pull off his damp gi. Kaoru twisted around until her chest was against the seat so he could pull her obi knot apart. When Kenshin was left in his soaked hakama and Kaoru was in nothing more than her hip wrap and slightly transparent kimono shirt, he drew himself over her, gazed down into her sapphire eyes, and ran one hand over her barely clothed body. She watched him from her place beneath him, panting hard, waiting.

"You've had sex before." He said to her, caressing her cheek. "But you've never been loved."

Kaoru cupped his face in her hands, drew him down to her level, and touched his earlobe with the tip of her tongue. She slid the tips of her fingers over his bare arms and past his shoulders, all the way down to the belt of his hakama. She tugged on it and let it loose. "Then show me what it's like."

The next morning, it was as if falling into an exhausted sleep had taken Kenshin out of his state. He was logical and thoughtful again, and didn't rely only on his heart. But his mind was really teaming up with his heart at that moment. It was perfect…he told himself. He'd never be able to go back to anything less. Something had always been missing when he and Tomoe shared their occasional nights the way he just had. He'd always known in the back of his head that he was missing something. That 'something' was clearly present last night, when he shared it with Kaoru. Kenshin was lying naked on his back, and Kaoru was sprawled over him, one of her legs trapped between both of his. They were covered in a white blanket. She looked tired from the way she slumped over him and the way her lips parted slightly. Her hair was a mess, and sweat still clung to her skin. She looked blissful. More than just satisfied or content, but actually happy. He was, too.

But what had he done? When had he gotten so cruel? Kaoru wasn't supposed to mean anything to him, yet… he felt like she was the world and more to him. What about Tomoe? Sure, they seemed angry with each other when he'd left, but rockiness in their relationship didn't give him permission to love someone else. Then he stopped himself. Love? No. He didn't love her. Or did he…

Kenshin slapped his forehead again and again. "Damnit." He chanted. He felt so cruel. How could he live with himself? Did he love Kaoru? NO. Not at ALL. She was a one-night stand. That's all. He tried to repeat it to himself over and over, but the little, wise, knowing voice inside his head laughed. You do… it seemed to say.

Kenshin removed Kaoru gently from him. He had a good view of her whole body, unlike the night before, and stopped for a moment to stare at her. She was… she was perfect.

He lifted a hand and trailed it over the contours of her body, from head to toe. She turned over onto her side and shivered, so he covered her with the blanket again. He changed quickly, washed himself in the lake, and decided to leave. He would discuss things with Kaoru later. All he wanted to do was leave the place that contained the perfect memories of the night before. He wanted to forget his sin and move on. He couldn't go on like this. He wrapped himself more tightly in his haori, climbed to the front seat, grabbed the reins, and urged the horses forward.

///

Kaoru wasn't actually very surprised to wake up alone in a moving carriage compartment, lying on the leather bench completely naked and warmed by a white sheet draped carefully over her. Every memory of last night was stuck in her heart forever. She had always worried, after returning from Gohei's wrath, if she would be unable to marry because she knew how horrible sex was. But last night, with Kenshin… she knew that it was different. She knew it wasn't really supposed to feel the way it did when Gohei opened her up to his men.

It was supposed to feel the way it did the night before.

And it was amazing.

So why did she feel so much regret?

Kaoru knew why the moment she finished the question.

Kenshin was married. That love she felt last night wasn't for her. It was for his wife. The one he seemed to have forgotten about. The one he never talked about.

Kaoru sighed and held her head in her hands. Suddenly, she felt horribly sick. Being this way with Kenshin only made her life more complicated. She didn't know if she loved him. When Kaoru was with Sanosuke, she realized that her love for Sanosuke was what love was, and not her feelings for Keisuke. But when it came to Kenshin… did she love him? She felt stronger feelings for him the previous night than she ever had for Sanosuke. But she was willing to let him go. If he betrayed her, she wouldn't cry, or let her eating habits wither out. She would move on. Maybe it was only because their relationship was tentative, and the whole night happened by chance. They were both a little bit weird, freezing cold, and in some kind of daze that drove them into it. But Kaoru couldn't deny that she felt for him, and hoped from the bottom of her heart that somehow, he would have feelings for her, too.

Kaoru got dressed quickly and stayed in the back. She didn't want to face him just yet. Even though Kaoru had been broken in by Gohei almost three months ago, she still considered herself a virgin on the spiritual side. She hadn't done it willingly, and when it happened, she was being used and hadn't gotten anything but pain out of it. She considered last night to be the real loss of innocence. And she was ashamed. She considered it a sin –along with the gods- to do so before marriage. Kaoru sighed.

What mess had she created now?

///

Kenshin dropped her off at the dojo first, using some excuse about bringing the carriage back to the rental place early. Kaoru didn't have to question him. She fled to the safety of her house, and once she'd closed the door, she sank to her knees and let the tears run down her cheeks.

"Kaoru, you're so stupid…" she told herself, angrily wiping her tears away. "What are you crying for?"

He regrets it, too.

"Of course he regrets it…" She told herself.

He'll leave very soon, now.

"I'll understand his actions when he does."

You'll never see him again.

"Of course I'll see him again." She recited stubbornly.

Not if he doesn't want to see you.

Kaoru knew the voice inside her head was right. She knew that because of last night, and her stupid dream-talk and taunting (unintentional or not), she had lost him as a friend forever.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, slutty, stupid, bitch! Stupid me!" She cried. "It's all my freaking fault, damnit!" She didn't care to check her kimono. It was on the brink of falling apart due to her tantrum. Kaoru lay in the entrance hall, her legs unevenly folded and the rest of her body sprawled over the floor. The kimono fell off her shoulders, revealing her shoulder blades and her spine all the way down to the middle of her back. She felt so dirty… she wasn't a virgin at all. The second Gohei had touched her, she was tainted, like the white flowers on her silk kimono. She didn't know how to deal with her sudden realization. All she could ask was, "Why did all this have to happen to me? Why did it have to happen to anybody?" She cried angrily and pounded one of her fists into the darkwood polished floors.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru looked up and saw Misao kneeling in front of her, her slightly protruding belly bulging mildly over the waist belt of her new outfit.

"Misao?"

The younger girl, who suddenly seemed much older because she was engaged and pregnant, tried to lift Kaoru enough to look at her, but she didn't have to. Kaoru lifted her head, sobbed, and dove right into Misao's motherly arms.

"What's wrong, Kaoru?"

Kaoru sniffed and pressed further into Misao's softened stomach. "I've done a terrible thing."

"We were expecting you two to come home last night, Kaoru. You only just came back. Did something happen to you? Or Kenshin? Where is he? Did something happen to him? Tell me!!!" she gave her sobbing friend a desperate shake.

"He's going to be leaving us soon." Kaoru said.

"Silly," Misao smiled widely. "did he tell you that to your face?"

"No. But I've done something that will make him leave." Kaoru whispered sadly.

"All right." Misao said, hoisting Kaoru up by her underarms. "Come now. Tell me what happened slowly. Can it really be that bad?"

Kaoru lowered her head in shame.

"Kaoru?"

"I'm not innocent…" She whispered.

"What? If you're referring to Gohei, then don't worry. You're still innocent at heart. You were raped."

"No, Misao."

Misao caught on immediately. "You and Kenshin…"

Kaoru nodded. She covered her face in her hand, so she didn't see Misao's gaping mouth and wide eyes, sparkling with excitement until she looked up again.

"All right. So you two slept together. How can that drive him to leave? I mean… he should feel like a heavenly being for having someone as beautiful as you."

Kaoru smiled appreciatively, but her face fell. "He's married, Misao." Kaoru sighed weakly.

Misao's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

Kaoru burst into tears again, and Misao felt horrible.

"All right, Kaoru. Listen to me. You tell me how it led up to it, step by step, and then I'll be able to tell you who's fault it was. But please don't worry too much."

Kaoru nodded. She began her story, from the moment they first kissed at her father's grave to the moment Kaoru told him to 'warm her up.' Misao was a great listener, raising her brow naughtily at some points. When Kaoru finished, Misao looked disappointed.

"You're not gonna give me the details?" She pouted.

Kaoru sat agape on the floor of the entrance hall with her friend. "Misao!"

Misao started laughing, and Kaoru joined in half-heartedly. "I was joking, silly!"

Kaoru glared at her. Misao took it as a sign to get to work.

"All right. Lets see. He started the closeness by offering his hand to you and promising to stay by your side. He started the first kiss. Then he started the second. He started the snowball fight. He started the stripping and the swimming. He pushed you into the water by running into you. He started the third kiss. He walked you to the carriage without pulling his lips from yours. He lifted you into it and laid you in the carriage seat on your back. He was the one who suggested sex. Do you know what you did?"

Kaoru sighed audibly. "The same thing, Misao."

"No! You didn't do the same thing! You only gave your consent. What's a girl to do? I know you and Kenshin have been close ever since he first came. Don't think I didn't see you two standing there in the forest. I think you may have fallen in love!" Misao cheered.

Kaoru stared into space. Maybe she had. Maybe she loved Kenshin. Maybe? If he leaves, what will you **really** do? The voice asked. 'Break down.' Kaoru answered to herself. 'Feel alone.' She sighed. 'Feel lost. Feel nervous. Feel heartbroken.' She knew what love was. She finally did. She didn't love Sanosuke. At least, maybe not enough. Not enough for her not to fall in love again. If Kenshin walked away from her… her heart would break.

"Oh, Misao…" Kaoru sobbed. "I… I… I love him! I love him so much…" Her tears fell heavily.

"Kaoru? Why are you crying?"

"But he doesn't love me, Misao…" Kaoru cried harder. "He's married, he's ashamed, and he'll be leaving soon… to go back to his wife and rekindle the fire."

Misao's face fell sadly. Why was love so easy for her but so hard for Kaoru? She pulled her friend to her chest and hugged her close. Kaoru was so exhausted, and things had been so hard for her for such a long time, that Misao didn't try to question her or convince her of anything this time. She just lent her a shoulder and let her cry.

///

"Damnit…" Kenshin cursed. He didn't know what to do. "Kaoru will hate me. Tomoe will hate me. That is, if she finds out, which isn't possible. But…" he stopped to cross the road. "Will I be okay with it if Kaoru hates me?"

He had a furious headache. He knew all of the stuff that had happened last night was his own fault. He'd started it all. And why? There was a fit of insanity going through him when he did what he did.

You can't lie to yourself, his conscience chanted. You loved it. It was perfect. You will never be able to forget it. You love her. You know you do.

"I don't." Kenshin told himself firmly. "I love Tomoe."

Do you?

"Yes." Kenshin said.

You don't. Admit it. You've been unfaithful. But at least you found what you really want.

Kenshin let out an angry roar as he threw the dojo entrance open. "Damnit!" he cried. "I'm so fucking screwed…"

He walked reluctantly down the path and up the steps. "What the hell am I gonna do about this?" But Kenshin already knew. He could choose the one owed his life and his loyalty to, or he could choose the one he owed thanks to. Of course, Tomoe and he were on rocky ground, but he couldn't abandon her. As for Kaoru… he would regret staying with her. He was sure he would.

Kenshin opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Mainly because Misao was holding Kaoru trembling in her arms and blocking the doorway. He heard sniffing, and then a sob. Kaoru was crying.

"Memories?" Kenshin asked Misao knowingly.

"Yeah." She lied. "Memories."

She was horribly surprised when Kenshin just shrugged and walked right past. Maybe Kaoru was right… Hadn't he always been there for her?

Kenshin went into his room and stared at everything in it. It was hardly personalized, but it had a sense of belonging to him in it. He began to pack, remembering every blissful moment that had passed in this lively, friendly place. It didn't take long before all of his gis and hakamas and kimono were in his traveling trunk. He sighed when it was over and looked around. He'd leave many memories behind in here. He heard a door open, and Kaoru stepped onto the threshold. Her arm was still outstretched as it clutched the door. Her face was tinted with pinkish blotches here and there. Her hair was messy in its ponytail, and sections of it fell over her shoulders, creating a frame around her face. The familiar scent of jasmine filled his nostrils. Her kimono was crumpled, her obi was wrinkled, and the knot was falling apart. But she was more beautiful in that moment than he'd ever seen her before. This was the way he would remember her- messy, tearstained, exhausted, but still magnificently beautiful.

"So… you're finally going." Kaoru said.

Kenshin nodded slowly. "I think you understand why. I need to get back to my old life before I ruin it here." He said.

Kaoru nodded and lowered her head as the tears in her eyes became thicker. Then it dawned on him. She hadn't been crying over Sanosuke. She'd been crying over him. Kenshin felt a horrible pain in his chest. For some strange reason, he felt so guilty to be the reason she was crying that he wanted to crawl into a hole.

"Kenshin…" She started unsurely.

"Yes, miss Kaoru?"

Kaoru started, but she hesitated. Then, after a second, she dropped quickly to her knees and bowed as low as she could with horrible gracelessness. "Gomen nasai. For last night. For all that I did. Please find it in your heart someday to forgive me." she whispered.

Kenshin didn't wait. He bowed down lower than her, until his whole face was pressed to the ground. He was so nervous that he became fully focused on the tatami's soapy, fresh scent.

Kaoru looked up slowly and frowned. "Kenshin?"

"Thank you, Kaoru dono, for having me in these past six weeks. You were a wonderful hostess. I greatly appreciated your care, and I know you work hard to take care of the others. I wish you the best of luck."

Kaoru sat up and literally slumped. Her eyes were dulled and set firmly on the folded hands in her lap. She didn't notice that Kenshin had moved until he sat right in front of her with a purposely loud flop.

"And please, miss Kaoru… remember that you don't need my forgiveness. You need my thanks. Thank you for last night. It will be a part of my heart forever."

Kaoru looked up at him with wide eyes, but looked down just as suddenly. Kenshin gazed at her. How was it possible for one girl to be so beautiful? She was like a goddess or an angel. And he was leaving this goddess/angel for the one he'd seen and been with first. It made sense… right?

Kenshin pulled her close to him and kissed her. Kaoru grabbed him and kissed him back, and when it was over, their faces lingered closely; their fingers caressed the contours of the other's face… they gazed at one another until the tears fell –from both pairs of eyes.

"Goodbye, Kamiya Kaoru." He whispered. Kenshin ran his hands firmly down her body, and Kaoru closed her eyes, and then, with only the sound of ruffling fabric and a sharply closed door, he was gone. Only his sandalwood smell remained.

Kaoru sat frozen in place for a long time, eyes closed and blinded from all that was going on around her. She was certain that everything really had stopped. The silence was buzzing in her ears.

If he leaves, what will you **really** do? The voice asked. 'Break down.' Kaoru answered to herself. 'Feel alone.' She sighed. 'Feel lost. Feel nervous. Feel heartbroken.' If he were to walk away from her, she wouldn't cry. She would die.

She could still feel the certain areas of her face and her body burning with the remnants of his touch. "Kenshin…" She ran her delicate fingers over her skin, then started to tremble. "Kenshin…" She let out a sob, collapsed, and promptly burst into tears.


	10. The Way We Were

Here comes the time when everything falls apart, and the real story begins. Nope, it's nowhere near its end yet, people 

Chapter Nine  
The Way We Were

"I'm quitting this assignment." Kenshin said firmly to Katsura. "I won't be going back. I've been away from Tomoe for three times longer than promised, and I need to be with her again."

Katsura gave him a disgusted look that Kenshin didn't really manage interpreting.

"It doesn't matter, anyway. Secretary Okubo had met Kaoru the day before he died, and she told him about the Ishin Shishi's exceptional protection bestowed upon her. He decided to accept our deal that same day, but he died before he could put it into action. The man replacing him has done as he wished. You may return home."

Kenshin nodded, but as he did the light hit the tearstains on his cheeks. He turned to leave.

"Himura," Katsura said suddenly.

"What?"

"Are you… all right?" he asked.

Kenshin nodded suspiciously.

"You can stay with her if you want."

Kenshin scowled at him. "You know I'm married, Katsura-san." Kenshin spat. "When does my train ticket allow me to leave this place?"

"In an hour." Katsura said, sitting back in his spot. "Now get to it."

Kenshin left without another word. Katsura stared at the now empty doorway, sighed, and decided it would be best if Kenshin figured this out on his own.

He touched the window of the steam train and stared wistfully at the passing countryside. He was anxious to see Tomoe again, but Kaoru's face kept entering his mind. What the hell had he done? Did he just walk out on the most perfect female being ever to exist? Did he abandon her after taking from her what she values most? Kenshin was unable to keep his feelings inside. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Why did he have to discover her when it was too late?

Why did he have to lose her?

Why did he have to walk away?

He didn't have to walk away.

He just did.

"I had to!" He forced himself to understand why he did it. "It was best for Tomoe and I. On the day when I know for a fact that these words are no longer true, I will seek Kaoru."

Kenshin couldn't help but picture her laughing face in his mind. Suddenly, he wasn't sitting on a steam train anymore. He was in the middle of a snowball fight, next to a clear, shimmering lake and below a navy blue sky and a full moon, holding a snowball in his hand and seeking out a laughing Kaoru to throw it at. But before he could get the chance, she took him by surprise and hit him.

Kenshin couldn't help but think about it. Had he ever felt more relaxed, or innocent, or carefree, or just… happy?

Kaoru made him happy.

Did Tomoe?

He'd been with her for the past few years. He was satisfied and content.

Kaoru…

He pressed his head against the window, closed his tear-filled eyes, and let himself dream.

It was Kaoru. She looked just the way he remembered her, tearstained and reddened and disheveled… but still magnificently beautiful. She was smiling at him, though.

"I won't wallow in my misery. I'll get up and look forward to what's coming up next."

Kenshin knew he would never forget those words. They were the first words he heard from her that revealed her optimistic, beautiful soul.

Suddenly, Kaoru's smiling face was replaced with Tomoe's serious one. Kenshin could almost smell the white plum emanating from his elegant wife. He reached out to touch her, and she turned towards him. But she did not reach out for his hand. She stood there staring at him blankly. But when Kaoru appeared again, she took a step forward, lingered on her toes, and took Kenshin's hand, the same way she had on the day all was revealed. She was smiling again. The sight was soft on his sore, red eyes. But then she was replaced with Tomoe, who drew away, and then, the presence in his dream disappeared and he felt himself shaking.

"Sir," the attendant shook his shoulders. "You wanted to stop off here, am I correct?"

"Where are we now?" Kenshin asked groggily, wiping his tearstained face.

"On the outskirts of Otsu, sir."

Kenshin retrieved his travelling trunk and thanked him. He stepped out of the train and onto the cement floor. He took in a deep breath. "I hope I'm ready for this…"

When Kenshin arrived in Otsu from the train station, the sun was gone and the world was dark. Everything was the same; the village children gathered around the fires to listen to stories or laugh as they chased one another in a confusing game. The trees rustled and swayed in the wind. He passed most of the neighbors, and they greeted him warmly.

Nothing had changed. This was home. His home. And his woman was waiting for him. He was almost excited as he rushed up the hill to meet her.

When Kenshin reached his house, he opened the door and found Tomoe waiting for him, dressed up and elegant as always. Her kimono was a somber white, and her obi was the same dark purple. Her length of hair was put up in the usual style, and she smelled of white plums. She watched him for a moment, then got to her feet with practiced composure.

"Anata…" She said in her quiet, monotone voice. "Okarei nasai."

Kenshin lingered where he was for a second longer and then let himself rush to her. He took her in his arms and hugged her body close. "Tomoe…" he sighed. "My koishii…"

Tomoe hugged him back, but a little less readily. She seemed to remember the state of their relationship when he first left. He kissed her. The kiss was… it wasn't passionate, or lustful, or affectionate, or even loving. Somehow it felt so wrong! But it was familiar. It was the kind of feeling one would get when they returned home after months wandering. He was returning home. Tomoe let the kiss wither out and walked away.

"We'll have dinner together." Tomoe said.

Kenshin smiled and nodded. Dinner together was another familiar thing. He looked forward to it. He walked to the bedroom and changed into a fresh sleeping yukata. It smelled like Tomoe. He smiled and prepared himself a bath, and soaked until he was sure Tomoe had finished cooking.

He was still thinking of not thinking of Kaoru as he lay in the hot water and stared at his hands. Just the night before, they had been all over her. Now they were ready to be all over his wife. Almost disgusted with himself, he grimaced and got hurriedly out of the bath, throwing on a robe and walking through the grass to the house.

"Hello, anata…" Kenshin said with a smile.

Tomoe paled when she saw him walk out in a bathrobe. "Um… anata… don't you think that's a little bit…"

Kenshin frowned at her, then looked at his bathrobe. "Oh." He'd picked up the habit from Kaoru's house. "I guess it's all right. It's only the two of us, right?"

Tomoe nodded unsurely and watched him as he sat down with a strange, almost disgusted look.

"So…" she said awkwardly.

Kenshin looked up at her and smiled.

"How was it?"

Kenshin raised his eyebrows. That was probably the first time she'd ever started small talk. Then the words registered in his mind. Kenshin instantly felt guilty for being so unfaithful. He shouldn't have kissed Kaoru in the first place, no matter how much he wanted to. But that really was one night to remember.

_"Kenshin…" Kaoru moaned, throwing her head back and trying to fight her wrists from his hold. He didn't let her go. The feeling of dominance only made him want her more._

_"Kenshin!" She writhed as her inexperienced body registered the feelings going through her._

_"Kaoru…" He moaned into her hair._

_When the wave of heat had run its course and left him, he collapsed completely onto her and relished the feeling of her chest as it heaved against him. When he looked at her, she was gazing at him._

_"Your eyes…" she whispered. "They're so beautiful…"_

"Kenshin?" Tomoe prodded.

"Oh… it was all right." Kenshin said. "It took too long. I missed you…"

Tomoe accepted the answer and went back to eating. Her back was perfectly straight. Her movements were practiced and measured down to the last angle. While she reached for the food with her chopsticks in one hand, her other hand held back her sleeve to make sure it didn't get into the food. Her eyes remained blank and lacking in emotion.

When Kenshin began eating, wondering on Tomoe's perfect manners, he sat back and savored every taste with relish. He closed his eyes and sucked on the sauce in the small cuts of beef. When he finally realized Tomoe was watching him, he saw suspicion in her eyes.

"You've changed." She said.

"No I haven't," he replied nervously.

"Yes, you have. Something is different."

Kenshin shrugged. "I guess I just changed a little…"

"You keep on smiling randomly while you eat. And you close your eyes and slouch or sit back. And… you're here in a bathrobe! You really have changed."

Kenshin shrugged. "I guess I just feel more comfortable around you, now." He said. But he knew the real reason. In the Kamiya Dojo, there was no practicing, no formality, no perfection. There were no etiquette classes. Everybody was free to be emotional or to savor every taste and every moment. They had no reason to be conservative or elegant around their friends, and went to dinner wearing a bathrobe. Everybody in Kaoru's house left the formality behind. They knew when to be formal and when not to be. The policy happened to grow on him.

"All right. But comfortable isn't sloppy. Remember that." Tomoe said. As she cleared away the dishes, Kenshin covered her pale hand with his. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with supposed surprise. "What is it?"

"You know you're important to me, don't you?" Kenshin asked her, playing with her limp fingers.

Tomoe gave him a tiny, lifeless smile. "Hai." But even as she agreed, something was sad inside those deep, sparkling black eyes.

///

For the next few weeks, Kenshin was happy to be back into the routine of things. It snowed heavily, and he told a story or two about his adventures to the little children of the village. During the day he worked, growing potatoes and travelling back and forth from the winter market to his home. He was content again.

But he and Tomoe hadn't gotten any better. She was always so distant, and sometimes he felt like he was living with a stranger. It was back to the way things were when he left to kill Gohei.

He spent the season the way he spent every winter. He made sure the larder was always full, entertained the neighbors, bought heavier clothing, and ate dinner with Tomoe next to the fire in the evening. Of course, it brought back memories of that snowy night on the veranda with Tomoe, when she dove into his arms for some unknown reason and embraced him, and proceeded to take his virginity gently from him. But the memory was so distant compared to the Tomoe he knew now…

Katsura returned from his back and forth trips to Tokyo for good. He wasn't going to be returning very soon. His alignment with lord Okubo had gone exceptionally well, he was satisfied, and he had no more business in Tokyo. He moved back to the outskirts of Otsu in his new hideout, very close to Kenshin's house, so he visited often.

Kenshin found himself thinking of Kaoru. He was so busy with other things, and he had wished she could only be a distant memory in his mind, one that he rarely picked up on. But it was not so. Everything he saw reminded him of her. A certain feeling would remind him of that night. If his fingertip touched a cherry petal, he'd remember running his hands over Kaoru's skin. If he smelled jasmine, he'd remember the feelings he went through while his lips were against hers in the back seat of the carriage and her jasmine scent was at its strongest.

He had other things to worry about, but he couldn't stop thinking of her. And in his dreams… every night he dreamt of the same thing. It could have been just the scent of jasmine, or the feeling of a supple, familiar body beneath his, shining with sweat and arching into him, or maybe even just the sound of her voice as she'd whispered his name… it didn't help.

Winter always seemed longer than summer, and it displeasured him every time. He had to take extra precautions, food became harder to get, he had to dig in the cold, hard dirt for the mountain potatoes… He didn't like it at all. Four months passed in a similar manner with a similar schedule before the snow finally melted.

The beginning of spring was warm enough to melt the white away and bring out flowers, but still cold enough to wear heavy clothing. He was called back to Katsura's office for an assignment, and was very surprised to find a noticeably pregnant woman standing in the waiting area and arguing with one of the Ishin Shishi spokesmen. Her long, dark hair was tied into a braid that reached her waist, and she was wearing a warm haori and a long, side-slit skirt. Her outfit was blue, and she wore battle gloves on her hands. Her rather large belly looked huge compared to her small body.

Kenshin rushed right past her. He didn't even want to think about who he knew she was. When he rushed into Katsura's office and slammed the door shut, he looked up at his employee and sat forward.

"I have the commander of the most powerful ninja clan in Japan standing in my waiting area. Do you realize that???" He looked a little stressed out.

"The one in blue?" Kenshin asked.

"Miss Makimachi, I believe."

"Misao…"

"Yes. You got that right. I finally saw her in person. The girl is tiny!"

"But she's terrifying, Katsura, I'll tell you that much."

"I have no doubt about that. She's pregnant and tiny, so she's bound to be the leader for some reason or another. I guess they elected her because she's terrifying." Katsura chuckled and gestured for Kenshin to sit down.

"So… what's my assignment?"

Katsura eyed him seriously. "This is an assignment you cannot take lightly. Not even if somebody you love is in danger. Do you understand?"

"Will Tomoe be in danger?" Kenshin asked immediately, sitting forward.

"No, no, no. Don't worry. Tomoe is fine in Otsu."

"All right…" Kenshin settled down.

"Do you remember anything of Miss Kamiya's two male friends?" He asked.

Kenshin frowned. "Yeah. One of them is miss Misao's fiancé, Aoshi Shinomori. The other isn't a friend any longer. He is Sanosuke Sagara."

"Aa. I see," Katsura said. "They managed to stop the grand inferno with the rest of the Oniwabanshu. Sagara and Shinomori worked together to kill most of Shishio's henchmen, but Shishio remains untouched. Shinomori has impressive skill, but we don't think he can stand up to Shishio. As for Sagara… he was mortally wounded during his last kill. He's been in recovery for the past few weeks, but his chances of survival are all too slim."

Kenshin lowered his head. For Kaoru's sake, he'd hated Sanosuke for doing such things to her. But he'd never wanted him to die. "So…" he began. "What you're saying is that you want me to kill Shishio?"

"It'll be a difficult task, but we need you… you're indefinitely Japan's best swordsman."

Kenshin nodded slowly. "I already know all I need to know from my master. All I need is to make sure everyone I leave behind will be safe."

Katsura's eyes flashed with something he couldn't interpret. "Tomoe will be safe." As for Kaoru… he added silently. I'd best let Miss Misao tell him.

"You are to leave tomorrow morning to get to Kyoto. As always, everything will be taken care of. You may leave."

Kenshin bowed and took his leave. He decided on getting out of there as fast as possible so Misao wouldn't see him. But she was sharp as always, and as soon as he touched the door out she was there.

"Himura!" she cried.

Kenshin bolted through the door and started running. He knew she was slow due to her pregnancy. But he felt something whiz past his ear and then felt warm liquid trickle from a new wound.

"HIMURA!!! If you don't stop I'll aim a little LOWER!"

He froze. No. She wouldn't. And she didn't, seeing that he'd stopped. He'd noticed a lack of playfulness in her voice, among other things, and got worried. She came towards him panting and holding her hand to her swollen belly. But she was still running.

"You need to help! It's very important that you help us! There's no way I can do it by myself like this, and Yahiko's too little, and—"

Kenshin stopped her with a finger on her lips when he noticed the tears running down her cheeks. "Hold on a second, and calm down, Makimachi-san."

She wiped her tears away angrily with one hand, while the other stayed on her stomach. It seemed to serve as a comfort to remember that another being was always with her and she wasn't alone.

"Kenshin, you need to help. It's Kaoru…"

Kenshin froze. Kaoru…? What's wrong with Kaoru? He grabbed Misao's shoulders desperately. "What's wrong with her, Misao? Tell me!"

Misao was still crying as she told him, wiping her eyes with her arm as she went. "She's been kidnapped…"

"By who, Misao? Who!?" he shook her shoulders.

She sniffed again and wiped her eyes. "Shishio, Kenshin… he's too rough! He's probably killed her already, and she's been gone since the beginning of winter, but nobody could help…"

Misao's words withered away in Kenshin's mind as a white noise filled his ears.

"Kaoru…" he whispered.

///

Kenshin sighed as he trudged through the melting snow to his house. He had to leave again, and not only that, but the news Misao brought him disturbed him deeply. There was no sign of Kaoru. Nobody could tell if Shishio had killed her or not. Kenshin was so disturbed by the news… and he had to leave tomorrow, too! Damnit…

He slid the door open and he couldn't hear anything going on. Tomoe was probably out for the day doing her usual rounds. He wanted so badly to cry, he practically threw himself onto the futon in the bedroom and roared furiously into his pillow. Eventually, sleep overtook him.

He was sitting against a tree. A sakura tree. The silence was overpowering and the air was heavy with suspense, and his head hung so low his neck ached. His eyes were closed. He had started noticing another presence… one that made him feel guilty and nostalgic and in love all at once. He opened his eyes and rose slowly to his feet, and he began to see the person watching him. He saw the white kimono, patterned beautifully with cherry blossoms and branches, reaching out all over, with a dark purple shade at the hem, paling as the fabric reached up. He saw the dark pink obi bound by a golden chord. He saw hands, clasped together, and he saw the collar, reaching low to show pale, pale skin. That long neck, that beautiful skin, those smooth collarbones. He didn't even need to see the face before he knew who it was. It was Kaoru. He lifted his head all the way, and then he saw all of her, her kimono, her obi, her beautiful face, her dark, bluish raven hair. As he looked into her beautiful sapphire pupils and they made eye contact for the first time, all the snow on the floor and all the snowflakes in the sky turned into sakura petals, and all of the cold wind turned into a warm breeze. The scenery of a sorry, gently snowing forest turned into a bright plain of sakuras. There were so many petals falling that they covered the ground like snow. Her black hair waved in the wind like flowing water, and her blue eyes were watery with tears, and she smiled at him. She looked so alive that he could've sworn it was the real Kaoru standing before him.

She walked slowly towards him, her hands still clasped together. He took a hesitant step forward; so afraid that if he moved the beautiful vision of his obsession would disappear. He could see the smile in her eyes, her love for him unspoken but so obvious in the way she looked at him. It took not a moment longer before they broke into a run, sprinting towards each other with ardent desperation. When they met, something happened. Everything felt light and easy, and the sky was brighter. They held each other so tightly they both could barely breath. Kaoru pressed her cheek into the nape of his neck and closed her eyes Her fingernails pinched his back, but every bit of pain was dear to him so long as it came from her. Light emanated from the two people, so intrigued by each other but still so distant. Everything about Kaoru seemed real. He could smell the jasmine around her and he could feel her warmth and smooth hair. He pawed his hands through her hair and down her back, just to make sure she was real.

He felt Kaoru tense up. He felt her move her hands from his back to his head, making a shaky fist in his hair, and she began trembling as a sob racked her body. "I'm sorry, Kenshin, I'm sorry…" she wept, burying her head in his shoulder. Her fingers tensed and shook even more. Kenshin could even feel the pull on his hair. He grabbed the back of her head and held her securely against him, fearing if he didn't hold her, she'd disappear. "I'm sorry, for everything that happened, for causing you such pain," She sobbed vehemently. She let go of him, but he still kept his hold on her. But all it took was one tug, and he found his arms wouldn't let him keep her anymore. She started backing away from him, her eyes still on him, shiny and red rimmed with tears and glowing with sexless longing.

Kenshin tried to reply with those same words. He tried to apologize for letting this happen, and he tried to tell her how much he'd loved her ever since the day they met. But it just wouldn't happen. Kaoru lowered her eyes sadly. She wasn't looking at him anymore, but instead she was staring down at the ground, which seemed to be getting cold and icy again. The cherry blossom petals turned back into snow, and soon the breeze became a biting cold blizzard. Through the swiftly flying snow, he could see Kaoru, tears streaming from her eyes, her body shaking. She doubled over and held a hand over her mouth, as if she were making a weak attempt to suppress those heart-wrenching sobs. He ran forward, reaching out for her, but she closed in on herself a little more and she was suddenly gone. Everything turned black and blood fell like rain from the sky. It pattered on his head and his back, painting his hair deep red with the horrific blood. He ran frantically, desperate to get out of the shower of blood, though it just seemed to fall heavier. He looked around for Kaoru. Somehow, he could still feel her and he knew she was still there. He tried to call out her name, but he still couldn't talk. He tripped and fell forward onto his knees in the pool of blood that had now replaced the petals and the snow. The rain of blood still pattered against his back. He leaned forward, staring at the blood he was kneeling in, and visions of his victims as they died came flashing before his eyes. He dropped his head, groaning, and suddenly bellowed a loud scream. He felt like he was going insane. He wished he could come out of this living hell. He wished he could close his eyes, cover them, and blind himself to these visions. Suddenly, a pair of hands reached out and covered his eyes. Immediately the visions stopped.

"You are the healer, Kenshin… you are worth everything… even though you kill… even though you take lives for a living…" He heard Kaoru's desperate voice whisper frantically in his ear. "You are two people… but it didn't matter to me, not one bit. Who you are inside… was more important… than… the things you did."

He could feel her hair spilling over his shoulders. He could feel her body leaning against his back, shielding him from the rain of blood. He could feel her soft palms over his eyes, keeping the visions far away from her innocent, bloodless hands. Heavy footsteps were heard. Kaoru's breath turned shallow and quick. She let out a cry and brought her whole body over him, as if trying to keep him away from an offensive force, the way Sakura had done that night when he was a child and witnessed his first murder. Kaoru kept looking backwards, but never moved her hands from his eyes. As the heavy footsteps got louder and deeper, she started to panic. She pressed her cheek against his. "Kenshin, just stay still. Don't move. I'll be here-" Suddenly her voice stopped, and her body was taken from him. She struggled to keep her hands over his eyes, and then, defeated, she had to let go as she was taken too far away from him. He opened his eyes and he could see again.

He turned around and she was still there, smiling at him through the blood that fell over them both. But those blue eyes began to glaze over, and she closed her eyes before she let a tear drop. He stared at her. He tried to walk closer to her, but as he did she started to cry, as if he were coming to kill her. "Kenshin… don't!" she begged. He kept on coming closer. "Don't! Turn around!" She screamed. Kaoru shook her head, begging him to stay where he was. He reached out, wanting to ask her why she was so afraid. She watched him as he got closer and took a few steps back. Her breathing was getting heavier, and he could tell she was expecting something horrible. "Kenshin! Cover your eyes!"

He dropped his hand. "Why?" It was the first word he'd spoken.

"Do it!" She begged.

"No!"

"Cover your eyes! Don't watch!" She begged, and she was already on her knees and crying, looking up at him with fierce, pleading eyes. He stretched out his arm to touch her, but as he did that she lifted her head and screamed. Kenshin's heart stopped when he saw Shishio behind her. Kenshin screamed in horror as the villain plunged the sword into her back and yanked it in until it came out through her stomach. After he twisted the sword inside her body she fell to the ground like a rag doll. He stared down at her, pinned to the wall by his sword, a note stuck to the blade. He cried desperately for her return, and felt like the world was no longer his to live in.

When she was gone… All of his pain returned.

_Only you can heal my heart_

_Only you can ease my pain_

_Only you…_

_Only you can teach me to love again…_

When he woke up, he found the tears he had cried in the dream were still there on his cheeks. He wiped them angrily away. In that dream he had been so happy and so sad… he couldn't even make sense of how he felt. When he opened the door, he heard the familiar sounds of a busy housewife, and wandered through the hallway to the light at the end, like a man surrendering to the light of heaven at the end of the tunnel…

And he saw Tomoe drinking tea in the kitchen.

"Hello, anata…" he said to her.

She looked at him and greeted him back. "It's so dark already… why are you so late?"

Kenshin couldn't tell her. He'd been walking around in circles thinking about Kaoru, and how difficult his worry for her state would make the new assignment. It would be so difficult… he knew it was bound to be difficult.

"I just… I had a long talk with Katsura, that's all."

"And your assignment?"

"I have to fight Shishio." He said.

"Then…" she looked at him and set her cup of tea down. "This could be our last night together…" she said. "He's very powerful."

Kenshin winced. But he knew what Tomoe meant. He pulled her to her feet, drew her forward, and kissed her. He walked them to the bedroom and flopped down on the floor. He forced himself to kiss her. He forced himself to untie her obi. He forced himself to do everything. His lips trailed over her jaw and he nipped lightly on her ear. He paid attention to the feeling of their legs tangled together and her small breasts pressed against his chest. He had a good feeling about this. He could handle it. He really could. But as he was about to pull away her kimono shirt and her hip wrap, he brushed a thumb over her nipple and froze.

He thought of a smaller, more muscular, more curvaceous body. He thought of a smaller waist, and rounder hips, and creamier skin… he thought of blue eyes and a face so beautiful it outshined even Tomoe. If only… If only…

Kenshin's eyes widened.

If only it was her…Kaoru…

If only it was back on that night… back when he had kissed her. Back when he'd spent the night pressed against her… Back on the night he would always remember.

///

"You've never felt this before, have you?" Kenshin asked her. He stared down at Kaoru's struggling form as she writhed and tried to suppress her moans. She stared up at him, and her eyes shined in the moonlight just as much as the beads of sweat covering her chest.

"I haven't…" she replied, breathing shallowly. Her eyes were clouded with lust and longing.

Kenshin smiled at her and ran his hands up her sweat-streaked body. She arched her back and moved her hips into his. Her hands turned into fists in the white sheet. Kenshin grabbed them away and suspended them above her head. Kaoru stared up at him, suddenly looking serious. Her striking face, glistening in the moonlight, was so hypnotically beautiful that he found himself desperate to look away in case she made him fall in love.

"All those times before…" she whispered, "they weren't for my pleasure. I was the toy; the object others would use. I've never felt this…" then she clenched her teeth and arched her back again. She was getting closer, and so was he.

Kenshin smoothed his damp palm down her pinked cheek. "This isn't about anybody but us." He whispered. "This is about me and you." He hugged her closer, and they stared into one another's eyes as they panted heavily. "Only you."

Kaoru's eyes watered and she smiled that beautiful smile he already knew by heart. "Nobody's ever done that for me…"

Kenshin's eyes softened, and he trailed butterfly kisses from her jaw to her neck, then further down to her breasts, and then he stopped at her ribs, savoring the taste of her skin in a way that made her shiver. But he came to a sudden, anticipative halt when It happened.

"Oh god…" Kaoru groaned with her constricted voice. Her arched body pressed into Kenshin's so hard she could feel his heartbeat against her collarbone. Kenshin had known how to handle this a little better, but he'd never experienced the feeling as intensely as he did now, and he was in a similar state, groaning into her neck and clenching his fists in her tangled hair.

"Kaoru…"

"Kenshin…"

When it was over, they held one another close, breathing heavily, clutching each other in cavernous, passionate bliss.

When Kenshin looked into Kaoru's blue eyes again, he found that not only was she smiling, but her smile had reached her eyes for the first time, too.

The sight gave him so much relief and meant so much from all she had been through that he let out a laugh, from sheer joy, and trailed his lips down her body, kissing every scar and every bruise until he could bear the weight of her suffering with her, if only for a moment.

Kenshin kissed her cheek, then her neck, then her breast, worshipping her body the way that only lovers would. She closed her eyes blissfully and hugged his neck. "Think you can go one more time?"

Kenshin's mouth devoured hers in another savage kiss. Their lips tasted faintly of the salty sweat they were both still shedding. He ran his hot tongue along her collarbone, tasting the salt from her sweat and the sweetness from her jasmine scent and the mint in her hot, heavy breath until she arched her back and moaned.

"Yes."

///

Kaoru.

His Kaoru.

"Kaoru…" He whispered… "Kaoru…"

Tomoe frowned and looked up at him. "Kaoru?"

Kenshin stared at her like it was the first time he'd ever laid eyes on her.

Kaoru…

Kenshin pulled away from Tomoe and stumbled back. In a strange way she looked… relieved. He staggered through the hallway and out the front door to the cold air. He took a walk so long he wondered if he'd ever find his way back. He ended up collapsing to his knees at the sudden realization.

"Kaoru…" he murmured again. He felt tears hit his eyes. He felt his body ache with the longing to be near her again and to feel her breathe and see her smile and smell her light, jasmine scent. "This is so screwed up…" he murmured to himself. He'd never be able to concentrate in his fight with Shishio. Not while he believed Kaoru was dead. "She's not dead!" he snapped at himself. "She's not! She can't be!"

But there was no sign of her…

Shishio would have released her…

Shishio wouldn't release her, though…

He's Shishio…

He would…

"She's not dead…"

"She's not dead…"

"She's not dead…"

Kill her.

"She's NOT DEAD!" He cried angrily.

Kenshin held his head in his hands and groaned angrily.

"SHE'S NOT DEAD!" He fell to his knees. "She's not…"

She could be…

It's not impossible…

She could easily be dead…

Kenshin felt his body rack with sobs. Kaoru.

And then he realized.

He realized why he'd been so smitten by Kaoru the first time he saw her, and why he was so protective of her, and why he was so annoyed when she was in love with Sanosuke, and why he was so angry when she'd been betrayed by Sanosuke, and why the mere sight of her made his knees feel weak, and why kissing her had made his heart skip a beat, and why he couldn't stop thinking of Kaoru in these months without her.

It was something deeper than lust and stronger than love – it was as if fate had conspired to bring them together, and that his only purpose in life was to be tangled up in her. The one he was destined to be with, no matter what had happened before, was her.


End file.
